Atypical Andy

Nothing eventful to report! It has been smooth sailing this patch change. I almost forgot to put the new one on but I didn’t. It’s easy to forget about which is perfect for me.

Today I conquered my fear and got my first Pap smear. Not only that but I got a trans-vaginal ultrasound. (Oh what fun!)

First: Trans-vaginal Ultrasound.

Oh my gosh it was so cool! I got to see those little demonic ovaries. The good news is my doc said I looked in excellent health down there to which I said “yay!” And she said “Yes, but also not yay because now we don’t know why you are so irregular”.

Anyway here is the process of that:

You go in the room and you see ultrasound equipment like what they use on your belly for pregnancy and other stomach concerns.

My nurse gave me a white sheet and told me to undress from the waist down after going to empty my bladder. (I skipped that step because I just went at home).

She left I undressed and sat on the table. She came back in and started telling me to scoot my butt to the end of a table like a pap, which I then said I have never had a pap and she was super nice, telling me she’d explain everything as she was doing it.

So she whips out this long skinny stick and shows me where the camera is which I think is so cool! Then she lubed it all up.

She went in and I couldn’t feel it until she said “You’re going to feel pressure as I start pushing on the cervix”

And wow that is such a strange feeling, feels like a pinch but inside my body.

She told me how this would help determine what was wrong if I had a thickened endometrial lining or cysts on my ovaries.

When she took pictures of my ovaries I had to help and apply slight pressure to get them to move a bit. Which made me think

“Wow all those times I was pushing on my ovaries to ease the cramps, I was actually moving them. Neat”

It took a little over 5 minutes and then it was done. She gave me a wet wipe and told me to change and wait for my Dr. to do the pap and go over my results. BRING MORE WETWIPES (the lube is annoying and they applied more than a generous share)

PAP:

They weighed me again and sent me back to My ObGYN. The nurse came in asked me about my last period (I said “well the dr sent me home with some pills to induce it so it was just this Tuesday. Before that 4 months ago”) and she told me to strip and gave me another white sheet and this time a poncho to put on.

The dr came in and gave me the all clear on my ultrasound. Then she asked about how the patch was going (I’ll mention that last). I told her so far so good and she said that was a good sign. She then told me it was time. Put my legs in the stirrups and scooted my butt to the edge. She called the nurse in and said “she won’t be looking just me” and I laughed a little.

You should know I was very nervous from all the horror stories you read about paps, however it was so so easy. It didn’t hurt at all. She made a joke about how luby I was already and proceeded to squirt more onto the plastic speculum. She showed me how far it was going to open which is nowhere what you are thinking it’s only like an inch maybe a bit more. Then she took her tools and took the samples and it was done, it felt like a very tiny pinch. We scheduled my next appointment for next year and a three month check up on the BC.

Patch Update:

I haven’t had any weird symptoms on the patch. In fact, I think it’s because I have an estrogen deficiency. (I lacked energy and not much of a sex drive) now since the patch is full of that I do feel more energized, smiley, and ready to rumble. It also eased my monster periods. Instead of being in misery and popping Midol like tic tacs, I only used one Midol the entire period. I only had SLIGHT back and muscle pain one night when I usually have it multiple nights. The flow was also so much lighter and I didn’t have to worry about bleeding through tampons. Heck of a plus.

As I write this right now, I am experiencing some slight abnormal pain in my arm. My mind is instantly “What if it’s a blood clot?!” It started in the crook of my elbow but now it’s radiated to my wrist so I’m hoping I just sprained a muscle or something. My arm and legs sometime tingle like I can feel my blood flowing or something. My blood pressure is spectacular so I believe I’m fine. I haven’t felt this before I started bc it’s odd. Also, my boyfriend has noticed instead of me being cold when we go to bed I’m warm. I feel just fine but he swears I’m burning up. My hands do seem warmer.

I wanted to start posting about my experience on BC and the other scary things about womanhood.

I am 23 and had my first OBGYN appointment the other day. (Crazy I know).

What could be crazier than that?

My periods themselves. I sometimes go 4 months without a period. (Holy cow, that’s amazing right?) Well it used to be. I always thought I’d never want regular periods because I wasn’t concerned about that being a a sign of infertility. However, I have met the guy that changed my views on kids; I really want to have kids now, more specifically his kids.

For awhile my periods seemed to be regulating to about 45 day cycles, that was until this last one where it was over 4 months. I decided it was time to make sure everything was working down there.

You might say “Irregular periods doesn’t equal infertility” and you’re right, in most cases they don’t. Unless, you have a not so great family history. My mother has a history of Ovarian cysts or she did until she had to have them removed. So that just added to my concern, her periods used to be sporadic but they were always early and mine always super late (half a year once).

Anyway, here is the main thing I wanted to talk about: how scary birth control is!

Before my appointment, I was researching BC (except the patch because I did not know that was a thing) and the side effects and serious side effects made me worry about what I would be pumping into my body everyday. I wanted to be prepared for when my doctor and I talked about contraceptives. At my appointment she was very lax about the whole thing, “Everything has its risks of course, so I have to inform you about all of the serious side effects” and you know it was the basic “increased risk of stroke, heart attack, and etc.” So I told her I was very interested in the patch because you stick it on your body and forget it for a week. How cool! So excitedly, she tells me she can get me 3months worth that day! I’m a little excited because I won’t have to worry about pregnancy and I’ve heard that BC could stop my painful periods and lessen symptoms. Sign me up!

I’ve heard the stories about weight gain, acne, and diminished sex drive. So I was of course worried, I decided to look up reviews of the Xulane patch and I was instantly scared. Many reviews were so harsh and it made me instantly worried if I made a mistake. Something my Dr. did not inform me is that the patch increases your risk of all the aforementioned side effects to 2x that of the pill. However, you’re still at less risk than a pregnant lady for those things which made me relax a little and then worry about being pregnant whenever that time comes.

I know this post has dragged on so I’m going to wrap it up. I’m going to post about my experience on BC. I’ll be as detailed as possible and list the positive and negatives side effects to the patch. Posting photos of weight gain/loss or increased acne if I notice anything. If the patch isn’t for me I will continue to update you as I try new forms of contraception. Also, my visits to the lady doc. 🤞🏻

My period started today after the doc gave me progesterone for 5 nights so today is my first patch day.

Patch day 1:

Location: Right buttock

How do I feel: Little light headed not queasy at all. Sore muscles. (Not sure if that is relevant). I think this is because I was in a weird position last night to stop my aching legs (sign of oncoming period)

Positives: Haven’t felt any cramps or experienced back pain today. Which is crazy I always cramp like hell the first day and ALWAYS want to rip my spine out.

Cons: Nothing yet.

Of course it’s just the first day so we will see! Stay tuned for the next patch update and doctor update.

Next OBGYN: 4/22/19