Untitled...sums up my life

Arthur: *shakes Merlin* Merlin, Merlin wake up!

Merlin: wha- what do you want?

Arthur: did you ever use you magic to cheat at dice?

Merlin: why are you asking? Why does this matter right now? *He rubs his eyes*

Arthur: did you or did you not??

Merlin: yeah yeah, I did, can we go back to sleep now?

Arthur: Who hurt you?

Merlin, joking: Want a list?

Arthur:

leon: can i have twenty fucking seconds of peace please

Leon: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Arthur: It was unbelievable!

Leon: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Gwaine: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Leon, get the wine and unplug the phone. Arthur, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Arthur: Oh, it ended very well.

Leon: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Gwaine: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?

Arthur: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Gwaine: Ohh... So, okay, was he holding you? Or were his hands on your back?

Arthur: First he started out on my waist and then they slid up and then he were in my hair.

Leon and Gwaine: Ohhh.

*meanwhile*

Merlin eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed him.

Morgana: Tongue?

Merlin: Yeah.

Merlin: Uh… yeah?

Arthur: for how long?

Merlin: Since birth.

Arthur: And you’re a dragon lord?

Merlin: Yeah my father was and it gets passed down.

Arthur: Sounds like royalty.

Merlin: No? I don’t think so.

Arthur: Yes it is, that means you’re a noble, a lord. We can get married now.

-  “i had a row…in the shop…with a chip and pin machine.”

- “you had a row with a machine?”