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@astronaut-morty
pipe dream

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"Do you ever drink so much coffee that you do that - that speed thing like the guy in x-men where everything s t arts to slow-mo?"
What??? No? Coffee doesn't work like that, wh-wh-what the hell are you talking about???
"Oh well, i guess yeah that makes sense. Itd just be cool if it did. Could - could you invent some kind of a coffee-fueled slow mo device to do it? Like just run around and i dont know, like mess with things? Prank people?"
I COULD hypothetically *burp* put something together and fuel the device with coffee to fuck with people. But let me ask you something else: Why the hell would I do ANY of that???
"Well i guess for fun? Do you not like fun things? Does coffee make people like having fun less?"
Of course I like fun things, dumbass! I'm a fucking blast! But what you're suggesting requires *burp* utilizing coffee in a way that isn't ingesting it, which is a fucking waste.
"Well maybe it doesnt have to be a waste? M-maybe the device could use coffee beans as a power source and then it dispenses coffee you can, you know, drink?"
"H-hey! I like your outfit! You look really cool and tough and stuff!"
βFuckinβ someone finally noticed!β he gives a firm pat to Astronaut Mortyβs back.
βEven my own Morty wont acknowledge the sheer ruggedness I got going on. I-I-I mean come on now. And you! Youβre lookin pretty decked out there, huh little guy? whatβs up with that?β he motions to the outfit
"Ive got to wear it so i dont spread a disease, you know, like a reverse Hazmat suit i guess.
You know, Youve got to be like the nicest Rick ive met so far! Your name is Heath right? Like Heath ledger!?"
"Oh wow. Youre like - well you know. A puddle, does that like .. hurt? Is it like being a jellyfish, you know, like how they dont have a nerve system?"
Yeah, Iβm a puddle. No, it doesnβt hurt.
Programmable nanofluid tends to make having a body optional. And no, I donβt have nerves. Every drop is part of the same system. Doesnβt make me invincible, though. Heat still cooks the nanofluid if it's hot enough.
How is it like being an astronaut?
"Aw well, not as fun as i thought itd be. Maybe if things - maybe if the reason im here was different itd be more fun you know? Plus the suit is really itchy sometimes.
Did you choose to become a puddle or was it like an accident?"
What is the reason, little buddy? I mean, I could make you a new suit, but I don't know. I don't really do things for Mortys anymore.
No, I turned myself into a puddle just because I felt like it. It just kind of stuckβ¦
"Oh well, to to make a long story short my Rick accidentally ,maybe on purpose, brought a disease back to our Earth that started making everyone melt into goo, kinda like puddles like you but not as cool and more... guts and stuff. Rick too, i mean my Rick also got melted and im kinda stuck in this suit until his nanobots rebuild him, cuz you know, im just a Morty. I dont know how to make a cure.
Anyway um, I bet you could um yeah you could get anywhere you want as a puddle huh? Like a super spy thing, you can just shloop right under doors and cracks and stuff!"
See? This is why being a puddleβs great. Iβm immune to diseases. And yeah, I could be some kind of superspy, but why would I? I may be a puddle, but Iβm still a Rick. If I need someone sneaking around, thatβs what Mortyβs for. Itβs about the only thing heβs good atβ¦ though the kid talks way too much. Anyway, Whatβs the plan with this disease?
"Im not really sure, i mean we're quarantining and if i go anywhere i wear my suit so i dont spread the the disease you know? But once my Ricks body is rebuilt i-ill annoy him into making a cure for our earth.
Is your Morty a puddle too? A Mordle? A Purty?"
"You look like a-a guy who know how to get things! Do you know where we - i could get a water reclaimer for like not much money?"
Oh, sure, little buddy! Let me just open you up a portal that'll lead you directly to one!
His demeanor gives the feeling that something isn't right here.
"Oh um jeez thats okay! I have my own portal gun so if you just tell me the coordinates than i can - you know - just head that way ha ha."
Aw, c'mon pal! You should let your ol' grandpa lead you the way!
"My grandpa is a pile of goo and nanobots in a space suit right now so im like 90 percent sure youre not my grandpa..."
That should give you plenty of reason to listen to me!
Not exactly safe for a Morty to be traveling the multiverse on his own!
"Why wouldnt it be safe?"
Do you really want me to go in detail when your old man is a pile of goo?
"Well i mean, he did that to himself technically..."

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"You look like a-a guy who know how to get things! Do you know where we - i could get a water reclaimer for like not much money?"
Oh, sure, little buddy! Let me just open you up a portal that'll lead you directly to one!
His demeanor gives the feeling that something isn't right here.
"Oh um jeez thats okay! I have my own portal gun so if you just tell me the coordinates than i can - you know - just head that way ha ha."
Aw, c'mon pal! You should let your ol' grandpa lead you the way!
"My grandpa is a pile of goo and nanobots in a space suit right now so im like 90 percent sure youre not my grandpa..."
That should give you plenty of reason to listen to me!
Not exactly safe for a Morty to be traveling the multiverse on his own!
"Why wouldnt it be safe?"
"Oh wow. Youre like - well you know. A puddle, does that like .. hurt? Is it like being a jellyfish, you know, like how they dont have a nerve system?"
Yeah, Iβm a puddle. No, it doesnβt hurt.
Programmable nanofluid tends to make having a body optional. And no, I donβt have nerves. Every drop is part of the same system. Doesnβt make me invincible, though. Heat still cooks the nanofluid if it's hot enough.
How is it like being an astronaut?
"Aw well, not as fun as i thought itd be. Maybe if things - maybe if the reason im here was different itd be more fun you know? Plus the suit is really itchy sometimes.
Did you choose to become a puddle or was it like an accident?"
What is the reason, little buddy? I mean, I could make you a new suit, but I don't know. I don't really do things for Mortys anymore.
No, I turned myself into a puddle just because I felt like it. It just kind of stuckβ¦
"Oh well, to to make a long story short my Rick accidentally ,maybe on purpose, brought a disease back to our Earth that started making everyone melt into goo, kinda like puddles like you but not as cool and more... guts and stuff. Rick too, i mean my Rick also got melted and im kinda stuck in this suit until his nanobots rebuild him, cuz you know, im just a Morty. I dont know how to make a cure.
Anyway um, I bet you could um yeah you could get anywhere you want as a puddle huh? Like a super spy thing, you can just shloop right under doors and cracks and stuff!"
"Do you ever drink so much coffee that you do that - that speed thing like the guy in x-men where everything s t arts to slow-mo?"
What??? No? Coffee doesn't work like that, wh-wh-what the hell are you talking about???
"Oh well, i guess yeah that makes sense. Itd just be cool if it did. Could - could you invent some kind of a coffee-fueled slow mo device to do it? Like just run around and i dont know, like mess with things? Prank people?"
I COULD hypothetically *burp* put something together and fuel the device with coffee to fuck with people. But let me ask you something else: Why the hell would I do ANY of that???
"Well i guess for fun? Do you not like fun things? Does coffee make people like having fun less?"
"You look like a-a guy who know how to get things! Do you know where we - i could get a water reclaimer for like not much money?"
Oh, sure, little buddy! Let me just open you up a portal that'll lead you directly to one!
His demeanor gives the feeling that something isn't right here.
"Oh um jeez thats okay! I have my own portal gun so if you just tell me the coordinates than i can - you know - just head that way ha ha."
Aw, c'mon pal! You should let your ol' grandpa lead you the way!
"My grandpa is a pile of goo and nanobots in a space suit right now so im like 90 percent sure youre not my grandpa..."
"Do you ever drink so much coffee that you do that - that speed thing like the guy in x-men where everything s t arts to slow-mo?"
What??? No? Coffee doesn't work like that, wh-wh-what the hell are you talking about???
"Oh well, i guess yeah that makes sense. Itd just be cool if it did. Could - could you invent some kind of a coffee-fueled slow mo device to do it? Like just run around and i dont know, like mess with things? Prank people?"

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
"You look like a-a guy who know how to get things! Do you know where we - i could get a water reclaimer for like not much money?"
Oh, sure, little buddy! Let me just open you up a portal that'll lead you directly to one!
His demeanor gives the feeling that something isn't right here.
"Oh um jeez thats okay! I have my own portal gun so if you just tell me the coordinates than i can - you know - just head that way ha ha."
"Oh wow. Youre like - well you know. A puddle, does that like .. hurt? Is it like being a jellyfish, you know, like how they dont have a nerve system?"
Yeah, Iβm a puddle. No, it doesnβt hurt.
Programmable nanofluid tends to make having a body optional. And no, I donβt have nerves. Every drop is part of the same system. Doesnβt make me invincible, though. Heat still cooks the nanofluid if it's hot enough.
How is it like being an astronaut?
"Aw well, not as fun as i thought itd be. Maybe if things - maybe if the reason im here was different itd be more fun you know? Plus the suit is really itchy sometimes.
Did you choose to become a puddle or was it like an accident?"
"Hey, im just your - im just an average everyday normal Morty! Nothing uh strange or nothing strange about me, i just live on the moon you know?"
Our girlfriend looks so pretty from outer space

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
"and the universe said i love you."
prints now available here!
All this moon news has been so exciting π