Draft from earlier: traveling. Got food poisoning for the second time in three months and am now bedridden. I’m being cared for but it’s still not fun and I keep asking myself why this happened.
Now, many hours later: I’m still not hyped but I am so glad I have my family with me, they’ve been so kind to me. Genuinely being cared for is always hard for me because I don’t like being helpless and I have a personality that’s always trying to help people. Doing things that make others happy is one of the only things that affirms my own value, even if I know that everyone has inherent value. It’s made me pretty emotional to realize how loved I am even when I’m not doing anything. I hope I’m better tomorrow; I still can’t walk easily because of fluid loss but I’m slowly getting stronger. I hope a good night of sleep will lay some of it to rest.


















