Asthmatic Saber

"Would Super Creek from Umamusume be interested in having sex with me and if so would we be sexually compatible?" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate

My mech navigator who really cannot be bothered with me coming home and begging to cuddle with her after the mission is over: yeah I’m releasing all of your weapons locks and maximizing your pain inhibitors, go absolutely hog wild out there. I don’t even think anyone could get you even if the whole army was aiming for you, you’re a gun out there, basically a one woman army. There’s a reason they let you pilot that thing you’re just the best lady for the job, go finish the war in one night, no one can stop you.

Ahh maid yearning yearning to be a maid maid yearning yearning to be a maid maid yearning yearning to be a maid maid yearning yearning to be a maid

A legendary swordmaiden angel appeared before me and offered me a powerful celestial greatsword that is imbued with the power of god and will never dull and the only caveat was that I have to put on this really cool flat chastity cage that has all these cool religious symbols on it that kinda look like seals until I get the sword. Anyway I said that I would because you know you do what you gotta do to get a really cool sword and her cute little angel wings fluttered slightly as she came over and put it on me. She hasn’t come back since and the cage sorta feels like its burning when I think about her but it’s probably a really long way back to heaven and maybe it’s a really heavy sword or something haha. I’m just really looking forward to getting my sword haha

If you see me piss myself in front of super creek don’t say anything ok I’m doing something

What I’ve gotten from first the wordle cuck porn incident and now the jerking off to Ingrid street fighter six game over incident is that a lot of you need to figure out that you’ve been really into censored beta porn without even realizing it. I feel like I’m watching eggs crack except it’s for being really pathetic

Going to the strip club and getting a private dance and then going to the girl okay so how much do you know about fate stay night

Every second tweet on my timeline is about wanting to have sex with Ingrid from street fighter. I have learned that a lot of people watch JOI videos. I guess it makes sense they are pretty elaborate nowadays.

If you see me “accidentally” tripping and falling over around the succubus that drains your levels don’t try to help me up okay I’m doing something

Been thinking about fucking a kebab recently I think it would be pretty good but like not amazing or anything

I do play fighting games to cum bro and to be honest bro I think you need to put your arcade stick down so you can do quarter circles somewhere else because the way you mash out those inputs is making me rock hard

IGA quick sale sushi got me feeling a special kinda way from the first bite I was transported to the first beach I ever saw as a kid the street I know so well became sand as I walked toward the waves of the ocean saw the DS1 !!CURSED!! pop up in my vision too but thats probably fine

Haigure