Aurora realized how much she had missed him now that he was actually there. Before it was easy to ignore it, to block out the feeling of missing something, or someone. Now though she felt that familiar warmth that was always so unique to his company. It was like feeling whole, something that was so rare for her anymore. Still it was hard to look at him without thinking about all the dreams, remembering that smile of his, of chasing him and their child around the house.
She shook the thoughts off and tried to focus on their current surroundings, those were only dreams. It would never happen, Alexander deserved better than settling down with a courtesan. She wanted the best for him, and she was not what he deserved. All she could wish at the moment was for him to say anything. To distract her from all the confusing thoughts that plagued her mind whenever he was around.
The truth was that she wanted to hear him say that he had been there to see her. She didn’t want to think it was just chance that they had run into each other. So when he mentioned visiting someone else she tried not to look so dismayed, her gentle smile fading only a degree as she nodded in acceptance of the words. So he hadn’t come to see her, perhaps he was moving on and away from her. She shouldn’t hate the idea, but she did, she was far too selfish to want to share his company. “Forgive me for disturbing you then, I’m sure you have things you need to tell Pitor. I hope you have a lovely evening Alexander.” Her words were more cordial now, less full of emotion and more of just a statement to be polite.
Alexander felt sick to himself for lying to her. Even if it was a little white lie that most people would brush off. He never lied to Aurora. But then again, he promised himself that he would never tell her how he felt and look at what that did to their relationship.But if she only ‘cared for him more than she should’, then why did he see her expression falter a bit before coming back up when he mentioned visiting someone else? He shook that thought out of his mind, he was just imagining he was sure. So he nodded along with her, pretending that he wasn’t focusing on her expressions or tones to spot any differences.
And he did-- he realized her different tone she had with him. It was... light, free like her tone normally was, despite their situation. It was tight... the same way she talked to him on New years. He sure he could hear it, but his mind told him other wise, telling him he was creating fantasies in his head just like his so called dream. “Right, Pitor...” He mumbled, still so focused on her tone that he swore he heard. “Have a good evening, Aurora...” Giving a monotone response from being so in his head, his feet forced him to turn away from her-- slowly walking away.
Stop imagining things, Swain. His brain told him constantly, trying to stop him from saying anything to her. But something nagged at him. The same thing that nagged at him during the New years party, the same feeling that took over him again. And before he knew it, he stopped, biting his lip as he contemplated. “’Rora...” He called back to her, completely turning around and facing back to her. “H-have you ever gotten that feeling that something is so real and it feels so real, but if try to explain it to someone else-- they might think you’re crazy or just imagining things or even obsessive? But you swear on everything that it was real and maybe, possibly, it could turn into an amazing thing if it was real?”














