stand by me

the two major views i gathered from the internet for this show before i actually watched it were "damn there are no kiss scenes even tho its obviously a romance boohoo" and "this is not a romance cause its a qpr boohoo"

might i suggest a secret third thing: both?

the only real puzzle piece to be examined here is ryu. the last episode makes it plenty obvious where yohan's heart lay in this relationship: he was in (romantic) love with ryu since the moment they met. their interaction in the church scene was what spun the gay gears in his head:

"he was trying to come in terms with something, something i could never come in terms with."

What he says next cements it in stone too: that he didn't really get why he could save ryu even tho they were strangers;

"But thinking back at it now, my heart had already been touched by that point."

yadi yadi yada, loads of romantic montages of yohan staring at ryu in that very particular flashback-of-love common directorial choice. wtv.

so coming back to ryu. if i were to assume that ryu was meant to be alloromantic and loved yohan in the same way that yohan loved him, i have two (and a half; i shall get to this later) contenders for this:

a) arata. when ryu goes to meet him after hes woken up in the hospital, arata claims that ryu did not stand up for arata back then because he was "trying to protect himself". this seems to establish that ryu knew of his homosexuality and actively distanced himself from arata to not face the burdens of prejudice.

b) yohan. bringing back the quote: "he was trying to come in terms with something, something i could never come in terms with". yohan claims that when ryu says "being liked scared me", he meant that he feared the implications of possibly liking back a man.

the problem with both these claims is that they're 👏 not 👏 made 👏 by 👏 fucking 👏 ryu 👏. frankly, they do not hold any water to me precisely because they just make arata and yohan sound like unreliable narrators. this is what they think ryu feels.

so what does ryu feel?

we have a very weak contender for possible alloromanticism (hence the 0.5) from ryu's end. when ryu finds out the picture book yohan left behind in their countryside home in ep8, there's a flashback-montage with ryu and yohan's moments and a very specific knowing smile that could be read as a "recognition" of romantic feelings. the reason its a weak contender is simply because we have this one scene v/s the hundreds of other scenes which lead me to believe:

ryu was always meant to be aromantic.

ryu says "being liked scared me". scared why? cause he didn't know how to reciprocate any feelings he could never feel, arata or otherwise. the biggest thing that cemented this for me is the sheer lack of ~romantic~ montages the show presents when showing yohan from ryu's pov. he speaks of love, but its not the same kind of love yohan speaks of.

further, every mention of yohan focuses not on the person himself, but on the greater concept on companionship.

when i cried, it was because i was looking at something beautiful and you were by my side. because then, whatever you were looking at, i would wanna look at it too, always right by your side.

and most importantly;

and wherever we go, and anything we do, may we never be alone.

this final quote hits any leftover nail not yet hit. ryu always speaks of connection, bonding, lack of loneliness and companionship. never once does he verbally stray into romantic territory.

the final element, then, that cements his aromanticism is the lack of a kiss scene. it is not a "misstep" as much as it is the entire point. there is no kiss scene precisely because yohan and ryu aren't on the same page. it would make no sense for them to kiss, because that's not how ryu sees him.

but. clearly yohan had no qualms with his romantic love being reciprocated by a queerplatonic one. rip yohan you would've loved advanced medical technology.

i would also like to point out that if aromanticism is to be considered the "grey area" between alloromanticism and platonic, there lies a parallel wherein yohan asks ryu whether he wants children. ryu says, "i've never thought about it". ryu never asks this question back to yohan, but its plenty clear he adores children and wanted one of his own (hence his intense adoration of kanau). yohan's love for children mirrors his romantic attraction; ryu's ambivalence towards children mirrors his ambivalence towards romance.

(it must also be noted that this would, then, also serve as a euphemism when yohan accuses ryu of not pulling enough weight in taking care of kanau.)

so there, dearest reader. i mean, its still a qpr and all, no doubt, but it is very much true that yohan did like ryu romantically and that ryu very much adored yohan, just not in the same way.

in a way, both inside the show (the characters) and outside the show (us, the viewers), we're burdened by the singular fact that we both live in a society that hasn't yet normalized non-alloromantic forms of love. the quest of us, the viewers, and the characters themselves, to desperately label the relationship, when no boat's sinking if we don't, is inadvertently whats causing all the drama on mdl discussions/reviews and the show itself.

Arata, I'm sorry.

The moment I stepped into the ring, I tried not to look at the crowd. I had a feeling that everything was about to begin.

this raging light. ch 1/?

Well, well, well, grab something to eat, something to drink, get all comfy because this is going to be a long one.

Tbh and unfortunately, I kinda expected to write something like this bcs this has been an issue for years in this communauty so I'm not surprised by the response, but still, I am slightly disappointed that we have to have this conversation in 2026. Regardless, I insist on writing this analysis bcs to me, it is important.

Just a little pitch of the show before we dive into it: Soul mate - 8 eps - follows Ryu and Hwang Johan who meet in Berlin under odd circumstances. The series spans a few years of their lives where we follow their adventures in Berlin, Japan and Korea.

Ok, so...people on the internet, a lot of them, too many of them actually, are trying to completely erase the queerness of this show, howling how they've been fooled, they've been wronged by the director and screenwriter, merely because guess what, there is no sexual intercourses, no kisses, no physical touches.

Wow, surprising yeah? [sarcasm]

Some say the queerness is subtext and while I agree some of it kinda is, especially in the physical acting, most of it is not. The queerness is in the text, it is actually present in the dialogues, it is explicit. Hwang Johan is canonically gay and one of the first introduction to his personal world and life is showing him being a regular in the gay bar, his gay friend owned. Mind you, a gay friend who teases him about this new person that makes him smile and happy, btw. A gay friend that fully embraces Ryu when he first meets him, acknowledging how important he is for Johan and that he wished they had met in different circumstances.

Besides, Johan's feelings toward Ryu are quite explicit from his early on flirty behaviour to his sweet attentions that scream domestic and partners for life.

When it comes to Ryu, his queerness is the first thing introduced in the series and you can read more in my Eps analysis but throughout the entire show, his queerness is there, in his words, his actions, his interactions but especially on how his friends, mostly Sumiko, perceive him and eventually accept him. It engulfs his entire being and of course is the seed of his relationship with Johan. He cares too, bcs he is as flirty and knows Johan is special enough to meet his family.

Now, don't get me wrong, evrything in this show is not great and the lack of physical intimacy can be a valid critique but simply not for Soul Mate. Imho, we could have been disappointed by the small running time for each episode and how it didn't allow to develop certains aspects of the story, for example asexuality, unconventional family dynamics. We can complain about the acting, the cinematography, the dialogues. Hell, we could even complain about the tragic shift of the ending because of course, I would have preferred for it to have a proper happy ending bcs media definitely lack queer happiness and joy, on that we agree 100%. However, removing the queerness of this show only bcs of its ending and the lack of physical intimacy is where I draw the line and where, for me, it is disrespectful.

Soul Mate quite literally followed some of the most classic romantic tropes so why am i seeing people saying it is is not?

In the end, what mostly pisses me off is that if Ryu was a woman, this conversation would not even be on the table. The tragic ending would not have been a mean to discredit the obvious love between the main leads and that is the issue, that is where it is wrong.

Don't you dare remove the love, the affection, the care from the silly dates, the countless calls, the meals and moments spend with Ryu's parents, the talks at night, the words of encouragement, the feeling of being seen, of finally being true to yourself, of not lying to oneself and still being embraced fully, loved unconditionally and supported. Don't you dare turn to void the smiles and laughs, the long nights and walks, the beautiful art of offering your heart, your soul, and protecting it like it is the most important thing for you.

Being with Ryu was Johan's truest form of happiness. Having Johan by his side, was for Ryu, token of never feeling lonely, bcs it did not matter where he was in the world or what the sceneries looked like, bcs, every single time and in every single one of them, he would see Johan there.

We literally see that in ep 8. How more obvious it should be.

Being with each other meant they would never feel alone. They had seen so much together, had so much fun, declared their love to one another in their fucking respective languages, had went through SO much and still they would chose each other regardless. They chose each other, again and again, even until the end.

This is what Hwang Johan did and felt. This is what Ryu did and lived. With each other. Them two. So don't do that just because it is two man and they don't kiss. Don't. Just don't.

Essentially, it is disrespectful to dismiss the queerness of this show or to speak about it as a mere bromance when so many scenes, and the characters are purposefully written as queer and canonically queer. Let alone all the parallels with the only heterosexual married couple being made left and right, further showing how that heterosexual relationship and the one from our queer leads are equals.

Before finishing my rant, I'd like to talk about Sumiko, a very interesting, imho, female character in queer media.

She is open, accepts Ryu and Johan for whom they are. She probably is the first one to know about Ryu's sexuality. She found and created with them a communauty, a safe space for her daughter, a new way of life, a rebirth and even when they eventually end up togetherish with Ryu, she sets him free for him to go to Johan, she encourages it, she knows better than anyone what they mean for each other. I am lowkey mad as to why she waited a whole year tho I have my suspicion on why...I could go longer on her character but that's not the main point of this post so I'll stop here. All I gotta day is Sumiko clocked them queer asses since the beginning and that's periodt!

If you read until now, well thank you. If you want to read more about the queer text in details, check these out:

Ep1/Ep 2 : Fate & Souls.

Ep3/Ep4 : Mirrors & Sandcastle

Ep5/Ep6 : Rebirth & the galactic link

I resumed watching "The Vendetta of An" after pausing for a while and segueing into some of Cheng Yi's earlier fantasy dramas. TVOA is where I first discovered him but it's such a heavy themed drama that I needed a break.

I decided to check out the well-loved hit series "Mysterious Lotus Casebook". I also started on "Love & Redemption", "The Journey of Legend" and "Sword and Beloved".

Unfortunately, much as I've grown to love and admire Cheng Yi as an actor and would love to watch all of his works, I find that - with the exception of MLC - I'm not very much invested in the other three, which are full-on fantasy dramas. I'm struggling through the plot. They don't really make much sense to me. They just seem to drag on interminably. Too many extraneous details. Too long-winding. Too many deus ex machina elements or seeming coincidental circumstances. Personally, I think a lot of these extraneous details (including some of the extra characters and scenes) could have been taken out of these fantasy dramas and their plots would have made much more sense.

The three fantasy dramas have obvious romantic subplots and his female leads are well-known CDrama actresses too. Yet while I'm sure they are excellent actresses in their other dramas, these female leads just don't do it for me at all in these dramas with Cheng Yi. They can't seem to convince me about their romance with Cheng Yi's characters. I can't see the chemistry with him at all. To me, he actually has better chemistry with the character of Liu Li/Bai Wan who was his sister in TVOA, compared to the romantic partners of his other characters in those fantasy dramas. I wss more emotionally invested in that sibling love more than with the romantic ones.

I find that I enjoy watching Cheng Yi more in dramas where the romance isn't a major subplot, like in MLC. It was just introduced as part of the framework of his character journey but not a very large part of the story

Cheng Yi is best when his character is deep and complex and layered. Though it's not to take anything away from his portrayal of the fantasy heroes, but I just find that he shines more when he's doing realistic characters wrestling with their inner demons, being all emotionally tortured and full of angst. That's why I love him best as a flawed and fallen hero like Li Xiangyi or a disillusioned and vengeful anti-hero like Xie Huaian.

These characters allow him to put his skills in nuanced acting and micro-expressions to excellent use. I think of those scenes when the nonchalance and carefree expression in Li Lianhua's eyes suddenly shift to the ruthless and deadly look of Li Xiangyi. Or when Xie Huaian's brokenness and grief as he weeps over his sister's lifeless body changes in a split second as he lifts his eyes to the cold and deranged expression of a man who's past the point of no return. These are the characters and the stories that really showcase the whole spectrum of his acting skills.

For now, I think I'll just complete TVOA (which is just chef's kiss) and MLC (I adore the trio of Li Lianhua, Di Faisheng and Fang Duobing) while waiting for his upcoming dramas "Fifteen Days, Two Capitals" (with my other favorite, Lin Gengxin) and "Hero Legends".