Whats Up Buttercup??

reverse solipsism: everyone else has a vibrant interior life but I'm just a passive observer

pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say

I’ll need to run it by the black mold first before making any major decisions

That's so sad I just realized the characters in the blair witch project never got to listen to coldplay's hit single Yellow

i think the crux of human misery stems from the fact that our skeleton just wants to sit around and accumulate dust in an ancient barrow (that is the innate imperative of all skeletal remains in-case you didn’t know) but our meat has its own agenda which creates this fundamental conflict of interests

Every man thinks a conversation is a script and he is CHRISTIAN BALE and u are GIRL #3

my peanuts went sour

Im here for u if u are dapressed and need to be tenderley comforted for your dumb as fuck mistake

a former coworker is a kind of dead wife