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i loved until it killed me isn't that the whole purpose of living?

#poetry #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled words #love poetry #love #a little life #lockscreen #heartbreak #unrequited love

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there is no drug that can cure me no cure for this disease inside of my body there is no relief for this desire her body intertwined with mine is all that i can forge in this twisted mind her fingertips tracing my chest each nail scratching against her neck i want more and more fullness cannot exist inside of me my body an endless sea holding her body delicately as she sails these treacherous waters J.A.

#poetry #spilled thoughts #spilled words #heartbreak #spilled ink #lockscreen #love poetry #love #a little life

cinnamon girl her lips were bitter freckled by a reflection i do not crave easy nor sweet her smile vibrant yet her chest bellowing for more each imperfection makes my mouth human again this deep affliction that i feel her lips were bitter but they are all ive longed for in each life that i live it is her that i am in search of

#poetry #spilled thoughts #spilled words #lockscreen #heartbreak #spilled ink #a little life #love poetry #love

i have become nothing an ache of what used to be a spark hallowed out veins flowing with the ashes of burnt love each memory of her is a souvenir of all that i used to be i see her in the glow of the city lights in my shadow on the pavement i see her in the brown colour of my eyes in all that my fingertips touch she is my every word i relentlessly dishonour the body's purpose her smoke fills each lung her drugs wrap me up in sweet warmth there is no pain in her there is every pain in me i deteriorate with each breath with each beat without her, i have become nothing.

empty bones (human) // J.A.

on her last day every piece of my existence shattered how could i ever love again each atom in my body grieves for her to love someone so much to give someone all that you have her memory lives through me i fear that there is no life left for me how could there be when she is no longer here to view the same sky.

A Heart of Grief // J.A.

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i shatter each time you walk away i cannot get used to your absence each time breaks another part of me it is dangerous to love you every complexity every tear if only you would stay

Melancholy // J.A.

i grieve her as she is wrapped up in my embrace i scream in agony as she kisses me each morning and every night when i hear her melodies. i shiver at the thought of her absence and i become enraged when i confess my sweet words of love knowing one day she will confess those to another i fall each time selfishly praying to keep her for an eternity.

Lovely Grief // J.A.

I run from the world foolishly believing that it will find a way to save me I run from myself until my bones ache until my heart is stone. I run from love even when my mind aches to be free even when my soul craves to be touched.

untitled // J.A.

“i have given so much of myself

to empty hearts

my tears have been used up

on empty souls

i ache to give her

every joy that exists

my heart thrives

from loving her

but my mind refuses to abandon its cage

i have given

all my soul

to hearts incapable of love

i drown in my own guilt

knowing i am darkness

and she is beauty.”

- Yin & Yang // J.A.

“loving her has never been easy

her dark crevices filled with

the wounds of life

her delicate soul

tinged with sorrow

but loving her,

loving her has made

every flower bloom with such vibrancy

every star shine brighter

and brought color

to such a dull life.

loving her brought me to life

i ache to hear her heavenly laugh

and feel her body intertwined with mine

for eternity.

For me there is no other,

her life was meant for me

as mine was meant for hers.”

- untitled // j.a.

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“You were just supposed to stay. That’s all you had to do. But instead you ran. You ran so far away, I don’t think I can ever reach you again. I loved you once, I think I still do. My heart still bleeds for you, my mind still dreams of you. I would give everything away, just to be able to be able to see you once more. After everything, I just needed you to stay.”

- tell me it’s okay // J.A.

Love.

“After so many years

I have tried to forget her

yet she remains

I can no longer picture her smile

or remember the gentleness of her laugh

I can no longer remember

what i had loved so dearly

only a stranger

wandering aimlessly in my mind

perhaps i never want to forget her

she became a part of me

imprinted in my soul

to forget the love

but never to forget her”

Eternity // J.A.

“I will love you

until the day

the sun is covered from view

until the stars

cease to shine

and the moon falls from the sky

i will love you

through every scar

and every darkness

enveloping us

for my love

time will never destroy

i will love you

for all time

until eternity

comes to an end

Eternity // J.A.

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“for so long

i was surrounded by darkness

i searched for any sign of light

all i needed was one star

but my sky stayed empty

for so long

i shut out every feeling

this pain rooted itself inside me

never giving me the chance to feel joy

i searched for any sign of life left in me

but i had already been drained

i never knew a heart could feel so empty

i never knew a soul could forget how to feel

for so long

i forgot how to love

this pain destroyed every bit of human that was left in me

this pain came to define all that i am

- untitled // J.A.

“They ask me,

explain her

but how can I explain a masterpiece?

how can I explain

that she is the beauty in this world

that she may not be

the most beautiful person in someone else’s eyes

but in mine

she’s all I can see

her eyes

are like paint mixed beautifully on a canvas

her smile

made of the stars

her soul

perfectly crafted by pain and love

it’s hard to explain her

but like I said

how can I explain a masterpiece?”

- Masterpice // J.A.

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