in my jellyfish era

how the fuck can someone just stop loving you i don’t understand

why would you ask a depressed person how they are feeling just to be frustrated when they’re answer is depressed.

about 2 weeks before my uni shut i went to see a counsellor. i cried for 40 mins just in the triage appointment and she refered me to therapy. i was allowed 6 sessions but got 0 because of uni closure n that. my mental health has rapidly depleted since lockdown and i feel like how i did when i was a teenager and everything was awful, i hate myself beyond recognition and feel like a disgusting burden. i wanted to get this off my chest. i am blessed my family and friends are safe and well and i understand how many many people are in a much worse situation. but thats hard to understand when you feel like you deserve nothing.