darn it, i can be such a jerk sometimes

Absolutely livid.

"Hey."

You can already envision the dopey smile spread across his face, his eyes twinkling in a way that always seems to send your knees wobbling every time he catches your eye.

Even though the sudden appearance of your lovely boyfriend was a comfort you needed right now, the idea of Clark only spread more guilt throughout your body. Your pace only seemed speed up at the sound of his voice, you can only imagine the look on his face right now as you try to control your breathing with shaky inhales.

All this was supposed to be an amicable relationship, a comfort to when you couldn't seem to stay asleep at ungodly hours of the night —unwilling to wake up Clark from his slumber for something so little— and companionship to the hero of Metropolis when the night was slow and lonely. That's all it was supposed to be. Especially, when the sweet, dorky, and absolutely perfect farm boy was already yours.

God, how did this happen.

How could you do this to Clark?

Something pulls your hand away from your mouth, just before you could rip another piece off. Your brain seems to clear as you feel a hand side onto your waist, stopping you from wearing down a path on the roof even more.

The haze of anger, confusion, and guilt that seemed to surround you almost completely disappears as you feel a warm, stable beat of the heart you've devoted so much time learning and memorizing the song of under the pads of your fingers. Your heart begins to match its rhythm as Clark wraps around you, shielding the rest of the world.

The low timbre of his voice fills the space as he hums a small tune, if only to center your brain on him and not whatever is on your mind.

"What's going on in that beautiful brain of yours?" Clark softly asks as a smile grows across his face with a tilt of his head, "I know it's not nothing."

Anger flares up again, fanning the flames at a particular man of steel as warm, gentle hands move to cradle your head. Blue eyes seem to soften the burn as they crinkle with concern.

"C'mon, you know you can tell me ."

Nevermind, guilt is also back on the table.

"It's genuinely nothing," you muffle as you tuck yourself deeper into his chest. Hands creating wrinkles as you take fistfuls of his crisp shirt, just to avoid those same eyes.

Your jaw starts to clench as more thoughts seems to zoom across your mind. Of fucking course, it's fucking Superman. His name is literally fucking Super. Man. How cliche of you. Is bread the best thing you've ever tasted? Oh, you're attracted to a man with big muscles, a kind smile, and the symbol of all that is good in the world? Call the press because you've got a groundbreaking story right here.

And the cherry on top of all of that, your boyfriend seems to be the only reporter in the city that has a rapport with him, someone that he trusts.

"You really think I believe that?"

"Can you just believe it for now?"

"Nope."

You pull away with a drawn out groan, his laugh lingering in the background as you restart your route around the area.

Ok, it's not like you have to see him everyday, well in person that is. This is what you were training for, you can just avoid Kal. All this will go away if you just stay in your bedroom and not venture out when you can't sleep, simple, succinct. You'll never need to address the familiar feelings that usually only sprout with Clark that are now starting to grow when you're with him as well. Nor will you need to address the confusing feeling that started to grow into another thing when he decided to absentmindedly and softly kiss you when he had to leave last night. Which obviously made you like this now, so now you never need to address it! Great! Then you can just live your wonderful life with your wonderful boyfriend who you love and adore and the two of you'll go off and-

"Honey, I can hear your thoughts from over here," Clark chuckled, now settled next to the bags you carelessly tossed to the floor in a haste to try and stop your racing heart, "I promise you it can't be that-"

You fold under absolutely no pressure.

"I have a stupid crush on Superman, ok?!"

You huff, pretty much throwing yourself to the ground next to Clark, "It's ruining my life."

The silence from the man next to you sends nausea rolling throughout your stomach as you breath through your hands, trying not to freak out.

A silence that lasted way too long for someone like Clark.

You peak through your hands, only to see Clark looking away with puffed cheeks, very obviously trying not to laugh. It's only till he turns back to look at you does a snort escape from him.

"Clark," you whine, "I'm being serious."

"I am too!"

You start to get back on your feet, "That's it, I'm walking off the roof."

"No, come back here," he very easily pulls you back down with a laugh, only for you tuck yourself into his arm, trying to hide your embarrassment.

You can practically hear the smug look on his face, "Now. Superman, you say."

"You're enjoying this way too much."

"Ok. So, let's talk this through, what about him do you like so much," Clark smiles down at you, "From personal experience, I know your head isn't turned so easily."

Your face could burn a hole into Clark's shirt with how hot you feel as Clark just keeps on pestering you about your life changing discovery.

"I'm not telling my boyfriend about a crush I have on another man," you grumble.

"Humor me."

You peak back up to Clark. No anger, disgust, or even jealousy is evident in his face, only the same face you fell in love with greets you, eyes still bright as it was before. Sure, an annoying smirk is splashed across his face —you have no idea why that's there—, but the same old Clark is staring back at you.

"You like his muscles, don't you?"

"I'm actually going to jump off this building," you pull away from him with fake annoyance, sitting up straight yet still pressed into his side.

Clark snickers besides you, "Oh, so that Superman can hold you in his big, muscular arms."

"No," you snort.

Metropolis starts to fade as you zero into Clark, only Clark. What does Superman have over the kind, bumbling dork you call yours. Powers? A Cape? Nothing can truly compare to what you have right now.

You soften, "Not when you're right here next to me."

A breeze starts to pick up as you lean up and press a small kiss into the corner of his smile. A secret kind of quietness fills the space as the two of you look over the city. Pressed into each others side, you're happy that you chose the man beside you.

"Speaking of Superman…"

You groan, "I thought we dropped it."

"I know, I know, it's just," Clark inhales, "I've been thinking about this for a while, now that you bring him up that is."

"What, you have a crush on the man of steel too? I mean, you might spend more time with him the most besides me, interviews and all."

"Honey, are you having an affair with Superman?"

Oh fuck, "NO, NO, I am NOT. Sometimes I just can't fall asleep and he gets lonely and we just end up talking. Oh my god, Clark, Ipromisenothingisgoingon-"

Clark interrupts, "I know, Honey. Don't worry, I would know if you were having an affair with Superman."

"I mean, yeah, he doesn't seem like someone who would do something like that, I mean I saw him save a squirrel before. You talk to him and there's no way that he would hit on a colleague's partner especia- NOT THAT I WOULD CHEAT ON YOU."

"I know you wouldn't," his voice stopping you from spiraling even further.

"Im just telling that I would know," Clark smiles and with a final exhale, "because I'm Superman."

Pulling off his glasses, the rug is pulled under you as you just blink at him. The haze seemed to be lifted as your brain starts to fill in the blanks and finally connects the final pieces needed for you to catch up.

You fell for Clark. Superman.

Twice.

What the fuck.

Silence seemed to build and you can feel the nervous energy rolling off of Clark. Suddenly springing up from your seat, you return to the route burned into the top of the Daily planet and Clark springs up right behind you almost immediately.

"If you need more evidence, I am more than willing to-"

"You have got to be kidding me."

Clark starts to shrink into himself, "I know you're mad I kept this from you, but you've got to understand, I have a lot of people who want to hurt me and I couldn't drag you int-"

"So you're telling…I fell in love with the poster boy for attractiveness? Not once but twice???"

Clark stops, "What."

"Oh my god, is vanilla my favorite flavor of ice cream? Is Avatar my favorite movie? I fell in love with the symbol for all that is good in the world, twice. Oh my god, call Perry because this is a news worthy story-"

"I don't know whether to be flattered or…"

"The definition of easy on the eyes. I'm over here falling in love with Mr. six-foot-four, chiseled-abs, biceps the size of my head-"

"Good to know that I was right about the muscles thing."

"Has everyone in the world drooling over him, twice. God, I can't believe I fell for the fucking trap, multiple times-"

You pause.

Slowly you turn, marching right up to Clark's stupid, dumb, unbelievably charming face.

"This is un-fucking-believable. You hear me, Smallville? You can't just go and kiss someone when they're sleep deprived and don't know that their boyfriend is Superman."

Flashes of realizations rush across his face that soon settle into understanding. A red flush covers his face as he pulls a hand to rub the back of his neck, "Oh, right that."

"You…"

A small shift in his step makes his nervousness more evident to you, "Are you still mad at me?"

A large sigh escapes you, your hands already reaching up to cup his face. With the sun fully set, only the lights of the buildings around you illuminate the roof. Almost automatically, Clark leans lower, chasing your hold as the two of you perfectly fit against each other, his hands already resting on your waist.

Your eyes flicker over his features, now fully revealed to you. Your hand starts trace through the small differences, the ones that set apart the two lives he was living. His nose a bit sharper, his eyes a little brighter. While your brain was catching up, trying to piece together the two pieces to fit, of course your heart recognized him, how could it not.

Superman may forever belong to the world, but Clark Kent, your Clark, belonged to you.

Your hands settle at the nape of his neck, "No, I'm not. Not really."

A soft hum comes out of his lips as he leans down to rest his forehead on yours. You can't help but laugh as he makes it a point to lock his eyes onto yours.

"You know, I didn't know you had a type."

You can't help but groan.

"Am I really that irresistible to you?" God, you're never going to hear the end of this, "what was it about having biceps the size of your head?"

"I don't want to talk to you right now."

Heat started to run across your body as he continued, "Poster boy for attractiveness, was it you said? Or, or was it the definition of easy on the eyes…"

His voice started to fade as he leaned closer, just to close the gap between the two of you. Right as the gap was about to close, your hand pushes against his chest, just enough to stop him in his tracks.

"Wait a second, I told Superman about your birthday present."

"What's that? Oh no! I can hear a cat stuck in a tree, I guess that's my cue!"

"No, Clark get back here-"

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