Auds!!

The rain started just after the last bell but not the loud, dramatic kind. Just a soft drizzle that turned the city into something blurry and distant.

You and Juhoon had climbed onto the school rooftop like the two of you always did when neither of you wanted to go home. 

"You know we're probably going to get caught one day."

Juhoon simply shrugged. "Then we'll graduate with a cool story."

The rooftop smelled like wet concrete. Below, the students hurried toward buses with bags over their heads. Their voices dissolve into the rain.

Juhoon sat on the edge and tilted his face toward the cloudy sky.

"You got your phone back from the office?" He asked, looking at you with an expectant face.

You held up the device proudly. "Obviously."

"Good." He held out his hand. "Give me one earbud."

The wire wasn't long enough, so you had to sit beside him. Shoulders almost touching.

Almost.

The music played over the low quality earphones. Hold me down by Daniel Ceaser.

It had a voice filled with longing. The kind of song that always sounded better on rainy afternoons.

"This one's your favorite, right?" He looked down at the almost empty ground as most of the students had already left. 

"Maybe."

"You say that every time."

"If I admit it's my favorite, I'll get tired of it."

"That's not how favorite songs work."

"It is for me."

The rain tapped against the rooftop in a steady rhythm and for a while neither of you spoke. Both of you simply listened until the song ended and the next one began.

Stay Ready by Jhené Aiko.

The only sound that could be heard was the music and the rain. The bustling of students had died down and no one was left at the school. No one except you two.

Juhoon nudged your shoulder slightly.

"What's the one song you'd keep forever?"

You thought for a moment.

"The one I'd keep forever?"

"Yeah."

"If every other song disappeared?"

He nodded.

You stared out at the gray skyline.

"Probably this one."

"The one playing now?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

You listened to Jhené's heavenly vocals wondering what to answer. Kendrick's verse began as you continued to be deep in thought.

“Well?” Juhoon waited patiently for you.

"Because it feels like remembering something before it's gone."

Juhoon looked at you with a strange expression crossing his face.

“What does that mean?”

“Like, the feeling of holding onto those moments, before it leaves your memory and becomes something in the past that no one would know about.” A melancholy like feeling had taken over your mind as you explained. To stay in the present, and appreciate it. That was what kept you going in life rather than stressing about a future that hadn't happened yet. 

"That's kind of sad."

"You asked."

"Fair."

"What about you?"

He leaned back and a few drops of the rain started dripping from his slightly wet hair.

"I'd keep something that resonates with my soul."

“Which is?”

“I don't know.”

"Of course." You shook your head.

"Something that makes you want to get in a car and drive forever."

"You don't even have a driver's license."

"I will."

"You're barely able to ride your bicycle without crashing into me every morning."

"That's not the point." Juhoon smiled seeing you laugh lightly at his words. The smile that always appeared for only a second before disappearing.

Then his head turned back to the vast city in front. The song had changed to Something by The Beatles.

"Where do you think you'll be in ten years?"

The question lingered in your mind.

Ten years.

It sounded impossible.

"I don't know."

"You have to answer."

"You first. It's only fair if you do."

Juhoon groaned dramatically. "Fine."

He rested his elbows on his knees. The rain had softened even more to the point that no one would even suspect it was raining anymore.

"In ten years..."

He paused, making a picture in his mind.

"I'll probably live in an apartment."

"Very ambitious."

"Wait."

"I'm listening."

"I'll have two turtles and a dog."

“Why two turtles?”

“Cause I already have them.”

“Oh. Right.”

"And maybe I'll make music."

"Maybe?"

"Maybe."

"You always say maybe when you mean yes."

"Maybe means it's scary."

His answer surprised you. Because Juhoon never admitted when things scared him. 

Not exams.

Not fights.

Not anything.

And the sudden talk about music felt out of nowhere. He always made it seem like he only wanted a future where he studied properly.

You looked towards the sky as the sun started to show itself slowly through the clouds. 

"What if you're famous?"

"Aren't famous people miserable?"

"Most artists are." You said as a matter of fact.

"Exactly."

You nudged his shoulder this time.

"I think you'd be good at it."

For a second he didn't respond.

Then quietly, with a small smile on his face, he spoke. 

"Thanks."

The rain continued to drizzle the two of you even though the sun had started showing up. It was slow and patient like it had nowhere else to be. The playlist slowly transitioned itself onto the next song without either of you even noticing. How many miles by Mk.gee

"It's your turn to answer now." He turned his head towards you. 

You wrapped your arms around your knees.

"I think..."

You tried to picture yourself in ten years in your mind. It was hard since you weren't even sure if you'd live till then. 

"I want to live somewhere near the ocean." You searched for the right words to explain yourself. "A place where I can hear waves at night."

Juhoon nodded. "I get that."

"And maybe I'll write."

"You already write."

"Not like small things.”

“Then what?”

A small pause before you answered. 

"Real things."

"Books?"

"Maybe."

"See? You said maybe."

You groaned. "Fine. Books."

"There we go."

The sky was still cloudy as the sun which had slowly appeared went back into hiding.

"What country will you never visit?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"That's such a random question. Isn't it usually what country you would visit?"

"Answer."

"Hmm."

"Thinking too hard."

"I'm trying."

"You'll end up saying Antarctica."

"That's not a country."

"Oh."

You snorted. This was the same guy who was always among the top students of his class.

"Maybe somewhere too crowded."

"Interesting."

Neither of you cared about the lightly soaked uniforms you were in right now. The only thing that moment offered was the conversations that went back and forth and a melody in the background that would be etched into your minds. 

Without realising, you were living in the moment that would become one of the details you'd remembered the most in the future. The sky grew darker and the songs kept playing. Eventually as time passed by, the playlist looped back to the beginning.

Juhoon listened to the familiar opening notes.

Then he said something unexpected.

"Do you think we'll still know each other in ten years?"

The question landed softly like the rain.

You turned toward him but he wasn't looking at you.

You should have answered immediately. Instead you stared at the puddles beneath. 

"I think so."

"You think so?"

"You said maybe means it's scary."

"Fair enough." He smiled.

The songs continued.

And somehow that slow afternoon ended the way all afternoons end.

Without any warning and without anyone's permission.

One day it was happening.

And the next it was a memory.

Years later.

The world looked different from what it used to be. 

The school rooftop felt smaller when you visited after graduation reunions.

The city seemed different too, like it had become taller, faster and less patient. 

You were twenty six when the memory returned completely.

It happened during another rainy afternoon.

You were sitting alone by a window where the ocean waves were audible somewhere in the distance just like you'd once imagined.

A song started playing from the café speaker.

An old song. One from that rooftop playlist. The melodies sparked something in your brain. Something that it had locked away for a long time resurfaced itself. 

You remembered every word.

The way rainwater clung to his eyelashes.

The way he always looked away when conversations became too honest.

The way he said maybe. As if dreams became less frightening when disguised as possibilities.

Outside your window, people hurried beneath their umbrellas. The same way students once ran carrying their bags on their heads.

For a moment, sixteen and twenty six existed together.

You could almost hear him again.

"Where do you think you'll be in ten years?"

Back then, neither of you knew. Neither of you could have known how some dreams would come true and how others wouldn't.

How people drift apart, not because they want to, but because life keeps moving on.

How your memory chooses strange things to preserve.

Not birthdays.

Not exam scores.

Just a rainy rooftop with shared earphones, a favorite playlist and a conversation about the future.

The song in the café ended. The room became quiet again for a few seconds until the next song was up. Lullaby by Cortis.

A small smile crept onto your face as you heard Juhoon's voice through the speaker. 

Your mind takes you back to your high school graduation day. 

Everyone was busy saying their goodbyes and taking photos to remember each other by. You looked around to find Juhoon, holding tightly onto the camera in your hand. 

You went around talking to all your friends, and yet, no sign of the person your mind was desperately looking for. 

After walking around for a good amount of time you finally found him, surrounded by people like usual. He was everyone's favourite after all. Hesitantly, you moved away and waited near a wall until the crowd left him alone. 

Luckily enough, he saw you among the sea of people and made his way through them. 

You watched as he approached you and it was as if you both were the only people in that moment. Just like those days at the rooftop, where it would be just the two of you and students bustling beneath would be forgotten. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

He looked down at the camera in your hand. But instead of asking whether to take a photo, he seemed to have a weird expression on his face. One that resembled guilt, oddly enough. 

“I'm going to become a trainee at Hybe.”

The world around you stopped the moment those words left his mouth.

‘Trainee?’

He could read right through you like an open book.

“I'm sorry I didn't mention this before. I just…”

He was nervous. Nervous of what held for him in the future and how you'd react to all this being suddenly dumped on you.

“You'll be an idol?” 

“Seems like it, yeah.”

When he said he wanted to make music you never thought it would mean he'd become an idol. Someone who had to live up to the gruesome high expectations of society. 

You looked at him, his eyes. You didn't know exactly what to say, what were the right words to someone who you might be seeing the last time? This isn't what school taught you and it's not something anyone would ever teach you.

Things like these came from experience and this would be your first one. It didn't matter whether your response was right or wrong, what mattered was to show your support to him. To let him know, he'll be fine.

“Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

And that was the last time you'd see him smile in front of you. Perhaps even the last you'd ever see him.

You were supposed to be happy for him but somewhere inside of you, whatever it was that was tugging at your heart, wouldn't let you. All you could do was smile back at him that day.

You looked out at the ocean. A smile appeared before you realized it.

Because after all those years, one thing remained unchanged.

You still remembered the exact answer he'd given when you asked what song he'd keep forever.

Something that resonates with his soul.

Something that made him want to get in a car and drive forever.

The rain continued falling outside. Blue in the way old memories are blue. Not because they were sad but because they're too beautiful to return to. It was something that had been meant for that moment only. Not something you could relive again. 

Somewhere beyond the rain and years and distance, a sixteen year old boy was still sitting on a rooftop.

Sharing one earbud and talking about the future.

Completely unaware that someone would remember every word.

a/n : finally juhoon is on the nasterlist 🥹❤️‍🩹 tumblr was ragebaiting me bynot letting me save my drafts istg. It's 12 am hereand I gotta sleep soon😮‍💨 I hope I wake up to some good notifications?🙈🙈👀👀 also am practicing how to write angst and decided to start off lightly like with this one (preparing a long James fic 🤭) and yes, this ficis very similar to my most popular Sean fic cuz am lowkey #attentionwhore 😝🤞 I hope you guys loved this 🥹✌️ if you couldn't tel, yes love music a lot and will always incorporate them into my writings lol.