ᨒ↟𖠰 She Wolf 1309F 𖠰↟ᨒ

Hey, it’s Astra here, but you can also call me Selva or Iris. I’m radiocollared and my ID is 1309F.

I’m a female canine born in 2009 and i live in Northern Italy, my motherland.

I’m a Canis Lupus, Canis Lupus Familiaris, Canis Lupus Dingo, questioning Lycaon Pictus.

I’m a psychological, biological and ancestral animalkin and otherhearted.

I’m also a lioness and this is my sideblog dedicated to it -> @manabisroar

-> Other things you should know:

-Feel free to ask me anything about my identities and experiences in the ask thing, I would be really happy to answer.

-My animal identity is very important to me. Any invalidation or reality checking will not be tolerated.

-I’m a diagnosed autistic who also struggles with social anxiety, maladaptive daydreaming and other things.

-I’m here to share something about my animal identity and experiences, to connect with fellow alterhumans and eventually give help to those who are figuring themselves out. Topics like politics and religion will not be discussed here.

-I’m also really active on Reddit in the therian subreddits like r/Therian and r/therianbutbetter as -veriana-awoo-

That’s it. Have a nice day/night!

*howling in the distance*

My first memories of feeling and acting animalistic date back to when I was in kindergarten, around 2013.

There are many things that I’ve experienced such as instincts, urges and shifts, probably too much to be written there.

I like to explain it like this: I felt a lot of things, some of those were even pretty intense, that simply were not typical of a human being.

I mean, do humans have the strong urge to howl or playfight? Do humans feel the strong need to act like animals? Well, I did, bc I wasn’t totally human since the beginning.

I also felt very connected to wolves, almost like…I was one of them.

During middle school I’ve finally realised that I had a wolf’s mind.

That little awakening was really important to me. From then on, I’ve accepted the fact that I was a wolf in the wrong body. I’ve also started to identify as a black and white coated wolf.

That wolf identity part was something more similar to having an OC rather than identifying as a real wolf, but that “OC” was actually a way of expression: it was a black and white coated she wolf, which was me, my true self. That’s why I made her like that.

Sadly, middle school wasn’t easy for me: the girls in my class always excluded me and even made fun of me sometimes.

I wasn’t being heavily bullied, I was just the weird kid that every pre-teen avoids and secretly laughs at.

One of the reasons I was picked on by the boys was bc I was known as “ladywolf”, a nickname I chose to connect with my wolf identity. I just let everyone in the class know about this name bc I wanted to be seen as a wolf (or at least as the wolf girl). Little did I know that they wouldn’t see me as a wolf but as an even weirder kid instead lol.

And that was just the first year of middle school.

Shortly after I was officially diagnosed autistic.

Around the 2nd and 3rd year (so I was about to become a teen and no longer a kid) I’ve started to suppress my wolf side as my social anxiety drastically grew: I would suppress any kind of urge, instinct or shift. I’ve learned that being around humans while being like that wasn’t socially acceptable and…all I wanted was to be accepted.

During that long suppression phase I would always think about one thing: “once middle school is over, I will let that wolf out”. I was tired of suppressing myself just because I had to appear totally human in order to be considered “normal”. I was still a wolf despite suppressing it, why I was trying to erase one of the most important things about who I truly was?

Middle school finally ended in June 2023.

I don’t exactly remember if I’ve actually stopped to suppressing my wolf self, since suppressing kinda became a normal thing to do, almost like an automatic response to the animalistic feelings.

Then the magic happened.

I was scrolling on Likee (a tiktok like platform) when I came across to a video: it was a person trotting on all fours with their dog while wearing a wolf mask (It was actually uziultralite, previously known as cybercyn on tiktok).

If I remember correctly, I immediately thought something like “that’s how I feel!”.

When I learned about therians and that they feel and act like animals, I’ve started to do some introspection.

I clearly remember the night when I was counting on my fingers how many animalistic stuff I’ve always experienced and sometimes I would gasp out of surprise: I also felt and acted animalistic, my whole life!

I then started following a bunch of therian accounts on Likee and all I felt was the warm feeling of having found people like me.

I have to admit that I was kinda misinformed at the time. I was one of those people who think it’s just “feeling a connection with an animal”.

However, I’ve always knew that I had something deeper than a connection with wolves. In fact, when I learned that therians actually identify as animals, everything started to make sense.

I then awakened as a wolf therian and otherhearted!

June 25th isn’t the exact day of when I awakened, bc the process was gradual. My therian awakening probably lasted till August 2023.

However, on June 25th 2023 I bought my first pair of gear at my first comicon ever: a tail and ears set.

That date marks the day I finally "let the wolf out". Buying my first gear started the process of embracing who I truly was.

I want to say that yes, the tiktok community is indeed toxic and stereotypical, but I don’t think some of us would be there if it wasn’t for a “therian tiktok”, especially younger members.

Because here I am.

I still ask myself how I would’ve found the community if it wasn’t for that video and, most importantly, how long I would’ve waited to finally embrace myself.

Only after my therian awakening I’ve realized how heavy it was to not know why I was the way I was, bc after the awakening it felt like having a weight lifted off my chest.

Now I howl free, knowing that I can finally express myself and I’m not alone.

I would really love to talk to my younger self, who felt like she was the only one on Earth feeling like this. And that feeling of loneliness just worsened everything.

Little did she know…she’s home now.

Thank you so much to the people who shared their experiences in the past, they really helped me to figure it all out.

Thank you so much for crossing my path when I needed it, my dear animal community.

-Astra • 1309F🐾