Anna

they keep inventing harder weeks but i keep inventing a braver girl to be to get thru them

not to be dramatic but sometimes i feel like i don't belong anywhere on this earth like maybe all there is for me is perpetual loneliness + constant desire to go back to a place that doesn’t exist anymore

every time i get close to someone i feel like a stray dog trying to live in a house. like i don’t know where to put my body or how loud i’m allowed to be.

(getting a taste of my own medicine) actually this is okay. Is this what you guys have bene whining about? Jesus christ

i keep thinking about this: maybe love isn’t a destination or a possession but an influence. a force that changes your shape. that helps you become. and when it’s gone, it doesn’t mean you’ve lost it. it means you’ve absorbed it. the people who leave don’t take it with them. they leave it behind in you.

and in the next fifty years, you will ache and you will glow. you will fall in love with people who don’t stay and still carry their names like pressed flowers in the folds of your memory. you will eat meals alone and meals with people who make you laugh so hard you forget the sting of silence. there will be mornings you can’t get out of bed and nights where you walk home humming under a sky so wide it forgives you. you’ll cry in public and smile at strangers and sometimes it’ll be the same thing. you’ll hear a song that reminds you of someone you promised you’d never forget and you’ll realize you already have, a little. you’ll outgrow versions of yourself you once thought permanent and mourn them like old friends and still you will keep going. you’ll see sunsets that make your chest tighten. you’ll be held when you least expect it. you’ll feel the cold on your face and remember what it means to be alive. and it won’t always be gentle but it will be yours.

sometimes you don’t get the thing you so badly want because the universe is actually transpiring to bring you something even better

love downloading a pdf to never read. just in case. like lol. you’re coming home with me