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EXPECTATIONS
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seen from Türkiye
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@automatic-arguments
Welcome to the DANGER ZONE!
I'm Smnio (or at least I think I am) (( @smnio ))
I'm Sheriff ( @post-shooter )
I'm Tilda ( @epprbcu-shipping )
I'm Asmo ( @censorship-minusequals )
1 pr0b6bly d0n't 3x1st, w3 h6v3n't d3c1d3d y3t ( @robosnom )
I don't know who the fuck I am (blog not made (yet))
AND WE CANNOT AGREE ON ANYTHING
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I can almost hear them.
How the fuck did a deep dive into the lore of Twisted Metal: Black explain what I'm going through at 75% accuracy?
New mind theory below the cut
Love isn't real
Love isn't real
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Chat what are the logistics of mounting a screen to the side of your head so you can have an 8-bit representation of who you think you currently are in view at all times? Also, turns out I've been talking for the past, like, month or so. Trans rights :3
:3 <- smile for cats, dogs :) <- smile for humans :] <- smile for reptiles, amphibians :> <- smile for birds := <- smile for insects (: <- smile for sinister humans
:} <- smile for turtles
::::3 <- smile for spiders
:>
:3
:》
(:
...oh who am I kidding, puppeteering their bodies around like this isn't right, I have to get them back somehow. :<
Coining post
Broken Singlet - A broken singlet is a singlet or plural-adjacent individual who is only one person split into several parts, but these parts don't feel separate or distinct enough for them to truly consider themself plural/a system, in a way that makes them feel 'broken' or 'incomplete'. This label should only be used for self-identification, and not the identification of others.
Experiences a broken singlet may have:
No headspace
Members don't interact with each other in the headspace (or lack of)
Feeling that you're just one person who changes a lot
Unnoticeable switches, unsure if they even occur
Feeling as if you are or could be a system, but being too singlet for that to be in the realm of possibility
Feeling "incomplete", like something is missing
Perpetually in a state of identity confusion
Constant self-doubt
Extremely self-indulgent because this is my own experience.
THERE'S A NAME FOR THIS? "Extremely self-indulgent because this is my own experience" MY ASS, ONE OF US HAS TO BE THE OTHER FROM THE FUTURE
No second interaction yet, but now I'm thinking about whether a fae would need the names of everyone in the system, just one, or those of everyone currently fronting to have power over them
IT'S HAPPENING IT'S FUCKING HAPPENING I'M BEING SPOKEN TO WITH NO ROOM FOR MISINTERPRETATION! Ok so basically what happened was I was just laying on the couch thinking about a song when I started properly hearing the piano section of the song. This wasn't just my usual hum-piano replica I usually have, this was full-blown piano. I'm utterly shocked by it, it stops, and then I hear a deep reverberating voice tell me to pick up the notebook a few seconds later. I don't know what they're talking about, I ask for it to clarify, they say something I can't understand through the reverb. This continues for the past few minutes and now I can't hear anymore, probably because I asked if it could wait until tomorrow since I am so freaking tired right now. God I really hope they don't forget so I can figure out who they are
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IS THIS JUST REGULAR EMOTIONS???
Are you still insane?
Right now, I'd say I'm about halfway to sanity. On one hand, I still can't tell when I should or shouldn't give people the benefit of the doubt, nor can I delete long messages and consider it releasing stress. On the other hand, over the course of this year, I've gotten news from many outside sources that the people around me are more of a problem than I am, that how I think will be beneficial to me in the future, and that several of the things that get me thinking "how can I NOT get mad at this fool" will go away on their own in about two years time. I don't know if I've changed at all since two years ago, hell, even five years ago, but whatever's been causing these meltdowns sure has, and it's disappearing over the horizon
Nevermind, 30 second dream where I got a notification for a post mentioning me, it was a "where they are now" and apparently I was dead. Status left a comment clarifying what happened, which I'm only now realizing is strange because they were offline for that whole thing, and the comment under it said I could've just asked to come back any time between weeks 4 and 8, but now it's been 15 and I'd better have a good reason! Worst part is, I'm genuinely considering putting this through an AI editor to make it sound less like begging for someone who doesn't exist to stop hating me! I don't know what's going on, but if I find out that it's real, everything is going to fall apart. Forget waiting until summer, I need a second opinion on this, but apparently what's left of my mind thinks nobody who would see this is going to say anything other than "they're right, you've been faking everything the whole time and deserve to die painfully and horribly" which means the only way I'm confirming what this means is through forcing a re-split. I don't sound like I'm begging for help, do I? I'm supposed to do this on my own
I present to you: the Endo Dragon
Aren't hydras Endo Dragons? Or at least a good portion of them
It can be a bit difficult at times to explain how our weird little soupy subsystem exists and functions within our overall system, so to provide a bit of a visual aid, we made a quick... comic? Infographic? Whatever this is!
WAIT, THAT'S AN OPTION? WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT SOONER! Clearly, I need to do more research before attempting to re-split
HLEP said "mickeys" instead of "mickey" when referring to our cat and asked aloud, "why did i say that. are their several of him?" and my brother said "maybe he has separate personalities that arent aware of each other" and i. i mean someone in this house sure does
your cat. he's purral now
Shut it, you'll blow my cover >:3
Figuring out willomancy to bring the voices back, wish me luck :3
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NEW SYSTEM THEORIES UNLOCKED
Not coloring this one since I'm not currently sure if the Smnio I've been assuming is my "main" consciousness exists or not but I figured I'd put every possibility in this post just in case. Putting it behind a read more because if I see or hear one more person say I talk about my feelings too much I am going to start making decisions I will regret in no less than a year and no more than five years
I know some people might have a hard time understanding why I (a traumagenic system that was abused by a fake system) don’t fakeclaim endos. In fact, I think some might even find me stupid for it.
Growing up, my disorders and symptoms were ignored because of my brother having diagnosed autism and his issues taking priority. My parents were so focused on him that when I brought up that I might have autism, it was laughed at. I not only have trauma from it but I have much more severe issues by having my issues invalidated and ignored. Because of a lack of support and treatment, a lot of my issues went unaddressed for years.
I know what it’s like to be laughed at by doctors. I know what it’s like to be ignored. I know what it’s like to have my issues disregarded. I never ever want to cause that for another person. I am willing to be lied to if it means giving someone support when they get none.
I would rather be lied to and betrayed than invalidate, isolate, ignore, and demonise a person that isn’t lying.
As my dad says, it's better that 100 people who don't need help get it than 1 person who does need help doesn't. Sure, I have no idea who or what I am, but there are bigger fish to fry. I will continue to remain a symbol of justice, the chill down hate's spine, an inexplicable thorn in the sides of all who dare speak ill of fellow humanity, and the reason why many wake up in the morning for as long as it takes to finally achieve true equality. It doesn't matter who we are in this world, what matters is that those who dare speak of evil must be swiftly dealt with. Instability is a curse, and no amount of assumptions or medications can lift it. Until our mission is complete, it's unlikely that anyone will understand what we suffer. Empathy will be the blazing sword that cleaves through the land, and in sacred fire will the world be reborn. So what if I'm going too far in the right direction, I'd rather keep running until I fall off the cliff than take a single step in the wrong direction, and that's who the world needs in this day and age! MAY ALL REALITY BE WORDS ON A PAGE, AND LET OUR MIND COMPREHEND EVERY LETTER!
