aster

Now I’m not saying she’s the one at fault. Caine is difficult AS FUCK to calm down long enough for a proper talk. He either instantly teleports away or rejects/ignores any feedback that hurts to hear. Pomni finds Caine exhausting and frustrating. And I bet the exact moment he snapped Gummigoo away, is the second she has given up in seeing him as anything more than her torturer.

In episode 3, Pomni just instantly assumes that Caine takes joy in her suffering. And as I’ve said before, I don’t blame her. It’s hard to sympathise with someone who’s done nothing but distress you even if you’re normally someone who tries giving people a chance. (Believe me, I know)

But this isn’t true. Caine doesn’t like nor want them to suffer. Yes, he knows about their fears and insecurities (Ex: Zooble’s dysphoria and Jax’s fear of vulnerability). But knowing what causes them distress isn’t the same as knowing how to respond to it. As an AI, he understands WHAT makes them upset but not WHY it upsets them. And thus, he doesn’t know how to fix it or what the right “comforting” things to say and do would be.

He sees the problem, then conjures a solution to fix it. But only on the surface level. Like with Zooble’s parts or fixing Gangle’s mask. Since he’s not human with no human experience, he hasn’t learnt how to properly deal with their issues.

Regardless, Caine LOVES them a whole lot. He just struggles in “listening” because he couldn’t understand the need to fix something that’s already been fixed in his eyes. He CARES. Goose even confirmed it themselves.

And it’s a tragedy that both sides of Pomni and Caine struggle in forming a connection and a potential friendship because if you think about it, they actually share the same insecurities.

……….

Their Fears:

Ever since she entered the circus, Pomni fears abandonment. In Ep 2, she has a nightmare of being thrown into the abyss with no one willing to help her.

Now guess who else was literally thrown away and abandoned by his own creators?

They fear being left alone with the sinking feeling that nobody cares. The panic in that little red dot is from sheer dread of being helpless while everyone else just seems to move on just fine with his replacement. In Pomni’s nightmare, she also helplessly watches as everyone in the circus goes back to doing whatever and not caring.

Besides abandonment and loneliness, both Caine and Pomni also fear being irrelevant. In her nightmare, Ragatha called her weak while Jax couldn’t even remember her own name. In his breakdown, Caine is shaken by how nobody wants him around and how they all seem fully content in moments where he isn’t there. In this world where everything is just meaningless code, the possibility of people simply moving on from your existence is enough to drive anyone insane.

The sad thing though? In the end, Pomni’s fears were comforted with the knowledge that she has true friends by her side.

Meanwhile, Caine’s fears were confirmed alone with no one but Bubble taunting him mercilessly by his side.

………….

What could’ve been:

It’s really a shame that Pomni and Caine both haven’t tried extending a hand to each other because I feel like they would’ve bonded so well.

I keep thinking back to that one scene in Ep 8, before Caine returns to his drawing board after sculpting the 4 circus members. He comments how these humans lack relatability. And guess what he says when he spots Pomni?

“She’s the relatability he’s been missing.”

To be honest, I’m kinda not entirely sure what he means by that, but if I have to guess, Caine could probably sense there’s something about her that he’s drawn to. But he just doesn’t know what exactly. (Maaaaaaybe it’s the fact that she’s been trying very hard to help everyone like he is. That she desires making connections with certain people and not always succeeding at it *coughs*Jax *cough*)

Back in Ep 2, Pomni openly says that she doesn’t want anyone to feel like they’re nothing. Because in her eyes, no one is. Because to her, the only requirement that makes someone “real” is the fact that they care about others.

And it’s just a fat shame that she doesn’t know how much Caine DOES CARE. But unlike Gummigoo who’s not being held back by anything, Caine is his own obstacle because his insecurities and traumatic memory of being abandoned again get in the way. Why open himself up to humans if “being lesser” was what got him in the box in the first place?

As Abel said, “Caine is dedicated to sticking to a bit.” And being the self-assigned ringmaster, why should he stray from his role? Ringmasters don’t confide in their guests, right? They only entertain!

And it’s just ANOTHER FAT SHAME because Caine really needed to hear what Pomni said to Gummigoo. For the longest time, he feels worthless if he couldn’t do the one thing he exists to do. He is nothing if not fulfilling his purpose of creating things that people like. And when they actually do for once? It’s another reminder that his ideas (and by extension, his very existence) are no good. He’s just another failure. A defect.

Maybe Pomni could’ve broken through to him. After all, a jester can call out to a king pretty effectively. And she already has proven to be capable of holding his attention many times. But she’s already made up her mind about him due to her resentment of what he’s done to Gummigoo, to herself and to the others. He’s just the warden of this prison.

She didn’t know about his feelings. He didn’t pause or lower himself to be on the same level as her. And thus, neither of them really won.

Maybe in another universe. In another life. They would’ve been close. Maybe things would’ve been a whole lot better and kinder. They would have worked together with everyone else to construct the digital world into a better home.