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the oldest women you’ve ever seen in your life will be at JoAnn Fabrics

evil Winnie the Pooh: I could go for a few smackerels of blood right now

My face when he started doing them toe touches in the air ^

you know a Reddit AITA is gonna be good when it’s titled like ‘AITA for [insert perfectly benign or benevolent act that anyone would agree with doing here]?’ and it has the asshole flare

a non-Reddit observer might take this post as meaning that the comments section of a post like this is just outwardly malicious to an actually good deed, and don’t get me wrong like it’s Reddit and people WILL do that shit, but you’d be surprised to know that this in fact is an indicator that op is actually an insane person being roasted in the comments section for good reason, and you now get to open the thread to see exactly why

“AITA for burning down my brother’s house?” ends up being a thread where OP rescued his small nieces and nephews from a raging drug party, accidentally knocking over his brother’s meth lab in the process and therefore setting the place ablaze; “AITA for giving my daughter a stuffed toy when she was crying??” ends with it being revealed that OP manufactures the toys himself in a sweatshop staffed by local 8-year-old orphans

I'm also presuming there's a healthy dose of the assholes doing everything they can to frame themselves as the reasonable party

oh yeah those are the best ones. sometimes op will start arguing with people in the comments and the mods have to come wrangle them up to abide by the ‘accept your judgement’ rule, and after that they just start editing the post like an angry mid 2000s fanfiction.net author to own the haters but that only infuriates the crowd more, so it ends up being like you’re in a courthouse watching the crowd go insane in support of the jury while the judge bangs their gavel for order. even if the story is fake like, you can’t beat that entertainment

The world wide hatred of Black people really makes me feel like, we might as well do whatever, since everybody is a hater

Worldwide hatred of women is pretty weird too. babe you're not cows

Long pomegranate

all i’m saying is the le creuset signature dutch oven in fig would make me normaler

Mission Accomplished, We Got Him.

"IDONTIDONTGITIT!"

pregnancy is literally a state of mind like you could get pregnant by meditating long enough

mary magdalene trying to defend that other mary in the group chat

Every time I get groceries I’m always appalled at how little you can get for like, $20. I was making banana pudding so I needed vanilla wafers but the brand name nilla wafers cost $4 a box. The minimum wage in my state is $7.25/hr. My friend put it really well when he said “imagine you work for an hour and someone hands you two boxes of nilla wafers and said ‘actually this is a bit more than what I owe you’”

How are some of y’all missing the point so bad. “Shop at aldi instead” “make your own food” “don’t buy brand name” “don’t buy unhealthy processed food” It’s not about the box of cookies. This is about how minimum wage pays peanuts and has stagnated for 12 years while the cost of living keeps growing. No one wants your financial advice about how to survive on beans and rice and frozen veggies. The smartest grocery list in the world is not gonna help you budget your way out of poverty. Please get a grip for the love of god

i feel like now is a good time to remind everyone that chris pratt is a creepy republican fundementalist christian that goes to a notoriously homophobic megachurch

worth noting: he clearly leans alt right. he follows Ben Shapiro, PragerU, Turning Point, Jordan Peterson, the Babylon Bee, and Dan Crenshaw on instagram, just for starters.

clownfish be like "i know a spot" and take you to a fucking deadly sea organism

This post would’ve been a lot better if you didn’t say the f word. Grow up.

GRIMES AND MUSK BROKE UP?