I can’t believe everyone on Team Attic wants to find a body in their ceiling
Well I’d like to be sure it’s where I left it
One body, alive or dead, is far easier to remove than 1000 cockroaches.
hopefully alive, please
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@atticperson
I can’t believe everyone on Team Attic wants to find a body in their ceiling
Well I’d like to be sure it’s where I left it
One body, alive or dead, is far easier to remove than 1000 cockroaches.
hopefully alive, please

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Interviewer:so tell me Jack, where were you born?
Jack:Canada
Interviewer:Which part?
Jack:My entire body
Bitty: I love how we injure ourselves so often that Lardo believes we need 1000 bandages of varying sizes.
Tango: Um. I cut myself on the blender?
Bitty: Crap. How did you ev- Okay, clearly Lardo should have sprung for sutures and first aid training for everyone. Someone disinfect that blender. Jeez, do I need to take you to the ER?
I dont know how but bitty orchestrated the outcome of that toss
look at this face
does it look surprised to you?
DOES IT??????
they interrupted his video
he’s acting so inconspicuous like he just nonchalantly has this great idea
here he is using his evil pie demon mind powers on the coin:
SOLOMON HIMSELF COULD NOT HAVE THOUGHT A SOLUTION MORE WISE!!! HE’S?????
SO PROUD OF HIMSELF?
HMMM BACK TO JAMS AND JAM ACCESSORIES
The fact that Chowder will wear braces for several years and someone paid thousands of dollars to get his teeth straight, and the fact that he plays a sport where people shoot pucks a his face, stresses me a lot.

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so i know that theres been some discussion on how the fandom treats nursey vs. how it treats dex, but can we also talk about how nursey gets treated vs. how shitty is treated? bc i think a lot of time nursey is treated as the “privileged rich liberal whose out of touch w/the reality of being oppressed” and shitty is treated as “actual good ally but maybe annoying occasionally but in a good way” which is very telling…
This is interesting. Let’s talk about it.
Thing/Idea 1: Nursey gets talked about way, way more than Shitty by the fandom, which by extension means they’ll talk more about him vis-a-vis privilege.
Whether this is because people like Nursey more or because we are in a crash-course with the #nurseydex singularity, I can’t tell. I don’t know how to disassemble tumblr tags into data, but I can definitely mine some stats from AO3 and trawl through a couple pages of sort-by-kudos.
So here’s some fic counts, by character/relationship, as of April 2017:
Dex/Nursey at 966 fics
Shitty/Lardo at 380 fics
Nursey character tag at 1300 fics
Shitty character tag at 1376 fics
As you might expect, Dex/Nursey is a popular pairing, with over twice the fic count! You might be wondering why Shitty’s tagged more than Nurse overall, but (a) Shitty was introduced at least a full year earlier than Nursey, and (b) Shitty gets tagged a lot as a side character in fics. In the first five pages of Shitty’s sort-by-kudos, he’s typically the 3rd-8th tag. There aren’t many/any “solo adventures with Shitty” fics - he’s typically a tool to help Jack along his journey around his anxiety and/or into Bitty’s heart. We’re not following Shitty’s point of view very often. But there’s plenty of fics that follow Nurse from sort-by-kudos page one (though mostly in the Nursey/Dex context), and sit in his head, and invent his past.
So why do people like writing, and writing about, Nurse more than Shitty?
Thing/Idea 2: With or without from #nurseydex, Nursey has a lot of unknowns that make him interesting to write and speculate about.
We get a ton of Bitty/Shitty interactions in the comic, either because Shitty is like Bits’s crazy older brother, or because living in the Haus together means they’re more likely to interact regularly. We get a lot of what Shitty’s all about, but much less about Nurse. (Like, the bit about how Nurse thinks he’ll probably be able to annoy Dex out of Haus and into space in 3.17? Actually surprised me!)
Let me count the ways - what makes a Black kid from New York start playing hockey? What makes a prep school outsider (is he an outsider?) want to be a poet? Why’d he get sent to boarding school anyways? What, actually, is the deal with his parents, two moms or bad dad or okay parents or all of the above? Or, hey Nurse, how come we’ve never heard of you dating ever, making it so no one can say for sure what your sexuality is? Like, I know we’ve come up with a lot of cool fanon reasons for all these things, but the point is that it’s all speculation, and we are making up some really cool stories off of crumbs of information. Which leads me to:
Thing/Idea 3: Shitty’s entire existence is a backlash against his upbringing and defines his character, while Nurse’s perceived/actual privilege (and how he really only talks about it twice) deepens our interest in him.
Shitty’s at Samwell, instead of Harvard. He’s doing Women’s Studies instead of Law. He’s got long hair that he’s not supposed to have, and he’s loud about women’s/reproductive/gay rights instead of learning cool golf or toting expensive cars. He’s not shy about how much he hates his family. Like, we get it, Shits - you’re paying for the sins of your family by being everything they’re not. When you graduate Harvard Law, $10 says you become a public defender because your family hates the poor. We don’t need to analyze or talk about your privilege, because you would rather chew your own foot clean off than go to the country club one more goddamn time. You’ve said it twice now.
But Nurse… well, we can say so much more about Nurse. We can get tropey with him and make him not understand poverty, sure. I see more fics depicting wealth as a synonym for loneliness to Nursey. But I think the point I’m trying to make is that I think we talk more about Nurse & privilege than Shitty & privilege because we just talk about Nurse so much more.
I could be totally wrong. I think the racial element is 100% worth discussing, and subconscious racial bias is definitely something to point out. I just felt like there were more sides to this than just the one, so I thought I’d write for like an hour on race issues vs who gets more air time in the fandom??
so just like, a reminder? bitty isn’t actually capable of making 19 pies in five minutes. he’s a baker, not a wizard. chill.
If you put the pies in at 3750 degrees Fahrenheit it lowers the baking time by 90%
This is true I’m an oven
Eggy
THE UPDATE JUST HAPPENED PEOPLE. this is some hiatus level stuff
I need more blogs to follow!! So reblog if you post Check, Please! stuff!!!
Based off that one vine I can’t find
found it! https://vine.co/v/OWaIKTdt7Ub

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i love sketching them up omg, the boys will come sometime later!! The update made my day ; O ;
I AM ALREADY IN LOVE WITH FORD
Will you all stop with the names all taken from Check Please I can’t tell any of you apart! I can single out like, five of you max. It’s like being face blind with names. Like, if you talk to me I smile and nod? But half the time I’m trying to figure out WHICH VARIATION OF PIE AND HOCKEY YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE.
(still love you all. but man, y’all make life harder than it needs to be.)
daily reminder that is costs $0.00 to remember that Chowder is Nursey & Dex’s best friend and a Main Character in OMGCP so um, maybe include him in your fics?? Please??

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can we stop w the narrative that’s like “chowder’s too nice to call out racists!!” as if calling out racists is inherently mean…. u know what’s actually inherently mean? racism
an au where bitty has a dick roommate his freshman year who calls him Eric in a way that’s just passive aggressive enough to be noticeable
bitty: and then MATT was like ‘hey eric’ jack: bitty: GOD i hate him jack: bitty: jack: eric is your name bitty: THAT’S NOT THE POIN-