stronger than i was

There’s no rush. After Piper’s shooting, business has been.. slow.

You mean the shooting that could've been prevented if everyone had just listened to me? Yeah.

Who are you trying to fool right now? Because this is me you’re talking to. As far as I can tell, you’re not nearly as thug and hardcore as you used to be. And that’s a good thing because we’re maturing, remember? Hey, after I met Skinny and Rabbit I stopped questioning the people you hang around with. So for all I know, you could be spending all your free time hanging out with horny old guys. Lord knows you’re probably going to turn into one yourself one day. So it’s not a total stretch. And I’m sure there’s some guy out there who digs cat hoarding psychopaths. Everybody’s got their kicks after all. Demons or not, I’m sure Luna would be able to take them. She’s a bad ass in case you forgot. Even in knit sweaters and tutus. Austin. I can barely trust you enough to make a grocery list. So that thought isn’t exactly reassuring. Maybe you should just leave that job to me. Well, you could have weighed more than that before I met you. Your outfit choices on occasion would certainly give most people that impression. Just let me cook for you anyway. I need the practice. Our future children can’t live off boxed macaroni and cheese and PB&J. And there’s gonna come a time when I need to cook thanksgiving dinner or like serve a bunch of house guests. It may not seem important right now but one day it will be. Besides, cooking is a practical skill to have. You should be happy I even want to try. I’ll even promise to make some unhealthy stuff sometimes too. I let you think you can fool me. There’s a difference. If it’s not that big of a deal then why are you even bothering to get me anything, huh?

I will always be thug and hardcore, alright? I've just calmed down a bit. But it won't last long. Cause now that you're all in love with me and stuff and we're gonna get engaged and married one day, you can't leave me for being too thug and hardcore. So now I can go back to my thuggin' days. Yeaaah, bitch. And for the one hundredth time, his name is not Rabbit. Babe. When i'm not working, I spend all of my time on the couch, playing Xbox. That is my free time. Not chillin' with some old as fuck horny guys. That's weird as shit, even if you think I'm gonna turn into one. Which I seriously doubt is gonna happen. I don't age. How would I ever forget that our little girl is a badass? Even if I don't agree with the tutus, she's pretty damn cute. I mean badass. Whatever. And hey. I wouldn't fuck up a list if it had anything to do with Luna. I have never weighed more than one fifty, alright? Maybe I should start working out like crazy and drinking a shit ton of that protein shit to get all buff and fill out my clothes. Fine, you can start cooking, but only cause I don't want our future kids to die from food poisoning. I'm just kidding. Kind of. I love Thanksgiving dinner. Do you think that you could like make Thanksgiving dinner once a week? I have a weakness for mashed potatoes. No, I'm pretty sure I can totally fool you. It's the eyes. My eyes and mouth work all the magic. Valentine's Day isn't a big deal, but you're a big deal to me. That's why I'm getting you something.

Mhm. I was quite shocked when I found it and I absolutely couldn’t resist the temptation. Huh… I suppose I could do that. It’s kind of in a big tub, though. I’m not sure how to split that up.

 Just like... put it in a bag or something? You think that'll work? I don't know.

Did you know that you can buy just the filling of cheesecakes? I may have gotten too much of it, but oh well. 

Wait, seriously? Since you got too much, you could just hand some over to me. Cause that'd be the nice thing to do. And you seem like a nice lady.

The health inspector it seems. Don’t you have a favorite food that tastes the best at one specific place?

Nah. I mean. Not really. Food is food. As long as it doesn't taste like shit, I'll pretty much eat anything. The health inspector shut the place down? Yo, if I was you, I wouldn't be so disappointed about not getting food there.

Damn it

What happened? Can't you find some other noodle place?

Really? Wow. You moved in there in like… your post-hardcore thug days too. Can you even imagine how much crazier she’d be if she lived next to the you that lived in that hotel for a while? We certainly haven’t been either of those things lately but clearly she’s the only one who seems to mind. So I don’t see any reason for us to stop on her account. Maybe she just needs to get laid herself, honestly. Know any horny old guys who would want to put up with all of that? Okay fine, you’re right. I guess I wouldn’t want anyone I didn’t know in our place either. Especially with our baby. Just make sure the neighbor lady gives her lots of attention and puts on her puppy sweater before she takes her outside. I don’t want Luna to freeze. Mhm right. You forgot to put it back. I’m sure. And why would your hoody be in my closet anyway? There’s a reason we have separate ones, you know. And when I wear your clothes, I put them back where they belong. Something you apparently still need to work on. Not all the time. But sometimes. It won’t kill you. You know what will kill you though? Eating pizza and chips all the time. I’m trying to keep you from stroking out on me or turning into the 600 lb man once your metabolism slows down. I promise you’ll thank me later. It means you can’t fool me. I’m literally un-foolable by you. And please, if there’s one word that should never be used to describe you, it would be innocent. Hands down. Add chicken wings in there and you’re practically a recipe for the perfect Budweiser commercial. But I’m not getting you beer. You might not have a problem with that, but my girlfriend womanhood has a problem with it. So I’ll think of something else, don’t worry. 

Post hardcore thug days? I'm still thug and hardcore and shit. I just also happen to care very much about having somewhere to live, so I've learned to not let my gangster behavior get out of hand, y'know? Once we find somewhere else to live, I'll go back to my hardcore thug days. First of all, what the fuck makes you think I hang around horny old guys? Second of all, no guy on earth, old or not, would hit that. She's a fucking psychopath. I sense that she has like thirty cats living inside of her apartment. Another reason why I would never send Luna over there. Cats are literally demons. Don't worry, the neighbor's gonna take real good care of Luna. And of course she'll have her sweater on when she goes outside. I'll make a list. We've been over this. Do you know how long it takes to organize clothes and put them up? I don't have time for that. I'm a busy, hardworking man. You realize that I've never weighed more than 150, right? I don't think you gotta worry about me magically gaining 450 pounds overnight. I can so fool you. I can use the word innocent if I really am innocent and don't know what you're talking about. This face? It reeks of innocence. Whatever, babe. Get me what you want for Valentine's Day. It's not even like a real holiday, so it's not that big of a deal. 

I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t take the new Gladiator territory into account when I was showing her the ropes. I fucked up. But Piper is a friend of mine, I sure as shit didn’t intend for any of this to happen. 

Of course you weren't fucking thinking. She could've died. This isn't a fucking game. Territory is territory. And we gave that bit away to save the girls' lives. Do you get that? Do you understand? Because I sure as hell don't think you do.