Are you sick of the tired, hackneyed delights of stereotypical pleasure planets? Bored to death of the same pristine beaches and blue lagoons every vacation world seems to offer? The infinite luxuries of tropical paradises got you down?
Why not try something… different?
Spend your next shore leave suffering the miserable drudgeries of Moisenglurk, the galaxy’s premiere displeasure planet. Stroll the goose poop strewn mudflats downstream of the industrial cooling pools. Breathe the sulfurous air of the volcanic mining district. Hike through the manmade forests of Bradford pears or bike along the congested superhighways that are always within earshot. With an average gravity 1.2 times greater than that of Earth, you’re guaranteed to feel the burn.
The wonders of the outdoors not your scene? Moisenglurk boasts a vibrant nightlife of pickpockets, cutthroats, and opportunistic but unimaginative sex pests. Immerse yourself in local hospitality and soon you too will be running on “factory time”—a ruthlessly efficient corporate standard designed to maximize productivity and marked by the discordant blaring of alarms, independent of the natural seasonal cycle or the circadian rhythm.
Should you run into any trouble during your stay, Moisenglurk public officials will be more than happy to relieve you of any remaining valuables.
Moisenglurk: Something different. Something worse.
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