Heart of Graces

"Yeah, of course."

"I’ll always be there for myself, right?"

"I mean, sure it’s hard now but we got through it. Everyone did..I guess it’s just hard sometimes. To look at that stuff."

He awkwardly pulled himself..literally, into him, as if seeking comfort.

"It's... not really something I like remembering, but it's a reminder that we're all safe now. That's what matters, right?"

He wrapped his arms around Asbel's back, firmly, placing his chin against his shoulder.

"I think in the end the only one I can hold onto is me right now.."

Everyone’s slipping away from us right now. 

"So..could we..you know.."

"Yeah, of course."

"I'll always be there for myself, right?"

Σ☸—}} “Yes, that is her way after all. What about Lambda?” It was always weird to bring up that subject, just knowing that ‘the seed of evil’ now and forever resided inside of his elder brother. Hubert often worried that at anytime he’d take over Asbel and laugh in their faces for being so naive, but right now all the hope they had was believing in him right?

mAMoru MAtE

I CAME ON TO LOOK AT MY DRAFTS AND I SAW YOURS AND I JUsT

IM GONNA DIE

AND THE TEARS START STREAMING DOWN UR FACe

IT RHYMEsKJSHKJKF MY TEARS ARE STREAMING

But Richard needn’t wonder for long what had prompted Asbel to come. He was easy enough to read, from body language to his manner of speech, the monarch silently observing whatever detail came to him without giving the man away himself. He waited, eyes narrowed into a warm smile, as the inevitable truth spilled out. Asbel was no liar, and even when it came down to simple matters such as this, he couldn’t seem to do it either, compelled to lay it out like it was even if there was no harm to his words. Then again, he was likely also aware of Richard’s tendency to spot his attempts, even if the young king said nothing to insinuate it.

And sure enough, it had been as Richard had assumed. A playful spirit of the past still lingering in the young lord’s heart. No matter the dedication to duty, freedom whispered loudly, at times very convincing as well. And Richard didn’t mind in the slightest, the two having spent very little time together as of late. It should be fine this one time, so long as they return to their respective work in the end. They were both deserving of a break, he would have to admit. And even if they weren’t, Richard found himself awkwardly unable to turn Asbel down, being one to drop everything if his friends called for him, even as he was practically glued to his burdens. Next to nothing could tear Richard away from it, his kingdom and his peope not considered simply his duty or responsibility, but his life. And so this spoke highly of his friends, Asbel especially, all of them having made sure he and the citizens could have a life to begin with.

The warmth bubbled in Richard’s chest at the thought of Asbel coming to visit without a thought dedicated to his work, the only reason simply being him. It was rather gratifying, filling the young king to the brim with a sort of contented joy.

When Richard's reply came, his smile became more reserved, thoughtful, and somehow while the past seemed like it might have just been days ago, it simultaneously felt worlds away, and he couldn't believe how much things had changed since then. Bringing a hand up to his lips and stifling a quiet chuckle, he remembered being led by Richard up this very same road all those years ago. Something he wanted to show us, he recalled. It had been one of the best days of his life (not including that night, when it all went wrong. Asbel didn't like thinking of that fateful evening).

He had been so foolish then. He truly believed he had the power to change everything, to help Richard change his future kingdom. At that time he had felt so strong, so self-accomplished, that he'd felt like nothing could possibly stand between them and their destination. Richard had conviction then, too, and he could still feel the pride he'd felt in his heart after hearing about Richard's dreams for a peaceful Windor. Asbel realized that now, Richard had finally achieved what he had wanted to do - and even if the process had been difficult and bloody, it was by no means his fault, and he was sure the kingdom appreciated his hard work of restoring everything back to its former state of glory. Not one of Richard's efforts went unnoticed by Asbel, and it was painfully obvious how much of a toll it took on his friend to be constantly trying to redeem himself. It hurt to watch his best friend slowly chip away at himself for crimes he had no control over, trying and trying to right wrongs he had no responsibility for, blaming himself for Lambda's actions as though there were a way to make things right. As far as he believed, things had already been righted the moment Richard was free of Lambda's influence. He couldn't stand being helpless to watch his friend work himself thin. That, then, was why he could at least hope to drag him away momentarily from that life - the life he never deserved to have, the one Asbel spent days wishing he could bear the burden of himself to save Richard the trouble - and letting him to relax away from his responsibilities as king felt more important than ever, if even only for a short while.

That thought in itself brought Asbel back to the present, where the roadside cabin and the hill beyond were slowly coming into view. Richard's curiosity seemed genuine, causing Asbel to look up at his friend, an eyebrow raised inquisitively, the smile never leaving his face.

"Don't you remember? You're the one that took me here in the first place."

He stopped, looking back ahead and envisioning the cliffside he knew would be coming into view soon.

But at this point, he barely kept his attention elsewhere, only following as his friend took him out of the castle and out into the city, towards their destination further away from it.

Richard really must have looked awful, at the very least this was a thought crossing his mind as he had stepped foot outside. In one last attempt to appear as he should, he moved his hand through blonde strands again.

Of course the answer was rather obvious, considering this wasn't the first time he'd done it; in hindsight he knew that Richard probably knew that also, but the words had come out and sealed his fate before he even realized what his lips had mouthed for him.

It didn't really matter too much, though. After all, the King really looked as though he needed this break, and as both his loyal knight and his loyal friend, it was his duty to see to it that he got some time out of the city. He'd protect him if anything went wrong, so there was no cause for worry, really. Besides, even Asbel himself was itching to just take this day and spend it with Richard. So whatever arguments his subconscious could have possibly made, he had a way to justify himself and that was reason enough to do what he did.