you're feeling up my senses;

RACHEL: Marley !! I have just been hit by a tremendous and overwhelming urgency to be your musical mentor and guide you back into the world of song writing.

RACHEL: I will be at your house in twenty minutes.

MARLEY: Well, I appreciate the thought but I'm not so sure if I'm ready to get back into song writing. It's been years since I've even tried.

marley rose + real thoughts moodboard

Quinn: I have a few places I want to go with it but I'd appreciate your insight. I'm really glad to hear it Marley. Go after the things that bring you joy, if that's writing songs, please do it. Even if the simple joy of it is all that comes of it.

Quinn: I have my fur child and that's as dependent as anyone/thing on me as it gets. What do you have going on this coming weekend?

Marley: Well, I appreciate you asking me for insight for this. I think that's what we all need at a time like this; the simple joys when everything else has turned to shit.

***

Nothing about life in this moment in time was simple or easy, it seemed like since he got the call about William’s body being found a domino effect of bad situations decided to come flying down, his jaw clicked as Marley responded to his comment about Annabel, “ A few days ago. “ he muttered under his breath. It was as if his chest grew tighter while they sat there and conversed about the new situation at hand, when he first saw the picture of Kai, all of his sense alerted but he had talked himself into believing James’ was indeed Kai’s father, Hunter didn’t know how to accept the reality of it all. James knows he’s not the father,   perhaps that was a good thing, it gave them time and the fact he was the only other person that knew currently made it a little easier to handle. “ Does he know I’m Kai’s dad? “ Hunter had never liked James, the man had always left an uncertainty in the pit of Hunter’s stomach but he was never going to question Marley’s happiness, he had no other reason to. And Kai was a great child so Marley and James had done more than Hunter could ask for in raising his kid. 

Hunter felt defeated, everything weighing heavily on him as she finally admitted that she didn’t know what was going to happen next, the fact there was so many thing to figure out next was reeling in his head. His head fell back down into his hands as he rubbed his palms into his forehead, there was a part of him that was wishing it was all a dream that he was going to jolt awake any moment and things would go back to normal, “ I don’t know. “ he admitted aloud; it was rare that he didn’t know what to do in a situation, but he had no clue what to do or what to say anymore. “ I think we should figure all of this out another time. “ the words burned as the left his lips, he didn’t know if he wanted Marley to stay or leave, he didn’t know how to feel anymore and it was starting to worry him. Everything was changing and he had no control and that’s one thing he can’t accept. 

***

Everything about life in this moment was not simple - her relationship with Hunter, her marriage to James, and the body being found and her being a point of interest. It was like her entire world was crumbling at her feet and she couldn’t stop it and she couldn’t change the direction that it was going. And it was like she was taking everybody down with her and she wanted to stop it all from happening, but she didn’t know how to. She nodded her head, not sure that she should really be commenting on the fact that now he and Annabel were no longer engaged. It came as a shock to her and she didn’t know if it was because of her or because of him - but she felt at fault for it. “Yeah, he knows it’s you. He had been suspicious about us for quite a while and then he saw us at the memorial and confronted me about it and I came clean.” She let out a sigh, “He left. Back to California for the time being so I don’t know if he’ll be coming back or not.” She shrugged her shoulders as looked down at her hands in her lap, her fingers fidgeting with a piece of fabric that was loose on her shirt. 

She knew that this was all too much for all of them and she wanted so badly to have all of this figured out but that wasn’t going to happen today - or even overnight. They still had so much to discuss about not only Kai but what this meant for their relationship and if everything was going to be different or if they were going to figure it all out in the end. “I think you’re right,” she replied, pressing her lips together. “I should probably go.” Marley stood up to leave but before she did, she turned back to look at Hunter. “You know where I’ll be if you want to talk okay? And you can have all the time that you need to figure out how you feel and what you want to do about all of this. Just know that what I’ve told you at the beginning of this rings true even though it doesn’t seem like it right now.” She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I guess I’ll be seeing you around. Please take care of yourself okay?”

Quinn: Yes, really. I've been mulling around a character, who's a mother fighting for custody of her daughter. Just ... an idea, but I could use some perspective. Perhaps, now is the perfect time to pick it up again. I'm sure there is quite a bit you need to get off your chest, with everything going on, what better way than in a song or two?

Quinn: A beautiful relationship. I can't even really imagine being that close to anyone. Sounds nice. A little much, huh. In that case, I'm glad you're getting the break and we should definitely have that conversation about the mom type things over some margaritas when your mom can watch Kai.

Marley: That’s a very interesting idea that you have there and quite common in the motherhood world, unfortunately. I would love to help you with this and I think or rather I know I can give you insight into that. That is so very true and something that I think I’m going to get back into. I know Rachel offered to help me with it too so who knows what might come of it.

SEBASTIAN: many people would say that my presence makes most situations worse, but i'm grateful for the vote of confidence.

SEBASTIAN: anyway it's fine... he has the case to focus on. it'll keep him grounded.

[A PAUSE]

SEBASTIAN: by the way

SEBASTIAN: i have a question for you that i would rather not ask over text. nothing crazy, just a foggy memory i think you can help clear up about something i believe used to belong to you?

MARLEY: eh it probably won’t happen again so save that text as a reminder.

MARLEY: you think but then again it might not. we’ll just have to wait and see.

[typing and retyping because your girl nervous]

RYDER: thank. you. my thoughts exactly.

RYDER: perfect! i'm so in.

RACHEL: Amazing !!!! You can come to the Berry Residence as soon as possible, bring pen, paper and all your creative energy. I will provide snacks and the best inspiration possible.

RACHEL: Do people question your parenting?

RACHEL: Okay, I will bring him something. What a bright and mature child! When I make my own little projects I hope they can be as sweet as that but knowing me, they would probably request duets before I leave the door.

RACHEL: ...And I will accept their requests.

MARLEY: How does tomorrow afternoon sound? I'm sure you can pencil me in sometime, right? Do I need to bring anything other than pen, paper and my energy?

MARLEY: Not usually. James has but there's more to that than meets the eye.

Quinn: Really? Because I actually might have a few things I’d like to run by you. Mom-type-things. For accuracy purposes. I had a horrible one and I’m not one so I may get some things a bit wrong. Writing is one of my favorite escapes so it works.

Quinn: Sounds like you’re handling it. And you have Kai, which has to be a comfort. Still, being away from your husband can’t be the most reassuring. I know this may come as a surprise but I can actually be a good listener if you’re ever in the market for one.

Marley: Wow really? Well then I am your girl to answer any mom type questions that you have. Just let me know when you’re free and we’ll get together. It used to be one of mine but I haven’t wrote especially songs in god knows how long.

Quinn: Yes, the bar is very high.

Quinn: I'm so glad.

Quinn: I'm fine. Just spending my time writing some good some bad, but nothing for the book yet. But, it's all a good distraction, something else to focus on.

Quinn: How gave you been, Marley? Having your entire family uprooted has to be a lot on top of everything else.

Marley: I'm glad that we could set that bar.

Marley: Yeah? Well, if you ever need anybody to like read what you have already or just to bounce ideas off of, let me know. I get the whole distraction, though. And writing is always a good distraction.

Quinn: Marley, I forgot to thank you for the invite to Kai's party. My first 5 year old party was better than I expected.

Quinn: I hope he likes the books and the Spider Gwen comic.

Marley: You are so very welcome. I’m glad that we set the bar high for any other 5 year old parties that you attend.

Marley: Oh he loves them! He talks about them all the time. Thank you again for them.

RACHEL: Oh no, I would love to go to a club! Maybe we could spend sometime songwriting too? I feel like I am the perfect person to give you inspiration ⭐.

RACHEL: NOT AT ALL !!

RACHEL: I just know that when I was a child and my dads went out with their friends and left me with a babysitter, I would've preferred if the friends in question brought me a gift. One time, they bought me dancing shoes and that became my favourite one and I will do everything in my power to become Kai's favourite.

MARLEY: I haven't even thought about songwriting in so long so yeah I think we could do that. You have always been good at giving me inspiration.

MARLEY: Okay, good.

RACHEL: I never took you as much of a clubbing person but I would gladly take a night off to blow up some much needed steam!

RACHEL: Who will take care of Kai? Should I buy him something to ease the stress of his mother leaving him for the night?

MARLEY: Well, it was only one suggestion but I'm game for any others if you have them.

MARLEY: My mom has him with her on a weekend trip to a cabin so no I don't think he'll need something. I'm with him 24/7 so it's not like one night away is going to hurt him.

**

Every fiber of his being was burning, he couldn’t tell if it was rage or if it was pain at this point but his skin was burning as he continued to press his fingers into his scalp, rubbing the backside of his head as his elbows left bruises in his thighs, everything felt so intense in the moment that liquid filled his eyes, the tighter he forced his eyelids together the more pressure built in his head, Hunter’s lips parted as he exhaled longly while listening to Marley speak, keep it together, he kept repeating inside of his head. He knew he couldn’t break, he had to collect himself, they needed to discuss this and figure out how they were going to handle the situation now that was thrown upon them while dealing with the reality of their past coming back to terrorize them. Swallowing thickly before finally releasing his head to sit up, he stared at the wall for what seemed like eternity before he collected his thoughts, Marley’s words were almost like daggers to his chest, so many excuses but it was him, and that’s what confused him the most, they had always been so open with each other, especially when the affair was happening and perhaps that’s why it hurt him the most. 

“ Annabel and I are no longer engaged. “ he started, his tongue briefly wetting his lips as he turned on the bed to face her, it almost burned a hole into his chest to look at her in that moment, “ Kai’s my son. “ it was surreal to be saying that, Hunter had never thought of himself as father material, he had always been appalled by the idea of himself having children after everything he endured with his own parents, he had vowed to never make the same mistakes they did with him.  “ Who all knows that James isn’t the father? “ There was no telling how any of this could end, how the investigation was going to go and now how anyone was going to react to the fact Hunter and Marley had a child together, mostly James. Hunter’s eyes scanned Marley’s face, if there was anyone in the world who could break his heart it was the woman sitting in front of him, and he swore that’s what was happening in this moment. “ I don’t want to talk about the why’s on why you kept this from me, I want to discuss what and how we’re going to do things right now. “ he maintained the neutral demeanor he had perfected over the years, right now emotions were the last thing he wanted to show or express. 

***

Marley made sure to watch Hunter’s reactions before and during her confession. She felt her entire body being broken and she was numb. It was all of her faults - she was the one that hid the fact that Hunter was the father of Kai and the one that kept it for as long as she did. She had nobody else to blame but herself but in this whole situation, it felt like there was no winning. She was going to lose her best friend and the one that she loved more than anything because she didn’t want to tell him the truth. They had always been honest with each other, through everything - the assaults, the murder, the affair. Hunter was the one person that she knew she could talk to about anything and he would never judge her or make her feel as if she was a burden to him. Her chest ached as she looked at his face to process all of this and she wanted to understand how he was feeling but with Hunter, he was very good at keeping a calm face through things that were rough and this was one of those times. 

When he mentioned that Annabel and he were no longer engaged, her jaw dropped slightly. “Wait, what? Hunter” she paused, “When?” Her head bowed, her hands kept in her lap and she picked at her nails as she nodded her head. “Yes, Kai’s your son.” She knew that it was going to take time for him to process the fact that he was a father and a father to a five-year-old but she knew that he was going to be a good father - especially watching their interactions at his birthday party. At his next question, she bit the inside of her cheek. She couldn’t tell him that Sebastian knew about this before he did and besides Sebastian knowing, there were not many others that knew. “James knows he’s not the father, but other than him, you’re the only other person who knows.” When James found out that he wasn’t the father, it was far from a good time between them but now that he’s been gone for a little while, things have gotten better. She let out another breath that she didn’t realize that she had been holding as she shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I mean I guess the next step would be to tell Kai and I don’t know if you want to be there when it happens or what to do. And about like custody or whatever, we’ll have to figure that out, too, I guess.” The tears that she had held back came falling down her face but she immediately wiped them away before he could see.

***

“Hold up. I’m all for sharing, but you can’t go stealing a man’s drink. That’s wrong on so many levels,” he replied smoothly, though truth be told, he didn’t mind all that much. It tasted a little strange without some form of booze lingering in the mix anyway. “Oh shit. What’d you bring? I wasn’t sure what to get, so I grabbed a few small bags of chips, a few candy bars, and I think a snack cake. Figured I’d cover all the basis. Salty and sweet and then super sweet.” It was dope not having to steal anything; turns out, having your own money really did mean a lot when it came to being able to pick out whatever you wanted.

As tempting as the idea of stopping was, he knew better than that. It was like leaving a fifty dollar in front of him as a kid; he’d totally cave. Addiction was something he’d never struggled with, which had come as a surprise to everyone, including himself. He knew when enough was enough, but not everyone was so lucky. “No way. I’m not going to be the one that tempts you with something you don’t even care for,” he shrugged, fingers gripping a bit tighter at the wheel. “I’ve had to do a lot of trainings on addiction and stuff. Just ‘cause you don’t prefer it doesn’t mean you wouldn’t go for it and if you went for it, then kiss sobriety goodbye, babe. I’ll be alright.”

Lips parted to rush a reply, but Puck forced a gentle smile onto his lips as he stared at the road. Of course she’d developed a dark sense of humor to cope with the shit they’d done; who wouldn’t? “I get it,” he shrugged, taking a moment to glance her way. “And for the record, no. To everything. I wouldn’t tell you even if you guessed it, but you won’t guess it,” he assured, reaching over to swipe her drink from them middle to take a quick sip. “You’re right though. My drink is way better.”

***

“I mean technically we could say that we’re just sharing the drink instead of me stealing it. We’re going to be in the car for a couple of hours so we’ll just say that we’re sharing the drinks okay?” she smiled as she grabbed the bag on the floor. “Well, I love everything that you got. I just brought some beef jerky because what’s a road trip without it right? And then I brought some chips as well and random candy that we had laying around the house.” It had been a long time since she had been on a road trip with one of her friends - it was something that they all used to do frequently. It was nice to get out of town even for a few hours to a place where she didn’t even know where they were going.

Instinctively, Marley fidgeted with the necklace on her chest as they talked about addiction and she knew that Puck was right - even though alcohol wasn’t her drug of choice, it was still something that she had been addicted to and it would be tempting for her. She was looking for any excuse to relapse and she needed to remember that there were people that she was keeping clean for so she was glad that he didn’t take the bait and give in to his own but rather worried about her own sobriety. “You’re right,” she laughed, “I just figured that I would at least offer you the opportunity but I appreciate you thinking about me.”

Crossing one leg over the other, she leaned back into the seat and took a drink before looking over at him. “I’m going to have to switch up my drink order from now on,” she replied. Her attention then moved to the road in front of them and she let out a soft breath. “Thank you for this. I think we both needed it and getting out of town and forgetting for a few hours is probably going to be the best. So you’re really not going to give me a hint as to where we’re going?”

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Let’s see if blondes really do have more fun.