Also, through their grimdark training (plus years of compacted trauma), they're the only ones able to perceive the massive, horrifying inequalities in the cuddles and smile dimension.
"Wait, how long has King Sunshine ruled? How long does his species usually have? You... you have a "hug festival" every year, where everyone donates their hugs, because they love him? What the fuck. What the fuck."
"So the Lump-Rock Bugs work in the quarries and mines and sing about it, apparently. Has anyone actually noted the lyrics? The whole 'work all day, work all night, work in the dark, work in the light, work with our hands and our feetses too, there's nothing Lump-Rock Bugs won't do' thing? Has anyone ever... oh, they just love work? They want to do it because that's what they're for? No one ever looked at this critically? No one?"
"So I noticed that No-Fun Nora wasn't at the jelly-jam jamboree last night. Is she okay? Oh shit, really? What's the diagnosis? Wait, hang on, not wanting to be touched is considered a mental disorder here? What's the treatment? Hug therapy?! Where the fuck'd I leave my thieves' tools."
"So, funny story. I woke up today to find just a full-ass dude in my kitchen. Turns out the Dirty Word Detectives can just do that, y'now, let themselves into your house if they suspect you've been saying fuckwords. Also go through your mail. And no one thinks that's weird. So, y'now. Something to think about."
"Did any of you just have any weird dreams? Reminding you the hug festival was coming up? Yeah, so apparently there's a dream wizard who makes sure everyone has good dreams. Also apparently, he receives two chests of golden fairy apples from King Sunshine before every hug festival. And I know his f---ing address."
"So it took me a while to dig up - the librarian kept bursting into song about how 'you've got friends at the library' or something - but the only legal successor to King Sunshine was Princess Marmalade, and she was married off to Prince Starlight about seven years ago. Except I compared the dates and, apparently, she was 13 years old at the time. She stopped sending letters two years ago because she was 'too busy being in love'. Gas up the Teleportation Circle, we can't let this sit."
kianamaiart
gracieabrams
blakekathryn
izzy806
