my love carries a death sentence

“I’ll be okay. I’m strong” he said with a small smirk, giving her another quick kiss. As they drove, Javier was focused on the road ahead, knowing there was still a long way till they could stop and sleep. He felt energized, mostly because of the sleep he got on the way, but also the two redbulls he had bee chugging since the gas station. When Aubree explained herself, Javier just took in a deep breath, obviously still affected by what they had both been through. “We were both hurting…it’s okay for you to care for yourself. I understand” he told her before reaching over blindly for her hand. “This is why we’re doing this together. So we can mend ourselves as people and as us…together” he said kissing the back of her hand sweetly. Javier kept driving while she asked, having already thought about what they’d do while there. “I thought we can just sleep there and head out in the morning to New Orleans. And that’s where we’ll make our first official stop. It’s only a 3 hour drive from Pensacola. We can get there around noon and have the rest of the day in The Big Easy. Maybe visit Bourbon Street and get one of those Daiquiris and see the French Quarter” he suggested, having googled before hand. 

Aubree reached her hand out to meet his, her thumb grazing against the back of his hand. “I think that sounds like a pretty good plan,” she agreed, thinking about his words. They did need to work on things. They needed to work on a lot of things. “Can we go on a haunted tour? I bet that would be fun.” She’d definitely get scared if they did, but it was all in good fun and she had a pretty good bodyguard beside her so she’d manage. “And there is supposed to be a really rich art community in the French Quarter...” She trailed off, trying to recall more of the information she’d learned about New Orleans that had been shoved away because she didn’t use the knowledge. “Then you can get me drunk and probably convince me to do some things I wouldn’t do if I were sober.”

Javier was putting gas in the truck, keeping his eyes and ears open since it was around 10 now and he wasn’t exactly trusting of new places. He finished up topping off the gas, putting the handle back before walking over to Aubree. “If you need it…” he said softly, leaning in to kiss her, feeling the energy drain instantly once their lips touched. Of course this lead to his hands wandering, running over her rear, pulling her closer to him. Javier had trouble stopping, but eventually he pulled away, eyes glowing red. “Good?” he asked her as he looked at her and her eyes bright blue. Once they were settled back into the truck, Javier pushed the seat back a little, stretching out his legs while he put the new route into his phone and put it on the phone holder. “Alright so…it’s saying it’s only a 4 hour drive instead of a 5 hour like it said when we left so…just gotta power through these and we’ll probably get there around 2 in the morning….” Javier explained before hearing the roar of the engine. 

“It wasn’t too much, was it?” she asked, her face still close to his. “If you get drowsy I can take over again.” Aubree got into the truck and buckled up, reenergized with the kiss he had given her. She watched the lights on the express way as they drove passed them, doing her best to keep her mind off of the problems they had been having. “Jav? I’m not going to bring the mood down for long but I need to apologize for being a shitty girlfriend. I wasn’t...I couldn’t consider what you’d been through because what I did has been so heavy on my mind. I’m not going to let it happen anymore. If I start to, call me out.” She turned so that most of her back was against her door and looked at him. “Okay. Good moods now. What do you want to talk about?” She asked, pulling at her shorts where they were riding up. “And what are we going to do in Pensacola?” She pulled out her phone and did a quick google search. “Beach? Go-karts? Museums? Or just like sleeping and hitting the road?”

“Trying is good” he let her know, wrapping his arms around her lovingly. “First, we’ll drive down to Jacksonville, then from there probably switch drivers and drive to Pensacola and that’s our first stop” he told her as he had set the route into his phone. “You can drive first, I’ll drive second since that’s the night shift” he said with a small smile, checking all the windows and lights, making sure everything was secure before they headed out. 

It hadn’t taken Aubree long to reach over and grab Javier’s hand. He had been silent since they had left and it was weird to her that he wasn’t excited and talking her ear off. Their whole supernatural situation had taken away the fun that they had had before and turned it into something that made them nervous and withdrawn. Despite the guilt still weighing on her, she couldn’t be that person anymore. She missed playing with Javier, making him laugh and laughing back at him. So she held his hand while she drove, using the heat he was sharing as a reminder of all of the good things that she was forcing herself to ignore. Even as he slept, she held his hand tightly.

“One pair of each? You might not need heels at all to be honest…I’m just taking two pairs of shoes and one pair of flip flops” he told her before heading back into the living room. “Daddy loves you. Be good okay?” he told the dog who was whining loudly, nuzzling into Javier’s neck. “I know bud, don’t worry, we’ll be back” he told him before Javier’s grandma led Boner out to the car. “Because he basically is our child…that big baby” he said to her before grabbing her bags and his, walking out to the truck. He had a camper shell installed that day and it looked nice on his truck. “Looks nice right? It has the nice screen windows so we can sleep in the back and stuff, enjoy the night” he explained while he placed everything in the back. Javier kept loading stuff up, looking around as he did, still feeling paranoid that someone knew about everything that had happened. Once he finished, we walked back inside to Aubree. “Ready?” he asked her, standing close to her. “You tell me if you don’t wanna do this right? I know it’s crazy…I just feel like this is something we need to do. For us. Individually and as a couple” he told her. 

Aubree swallowed thickly as they got ready to leave, already feeling the loss of the dog that had all too often been their emissary as of late. “We’re already committed,” she said with a nod, nervously twirling her hair around her finger. “And I trust you. If you think this will help, well...then I’m willing to give it a try.” She stepped forward and rested her forehead against his shoulder. It was going to be a bumpy ride for sure, but Javier had never done anything to steer her away from trusting him. “So...where to first?”

“I’ve seen you naked. I think that trumps a bikini” he stated firmly. When he finished up and she brought over his bathroom stuff, he turned only to find her pulling her dress off. His eyes flashed red before going back to their normal chocolate color. “You don’t need to tell me twice…” he commented as his eyes went straight to her ass before turning back to his bag to zip it up. “Uh…in about an hour. My grandma’s coming to pick boner up. She said she’d be here soon” he told her as he carried their bags to the front door and out into the truck. “I got the camper shell on the truck so at least if we both feel tired we can sleep back there…I’ll put some extra blankets and pillows in there too” he remembered as he walked their things to the back of the truck. It didn’t take long for his grandma to get there, she gave them her blessings and wished them well travels before she left. Boner of course whined and tried to hide behind Javier to keep from going but he eventually left after giving both Jav and Aubree some kisses. 

“Wait, how many pairs of shoes am I allowed?” She held up a few pairs of heels, frowning. “I need heels, flip flops, maybe sneakers...” she made a face, then shoved her flip flops and two pairs of heels into her bag before he could give her an answer. “I’ll have you know that I can’t even recall the last time I wore sneakers?” she told him, sitting on the bed to put socks on and then pulling her sneakers on over them. When they were on, she stood up and frowned at their height difference. She zipped her bag up with a sigh and then headed in to the living room to sit on the floor with Boner, petting him and playing with them before they parted ways. After making polite conversation with his grandma, Aubree gave Boner ample kisses on his little head and then watched him leave. “Jav, why do I feel like we’re sending our child off to kindergarten?”

“I don’t know if I’m exactly the best judge…If it were me you’d just go around in bikini’s all day. Possibly short skirts and bikini tops” he shrugged because at least he was being honest about it. “But…I like these two” he said picking the white one and a light colored floral print dress. It wasn’t like any of her dresses and skirts when anywhere lower than mid thigh anyway. Javier walked over, picking out a few other things he always liked on her, noticing how she was grabbing underwear out of the drawer. A smirk spread on his face but he decided not to say anything, knowing they hadn’t exactly been as sexual as usual since everything happened, just enough to keep Aubree in a normal energy zone. He went over to his sock and underwear drawer, just grabbing handfulls at a time and stuffing them in his duffle. “Baby boy! Come ‘ere Boner” he called for his dog, hearing him run up to him with his tail wagging. “you’re gonna go to abuela’s for the next couple weeks so bring your favorite bone and your toy and leash yeah?” he asked, Boner just nodding and barking once before going back to his little area in the living room. “ Bree…can you grab me my bathroom stuff please?” he asked her kindly while he folded up some jeans and sweatpants to pack. 

Aubree snorted at his words, folding up the clothes that he’d picked out and adding them to her luggage. She remembered to grab her swimsuits only because Javier had reminded her and made sure to grab his as well. “You’ve never even seen me in a bikini. I’m a pale, fragile baby and bikinis don’t offer the same support that regular bras do.” Patting Boner as he came in, she smiled at their exchange and laughed a little at the obvious excitation in Boner’s run as he went to fetch his things. She went into the bathroom and grabbed everything that the two of them would need, stacking it all up in her arms and then dropping it onto the bed. Grabbing baggies that they could put things in, she started sorting it out and separating everything into his and hers piles. Going to the closet, she started to reach for a hoodie of her own but then rethought her decision, pulling her hand away from her own hoodie and grabbing one of his instead before putting it in her suitcase, a mischievous smile on her face. “I’m gonna miss Boner,” she said with a small pout, pulling her dress off and changing into a pair of shorts and one of Javier’s shirts. “I feel like I need to be in comfier clothes than that dress,” she explained, taking some clothes out of his bag and refolding them for him. “And these shorts do great things for my ass,” she said lightly, trying to feel more like herself than she had been. “So when are we shipping out?”

“I’ll pack for myself thanks” he said to her before she kissed him. He kissed back, even if the kiss itself was quick. “You don’t have to thank me…” he whispered lightly as he leaned forward to put his forehead against hers. “I want things to get better for us….between us…” he said as his hands found hers. “I want to let go…of everything” he noted, knowing that Aubree knew exactly what he meant. They were still broken. Functioning, but broken. And Javier knew they just had to have time alone in new places to find themselves again. “Go pack…I’ll be in there in a second” he said before kissing her again quickly, turning to go back to what he was doing. A few minutes later, he walked into their bedroom, grabbing a big duffle bag from under his bed. Javier was quiet, just packing all the clothes and things he would need on the trip, not bothering Aubree while she packed her own things. 

Aubree smiled, knocking her hand against his as she walked into the bedroom to start packing. It was easy enough to pack her toiletries, but she struggled when it came to picking out the clothes that she was going to pack. Laying out a few outfits onto the bed, she looked at Javier as he started packing. “Help me pack?” she asked softly, her gaze flitting up from his hands to his eyes. “I’ve never done anything like this before. I never really got to go on trips or anything growing up...side effect of making all of your friends sick every time you come over, I guess.” She shrugged and started grabbing things out of her underwear drawer and neatly packing them into the sides of her suitcase.

“Well two weeks give or take…I mean if we drove straight one way it’s like…60 hours or something. We’ll be back in less than a month that’s for sure. You don’t have to worry about it not being fullfilling because I mean we’re just…getting away fora  while” he told her as he held on to her hands to reassure her. “Pack what you want, it’s going into fall now so just back a mix for heat and for cold. I gotta pack too. And you don’t have to bring a lot or anything, we can always stop at a laundromat to wash clothes if we need them” he told her as he started to unpack the bags of snacks and waters to put them into more organized bags for them. 

“So you mean bring my dresses and my shorts? Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but aside from those I only own two pairs of leggings and I think one pair of jeans. I think.” She raised one eyebrow and watched him start to organize. “And if you want, I can pack for you. Packing for you will be easier than packing for myself.” Hesitating for only a few moments, Aubree grabbed Javier’s hand and pulled him close to her, raising herself onto her tiptoes just enough to kiss him once, lightly. She hadn’t been showing him affection a lot lately, but the fact that he was taking initiative to try and fix them brought back  a taste of the rush of love that she had grown attached to in their time together. “Thank you,” she murmured, a small smile on her lips.

“Boner’s gonna be staying with my grandmas. He’ll be fine, I’ve talked to him about it” he said looking over at Boner who just huffed as if he understood completely. “Track us?” he said curtly giving her a look. “Baby…If all goes to plan, we’ll only be gone for about two weeks. It’s not like we’re gonna uproot our lives and move to California. We’re not going on the lamb…jesus” he said shaking his head with a smirk. “We’re not Bonnie Clyde-ing this okay? This is just like…an adventure. We’re… Little Miss Sunshine-ing it” he said trying to remember a road trip movie that wasn’t violent. 

“A road trip like that is only going to take us two weeks?” She furrowed her brows, one hand on her hip. “It just...doesn’t seem like it would be fulfilling?” Aubree felt stupid, for sure, but she hadn’t been sure. She was still very nervous about what had happened with the pizza man - she couldn’t be sure if she was going to be arrested or if the man was looking for revenge...it was something that she couldn’t get passed, no matter what she tried. Everything reminded her of it and made her feel like she was going to be stuck wondering which day was going to be the day that she finally went overboard and did the unforgivable. “Just...tell me what to pack, Jav. Then give me about an hour to make us some real food to last for a bit before we leave. Deal?”

“California. But I’ve already planned his out. I’ve planned the route, and you can look up cool places to stop or whatever” he told her as he looked over all the stuff he had bought. “We’re passing through Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada. and then California. On the way back, we’re hitting up Utah, Colorado, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Jersey, D.C. Virgina, The Carolinas,  and straight on back home” he said as he showed her the map of the states they were going through. He guided his fingers along the highlighted areas. “We’re going whether you got school or not, and I have a lot of extra cash that I’ve had saved up that we can use. We need this. You know we do” he said to her seriously. 

“You’re ready to just up and leave? Just like that? What about Boner? He’s going to hate sitting in a car all day...and it’ll be uncomfortable for all of us...” Aubree was struggling to see how they would make it work. It was scary, imagining packing up and just leaving town for months, with no real plans. “I can’t just leave school, can I? And if we use my bank account, we’ll have a steady source of money but people will be able to track us. Does that matter?” She bit her bottom lip, but still stepped closer to him and rested her hand on his. “But I trust you, so...tell me what I need to pack.”

Javier was catching his breath, his body already healing itself from all that Aubree took. His eyes were blood red, claws extended at his sides while Aubree spoke. “You didn’t do anything wrong Aubree…You were trying to survive…that’s…that’s different” he said to her softly, his claws now disappearing while she touched his arm. “We’ll think of something…to heal. Both of us” he said to her as he pushed her hair back, leaning in to give her a much softer and more tender kiss.

Aubree looked at the load that Javier had just set down and raised her eyebrow. “We are?” she asked, her tone dry. “Where exactly are we going?” She stood and looked at the maps that he had in his hands, eyebrow still raised. “Nevada? Idaho? What are we doing, trying to win big at blackjack so we can buy homegrown potatoes?” Rolling her eyes, she set the maps down and looked through his bag. “You do realize that we can’t live off of junk food, right? You may have a magical werewolf metabolism, but I don’t...and I’m not peeing on the side of the road.” More seriously, she looked at him, her brows furrowed. “What about your job? My school? What money are we using to live on?”

“No you don’t…don’t say that…” he said as he leaned back, the cold tile against his back as he let her straddle his waist. He had missed her lips against his, his fingertips pressing against the back of her thighs, pulling her in closer. The kiss was heated, and her eyes barely flickered their bright blue while his were a glowing deep red. He looked up at her as she pulled away by pushing up on his chest. “…You need more…I-I want more…” he told her as he sat up to meet her. “Take everything…” he told her as he started to kiss down her neck, trying his best to seduce her into feeding like she did before their falls from grace. “I need you…like you need me…” he said as he sucked lightly against one of the spots he knew were sensitive against her neck. 

Breathing shallowly for a entirely different reason that she had been earlier, Aubree tilted her head to give him access and then gave him only moments to dominate the kiss before a switch flipped inside of her and she took control.

Feeling the tingle of his skin touching hers brought Aubree’s attention back to the real world and not the dark world inside of her mind. Digging her fingers in further, she shook her head. It was the same argument every time. He wanted her to fight and she wasn’t sure she could forgive herself enough to. She looked at him for the first time in days, her weary eyes locked on his. “I can’t,” she told him simply, her voice sounding incredibly loud in her ears. “I don’t want to.”

“You have to” he told her as he used his strength to pull her hands off her forearms. “You have to. Or you’ll die” he said honestly, kneeling in front of her now, putting her hands onto his chest. “It’s a full moon tonight. I can handle whatever you take from me. I’m stronger now…” he told her as he felt her fingertips automatically press against the flesh of his chest. “You need to feed, and I am submitting to you…” he said as he leaned in closer to her, his voice low and soft. 

Feeling the tingle of his skin touching hers brought Aubree’s attention back to the real world and not the dark world inside of her mind. Digging her fingers in further, she shook her head. It was the same argument every time. He wanted her to fight and she wasn’t sure she could forgive herself enough to. She looked at him for the first time in days, her weary eyes locked on his. “I can’t,” she told him simply, her voice sounding incredibly loud in her ears. “I don’t want to.”

“I-I’m sorry…” he stuttered, backing away from her as well, feeling as if he hurt her or something. The rest of the night, he gave her some space, but always keeping an ear out to where she was or if she was going to run. Javier understood how she felt, even if it was a different situation, he understood the pain. He could sense it, the guilt, it was spilling out from her pores and radiating around her. Boner of course walked into the bedroom after her, whining and nudging her with his nose before he hopped up on the bed, placing his head in her lap as a form of some comfort. Javier stayed out in the living room for the night, thinking maybe he should sleep on the couch if she wanted to be alone. 

Aubree didn’t sleep that night. She laid in bed and let her thoughts race and bounce off of each other against the walls of her mind. When Boner tugged at her as an indication that he wanted out, she looked at him and let him lead her to the door. Once she had let him out, she took a cold, quick shower and then went out to the living room, shaking Javier awake. “Go sleep in your bed,” she said softly, waiting for him to move before sitting on the couch, her body curled in to itself. Letting her mind blank out again, she sat, unmoving.

“You didn’t do it out of spite…or out of malevolence…I only…” he couldn’t bring himself to say the word again, stopping short and placing his arms around her, holding her close. “You did what you had to under circumstance…and we’re together now…and no one will come for you…I promise to protect you…” he told her softly, stroking her hair as he embraced her. 

“Something took control of me and made me feed. I can’t blame anyone but myself. I’m weak and I can’t stop this...this hunger.” She tugged herself out of his embrace and moved away from him just enough to keep the warmth of his skin out of her range. “I can’t...please don’t touch me right now. I’m not ready for that. I need time to...I need time.” Aubree stood and walked away, sitting on the edge of their bed and wondering how many people she would seriously harm to satiate the hunger she had within her.