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Pawsitively Yours Leon x Puppy - Hybrid Fem! Reader
Warnings: age gap, daddy kink, fingering, breeding kink, slight mention of virginity, spanking, degradation
Summary: Leon's new puppy treats him to a relaxing bath after a stressful mission.
Words: 5.1k
a/n: this one took me so long to do omg. rewrote some paragraphs like three times. but anyway, hope you enjoy!!!!
December has started, and with it came the heavy rain fall and bone chilling winds. Leon makes his way to the nearby convenience store, trying to be as quick as possible before the sky starts getting upset again. Bundled up in his coat and boots, he can see the white smoke like fog that forms after each breath.
His nose froze long ago, and heβs only been out of the house for five minutes. His once functional nose now turning a rosy shade of pink along with his cheeks. And so, he opts to breathe through his mouth a bit till he reaches the warmth of the store.
Milk, eggs, bread, milk, eggs, bread, milk, eggs-
His mind keeps repeating, in order to not forget anything. Writing a list would have saved him so much back and forth, but heβd rather do that than give in and actually write one down. Itβs actually impressive how stubborn a man can be.
The glowing lights from the festive decoration on the streets are single handedly illuminating his way to his destination. Christmas is right around the corner, and people are filled with excitement and glee. For Leon on the other hand, Christmas is another cold winter day with the advantage of things being half off the next day.
Maybe itβs the traumatic events that he went through, or maybe itβs the fact that he barely has anyone around to celebrate this once in a year holiday with. But Christmas is not as special as it once was.
Opening the glass door, he steps into the warm space. Breathing in comfortably for once without the feeling of pins and needles tormenting him from the icy air.
It doesnβt take him long to grab the items he initially came in here for, while picking up a bottle of whiskey along the way to keep him company. It was calling his name from the wooden shelf it once stood on, and it was fifty percent off. So, heβs technically doing something good. He places his belongings on the register, while making small talk with the old cashier. The man in front of him says something about the weather, old man talk, and as time passes by he is actually starting to like these types of small conversations more and more.
He's definitely getting old.
The yell of an employee interrupts their conversation, alerting everyone around and addressing a customer that sprints out the store with unpaid items in hand. He thought the officer inside of him died a long time ago, but apparently not. He starts chasing the individual, down the street into an abandoned alley way. When suddenly the clanking sound of cans ricochet through the eerie alleyway, as some of the cans their holding slip from their grasp and onto the concrete floor.
He tries his best to not step on any of them. Which shouldnβt be too hard if this damn alley way wasnβt so fucking dark. He canβt see shit in front of him. Itβs practically almost pitch black and the person heβs chasing is wearing a black jacket with the hood up. Heβs chasing shadows at this point. Hopefully he is even chasing someone in the first place and isnβt having another one of his hallucinations. Running out the store like a crazy person.
All he does know however is that whoever heβs running after is fast, real fast. Heβs almost out of breath kind of fast. The I hope they slip so this can be over kind of fast.
His prayers mustβve been answered cause instead of them slipping, they found themselves reaching a dead end. Theyβre movement ceases and they freeze in place looking at the stone wall blocking their way out.
He stands behind the hooded figure, their back turned to him.
βTurn around.β He orders, voice stern and intimidating. The thief turns around slowly, eyes facing the ground and full of guilt.
βTake that hood off.β Shaky hands comply, revealing their identity. They look up at him, andβ¦ are those dog ears?
Your eyes make contact with his, tears brimming in your eyes, reflecting the yellow light coming from the nearby and only street light, horrified of the thought of what is going to happen to you next. Your ears are droopy and wet from he can only assume the previous rain. Eye brows furrowed and your tail from what he can tell is now hiding between your legs, covered by your oversized jacket. The jacket is two to three sizes too big for you, canβt tell if thatβs a fashion choice. Heβs not up to date with todayβs fashion trends. Youβre a hybrid. A homeless one, judging by the state of your clothes and hair.
Regardless of the disheveled appearance, youβre a real cutie. Practically begging him silently to pretend like he didnβt catch you, and let you go on your merry way. His eyes drop down to see what youβre holding in your arms and finds three cans of tuna there. You poor thing, hungry and shaking from either the cold or from the possibility of going to jailβ¦ or the pound. Heβs not sure where they deal with your kind.
He steps closer, and immediately senses the he picked the wrong choice of action as you start growling. Taking the hint, he backs off and nods slowly raising his hands up, making you stop.
The sound of running footsteps enter into the alleyway the two of you are standing in.
βYou caught them?β the employee from earlier asks. Your eyes move over to them then back to him. Leon is a firm believer that stealing for hunger isnβt a crime. You were stealing tuna cans for fucks sake, the cheapest kind too. Not a lavish necklace worth millions.
βYeahβ¦β he can hear your brain cogs working, thinking about how you will get yourself out of this situation. And he could swear that he heard a whine leave your mouth. Hybrids are looked at as a minority, either locket away in cages or poked in labs. And thatβs if they werenβt causing trouble. He doesnβt know what the law would do to you in your caseβ¦ but itβs most definitely not humane. After a moment, he speaks again, not taking his eyes off of you.
βHow much did those cans cost?β
That incident was four months ago, and ever since that day he decided to take you in. Leon was very adamant on the idea of not adopting any pets, not having the time to take care of them. But he figured that since your half human, it wouldnβt be too bad.
The first couple of weeks were hard. Youβd lock yourself in your room and hide under the covers when heβs home. Youβd growl if he tried touching you, and in general was having a hard time adapting to your new space. Leon however, remained as patient as possible. Giving you your time to feel comfortable, and always made it clear that heβs not a threat to you. Although he canβt really blame you for thinking he is, after all, having a man chase you down and corner you in an alleyway isnβt the best first impression to make.
He doesnβt know much about your background. Whether you were experimented on in a lab and somehow managed to escape, or simply tossed into the streets. But itβs clear that your days before meeting him werenβt the brightest. Matter a fact, he didnβt even know what your voice sounded like for the first 3 weeks, and just assumed that your breed didnβt have the capabilities to speak.
Nevertheless, you decided to break this cycle of keeping him away, when he once came home and sat on the couch. You were laying down on the floor on the further end of it. And to his surprise, decided to walk towards him, laying down and placing your head on his boot, instead of scurrying away into your room.
Leon has fought some of the most gut-wrenching bioweapons, designed to end a manβs life in a matter of seconds and managed to end them without breaking much of a sweat. Yet, this is his biggest achievement yet. You wanted to be next to him, instead of telling him to fuck off like usual. With your eyes of course, he still hasnβt unlocked the dialogue option with you at that time.
Ever since then, youβve made small steps of opening up to him. And now, heβs the center of your universe, the main attraction, your favorite toy. Pawing at him for belly rubs, standing at the door, ready to greet him, as soon as you hear the jingle of the keys, and needing his attention 24/7 whenever heβs home.
You are now a completely different pup compared to the one he found wet and cold in a sketchy alleyway a few months back. Youβre playful and energetic. A pain in the ass to take to the doctor for checkups, but nonetheless, a perfect companion for him. Leon likes to believe that youβre a gift sent to him, an early Christmas gift to light up his gloomy days. A thing he never knew he needed.
Ever since you stepped into his life, leaving paw prints behind, he started getting better without even knowing it. Instead of spending nights self-loathing and mourning the person he couldβve been, downing beer after beer. He spends that time now playing with you and watching movies together. Colorful ones though, your attention span isnβt the bestβ¦
He anticipated that you would have dog-like characteristics, and you do. Going crazy over squeaky toys, sniffing him for a good fifteen minutes after he comes back home, being obsessed with his shoes and hiding them under your bed, and tilting your head to the side when youβre confused.
Pure innocence, pure puppy innocence is what you are. Which is the reason that made him feel like a creep for his dick standing up whenever youβd sneak into his bed at night, cause you had a bad dream. Wearing skimpy shorts that did nothing to hide your ass, and a tight floral tank top without a bra. Your pouty lips, and soft-spoken voice. Your pretty eyes, and delicate skin.
βLeonβ¦I had a bad dream; can I sleep with you?β Is all he would hear coming from the direction of his bedroom door. You donβt even bother waiting for him to answer, and instead climb into his bed, tangling your self around him. Head nuzzled into his chest, one of your arms and legs draped over his body. It doesnβt even take you longer that a minute to be fast asleep, leaving him an achy mess without even knowing it.
In addition to how youβd sit on his lap while watching a movie. He hasnβt taught you boundaries yet, knowing you, youβd get upset and give him those kicked puppy dog eyes for shooing you off his lap. Cause it makes his dick fucking hard.
It wouldnβt be such a big deal if you stayed still for once. He swears that you canβt stay in one position unless your asleep. As long as that cute little brain of yours is conscious, youβll keep squirming on him lap, again with those frilly white skirts and revealing shorts, like he isnβt on the verge of losing it.
Worst part of it all, how your cunt always seems to be so wet all the time. Feeling it seep through your panties and onto his pants, making him want to die on the spot. The way your underwear will always have massive wet patches on them whenever he does the laundry. Is that even normal?
β§Λβκ·κ¦οΈΆοΈΆοΈΆοΈΆοΈΆκ·κ¦οΈΆοΈΆοΈΆοΈΆκ·κ¦οΈΆοΈΆοΈΆοΈΆοΈΆκ·κ¦οΈΆοΈΆοΈΆοΈΆοΈΆκ¦κ·β§βΛβΉ
Today he came back home after being away for three weeks. Opening the door, he doesnβt find your figure standing in front of him, with a flashy smile on your face, showing off your sharp canines. Twinkling so perfectly like you didnβt suck his bank account dry with those toys off yours. He raised his eyebrow at your absence and whistled hoping your pick it up in case you havenβt heard the sound of the front door opening. Which is pretty unlikely.
Dropping down his bag in the hallway, he walks over to the living room. The older man inspects the area, calling out for you, yet there is no sign of you. Kitchen, same thing. Itβs not till he reaches the dining room till he spots out of the corner of his eyes the sight of your fluffy tail sticking out from under the table.
A grin creeps up on his face as he walks towards your hiding spot. He stops a few inches away from where you are and pretends like heβs still looking for you.
βOh my god, I canβt find her!β He exaggerates, and watches over at how your tail starts wagging.
Cute.
βWhere could she possibly be!!β it starts swishing left and right even harder, hitting the chair legs that are on either side of it.
Thump
Thump
Thump
βIs she under the dining table?β
β¦
βOr is she in my room?β
Thump
Thump
Thump
Youβre adorable.
βOh well I give up. Guess Iβll never find her.β He says throwing his arms defeatedly and turns around to exit the room.
βBoo!β Jumping out from under the table, you reveal yourself. Your arms extending and grabbing his leg. He chuckles and you look up at him with a beaming smile.
βDid I scare ya?β
βReal good, sweet thing.β He replies and crouches down to your level, rubbing behind your ear. Your favorite spot. He helps you get up and you waste no time beginning to sniff him near his shoulder. Face scrunching up at the smell and your eyes meet his again.
βDid you swim in the sewers again?β you ask rubbing your nose.
βI-β¦ yeahβ
Itβs a long story okayβ¦He needed to get to a certain point but the normal way was blocked so he had to-
Whatever.
Your head nods up and down slowly, knowing your nose is never wrong.
βIβll go shower.βΒ He replies, and your eyes light up.
βWant me to help?β You ask excitedly, your tail wagging intensely. βIβll help you take a bath, and Iβll let you use my rubber duckies too!β
βNo honey I-β
You give him those eyes. The βyou wouldnβt be mean and break my frail puppy heart would you?β eyes. The eyes that make the strongest agent in the United States, weak. And to no oneβs surprise, he gives in.
βFine, but you only prep the bath and then leave, okay?β
βDonβt you want me to wash your hair like you wash mine?β
βNo.β
βOkay.β
βOkay what?β
ββ¦Iβll only prep the bath and leave.β That took you longer to answer than he would like. βPromise? βHe asks.
ββ¦β
βPromise?β
βPromise.β
He nods, making sure that you understood what he was saying. And as soon as you get his approval, you sprint to the bathroom and the sound of the tub being filled follows pursuit.
He sighs, shaking his head with a smile. Walking to his bedroom, he grabs a freshly cleaned towel before making his way to the bathroom. Your figure is kneeling on the floor, hands grabbing the edge of the tub, watching as it fills with water and bubbles.
Turning around, you smile with a tail wag and turn off the faucet once the water has reached the amount, he usually puts for you.
βItβs ready!β He nods and you start to make your way to the door. As you do, he grabs the edge of his shirt and begins lifting it revealing the bare skin beneath. You stop in your tracks and he notices, your eyes looking at his defined muscles without even blinking.
βOut!β
βOkayyyβ You whine, brows furrowing as you slowly close the door. Not before taking a final look of course.
He continues undressing and walks over to the tub, it has some bubbles and a couple of rubber ducks floating on top of it. Placing one foot in, the water is a little too hot, but not bad considering it being your first time doing something like that.
The water level rises as he soaks his entire body, feeling his muscles relax. Soothing his aching muscles and bones. A moment later, he pulls himself fully under the water, and then comes back out, pulling his hair off his face, giving him a slicked back hairstyle you always make fun of him for.
The smell of soap and the feeling of finally being safe after three hellish weeks grounds him as he closes his eyes. Once he reopens them, one of your rubber duckies is looking at him.
God, this is a bit weird.
He grabs it and inspects it, itβs mostly in good condition except for a few bite marks here and there. Wonder who those belong to. He examines the duck for a few more minutes, taking in its yellow body and orange beak. You go crazy over these things, he practically needs to drag you out of the tub each time because of them.
The silence around him is broken when he hears the sound of the door slightly opening which is followed by a cold gust of wind. He looks over and sees one of your eyes looking into the room.
βWhat did I tell you?β He says, but you donβt respond. Thinking you can trick him into thinking that youβre not there, just like how you still think he couldnβt see you back when you were hiding. And to think your breed is supposed to be one of the smartest. Β He calls out your name, making you speak and pull the bathroom door open exposing yourself, kneeling next to it.
βI wanted to see if you were having funβ¦β
βI am now leave.β He says, tone trying to show seriousness. You donβt listen and in lieu, start crawling towards the tub.
βAre you listening to me?β He speaks again, but it falls to deaf ears. How can he blame you for not listening when he has never disciplined you. Spoiled brat. Ever since he picked you off the streets and claimed you as his own, he has not even once, raised his voice or gotten angry at you.
You crawl over and place your head on the edge of the tub. Heβs honestly shocked at how shameless youβre being.
βThat oneβs name is Jerold.β Your voice says, pointing at the duck he forgot he was holding. A pathetic attempt of trying to change the topic. He looks at the duc- Jerold then back at you. Smiling so sweetly with a halo above your head like you just didnβt break his word.
He sighs, realizing there is no use in wasting his breath and places Jerold back in the water. Looking over back at you, he notices that youβre no longer watching his face, but at something else intensely. Curious, he follows your eyes and realizes at what caught your attention. The bubbles in the bath decided to migrate to either side of the tub, making his crotch completely exposed to your prying eyes.
Youβre are not even blinking, a thing you do when youβre thinking too hard about something. The snap of his finger cuts your thread of thoughts, making you jump as you look back at his face, the place you should only be looking at from the get go.
βPrivacy?β
Your ears go back in shame, itβs like you didnβt even realize that you were staring.
βSorryβ¦ The water just looks nice.β He raises a brow at you. You are a pervert and a horrible liar.
βThe water.β He repeats, showing you how ridiculous your lie was. You remain silent for a while, but start getting a bit fidgety. Looking around and getting up and sitting down again, the same way you act when heβs about to give you a treat.
βCan I get in the bath?β You say impatiently. Youβve always loved bath times, and pools, and lakes, and every single body of water that has ever existed. So, this is not unusual for you to ask, but he canβt help but feel like your intentions arenβt pure.
βNo.β
βWhy?β
β¦
Good question. Why not? He does think youβre the cutest thing heβs ever laid his eyes on. He has fantasized about you before, something he doesnβt like admitting. He has checked you out a few times tooβ¦ you were once again, wearing flimsy clothing, prancing around him, licking his neck and begging him to touch you and give you rubs. At the end of the day Leon is a man, who is guilty of thinking with his dick a time or two.
But he always resisted his urges. Locked them away in one of the rooms in his mind next to other gruesome core memories and throwing away the key. You were his baby, heβs supposed to protect, care, and provide for you, not fuck you.
By the time the voices in his head are fighting each other, you were quick to take off your clothes. And next thing he knows youβre in the tub with him. He goes to protest against what youβre doing, but you straddle him and place your head on his shoulder.
If that was your plan to shut him up⦠it worked. You feel warm and soft. The plush of your breast pressing up against his chest as he watches your chest rise and fall. Maybe this is wholesome, not like the two of you are naked and he could practically feel your cunt on his dick. No no no, that would be absurd.
He places his hand on your back, and moves it up and down soothingly. Why is he even rubbing your back? You disobeyed him, shouldnβt he be pissed? The two of you sit in silence for a while, before you remove your head off his shoulder. Arms still on either side of his neck, your eyes meet his. Dropping from his sky-blue eyes, over to his wet lips. Fuck.
You lean in. Fuck fuck fuck.
And you kiss him. Possibly the most delicate kiss heβs ever experienced. Full of pure affection. He doesnβt push you, he doesnβt pull back, he doesnβt lecture you about boundaries. But instead, he takes it. All of his attention on your mellow lips and light breath.
You pull away, locking eyes together. And he sees the blood rushing to your cheeks. Did he ever mention that you were cute? You anticipate him lecturing you, yelling at you, or even kicking you out, for what you did. But he doesnβt.
Remember that voice that was telling him that this is weird? Yeah, it can go fuck itself. He leans in and kisses you lips again. You let out a soft breath at his action, and he can hear the sound of your tail wagging once again even when itβs submerged in water.
Splash
Splash
Splash
Once more, your lips disconnect and you start shifting your hips above him. His dick has already started rising ever since your lips made contact with his.
βCan I wash your hair now?β he laughs.
βSure, why not.β
And so, you do. Grabbing his shampoo bottle and squeezing some product on your hand before lathering in on his head. Your fingers work the product into his hair, before grabbing the nearby shower head and rinsing it off. The masculine aroma of his shampoo fills the small space as he decides he might as well give you a bath while heβs at it. He goes to grab your shampoo before your hand stops him.
βI want to use yoursβ¦ wanna smell like you.β His heart could burst out of his chest at this moment. This shouldnβt have turned him on this much, but alas it did. Without complaints, he does what you want. Repeating the same process, you did on his hair earlier.
It doesnβt take long before the two of you walk out the tub. He pats you dry with his towel then himself. This went over rather smoothly, see wholesome just like he said. Everything is under contro- youβre rubbing your thighs together.
βLeonβ¦β Your soft voice calls out to him, grabbing his attention. He hums in response and looks over at your eyes. Stepping closer, you place a soft lick over his collar bone before beginning to kiss the area. Your hand creeps up the side of his neck over to his jaw, coaxing him to accept your touch. And you almost managed to do that, till those voices in his head barged in once again.
He grabs your hand gingerly and whispers. βBaby, I donβt know if we should do this.β
You whine, mouth stopping its assault on his neck to speak. βPlease, wanted you to breed me for so long.β
Once again, those voices get thrown out the window, as the words you just said make his brain short circuit. Cursing under his breath, he smashes his lips against yours harshly driving you up the bathroom wall.
You kiss him back fervently. Hands cupping his face as his chest closes the proximity between the two of you. Grabbing your jaw, his hands slither down and cup your mound, receiving yet another whine from your lips. Music to his ears.
His finger then starts making firm circles around your clit making your hips buck forward towards his touch craving more. Your hands scramble around his chest, a puppy like you has probably never experienced something like this before, huh.
His tongue enters your mouth and you accept it gladly. Two of his fingers rub between your folds back and forth. Collecting the slick that is practically dripping down your thigh, your hole is practically weeping. And he groans at the slippery feeling, before plunging two of his fingers into you with ease. Your back arches and you moan into his mouth, as his fingers start moving in and out of your wet heat.
βWho knew my sweet pup was such a slut.β He says pulling your ears closer to his mouth with the iron grip he as on your jaw.
Youβre so sensitive, thighs begin to tremble at the way his fingers curl into you, and the real fun hasnβt even started. You can barely stand at this point. Realizing that, he grabs your thighs and pulls you over his shoulder and makes his way to his room. He plops you down on the bed, and you immediately roll over to your stomach, back arched, and ass up in the air like its instinct. He could get used to the sight of this, your face pressed down on his sheets and begging him to fuck you senseless.
βYou know sweetheart, I donβt even think I should breed you after youβve disobeyed me so much today.β He says, hands rubbing over your ass. And upon hearing his words your expression shifts, it feels like he just told you the most heartbreaking news you could ever receive in your whole life.
βNoo please. Iβm sorry.β
βYeah? I donβt believe that.β
βI promise, I wonβt do it again Daddy.β
Shit.
Youβre into that too.
...Oh, your nastier than he thought. Without even replying, he grabs his cock, slapping it a few times on your ass, precum forming strings connecting the two surfaces. Then bullies his cock into you making your feet kick out with a squeal. His balls are plush against your clit as he completely bottoms out inside of you.
You start drooling over the mattress, hands clutching the sheets beneath you for dear life. And without giving you much time to adjust, he starts moving. You feel so tight around him, its driving him crazy. The squelching sounds of your tight dripping pussy can be heard from a mile away. The fluid dripping from the hole that is connecting the two of you and down onto Leonβs gray sheets. Leaving wet dark gray spots on the surface. Picking up his pace, his hips slam into you harshly, pornographic moans can be heard from the two of you along with the clapping sound of your skin slamming against his.
He grabs your hips and leans in, having your back against his abdomen as he speaks into your ear.
βHere I was thinking you were innocent, not knowing what you were doing. Having your entire pussy on display for me, all wet and needy, waiting for me to fuck you full like the slut you are.β
βWanted you.β is all you can manage to retort back, voice breaking from the impact each thrust has on you. He chuckles lowly and spanking your ass making you yelp and squirm beneath him before grabbing it. The skin now, hot and red beneath his touch.
βShouldβve spoken earlier sweetheart. I wouldnβt be this rough if I wasnβt so pent up.β
Your pussy is now sucking him in even further as he rabbits his dick into you. His hand moves over and under you, making its way to your clit. Pleasure is slowly but surely fogging up your brain, no thoughts other than Leon floating around in your head.
βBe a good girl and cum for me. And maybe then Iβll breed you.β And just like that, your thighs shudder beneath you as your pleasure blurs out your vision. The idea of being full of Leonβs pups making you see stars.
The tightness that you are gripping Leon in, in addition to your walls spasming around him, makes him tighten his grip on your hips leaving bruises there. His release ensuing yours. You bite your lip at the hot liquid being spurted out inside of you. Making you feel warm on the inside. Leon groans at the intensity of his release, one he forbid himself from for such a long time.
He thrusts a few more times, distributing his cum evenly inside you, and pushing it further up your cunt. He lets out a breath at the sight, one he canβt believe is seeing.
Plopping a delicate kiss on the middle of your back. He pulls out with a squelching sound from both your fluids combined, forcing a whimper out of the two of you at the discomfort. He walks over to the tissue box he keeps on his bedside table, and helps you clean up the mess. Throwing away the dirty napkin and laying down on the bed next to you, his arms open and inviting you.
You cuddle up against his chest, and he places a soft peck on top of your head.
βThanks for the bath sweetheart.β
divider by: @/picopipi
βpdf fileβ βunalivedβ βgrapeβ βcornβ what if i killed myself right here right now
imagine you read the local newspaper and in the section where they discuss a recent murder they describe it as βyoung adult unalived by serial game enderβ. like youβre a toddler surrounded by adults who need to watch their language around you. youβre sanitizing and cutting down gruesome, horrific actions and situations into digestible baby words. i know this has been said before by other people but iβm so so sick of it dude, donβt speak advertiser language to me.
why are so many automatic soap dispensers so shy
come on, belovedβ¦ You know i am hereβ¦.

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born to marry him, forced to read fanfics about him
Hello! I am writing a guardian angel fic and was wondering if you have any prompts that can help me. Thanks a lot in advance (βΏ^βΏ^)
Hello! Do you have any guardian angel prompts? Also, Have great day (βα΄ββΏ)
Hi :)
I assume, this is the same question and anon as they were very shortly after each other, so I will do them together.
Guardian Angel Prompts
Itβs nice to be safe, but why does your guardian angel have to hold your hand all the time to keep you safe?
For an angel, your guardian seems to be very aggressive at times when it comes to saving you.
Your guardian angel has shown to be very lazy and you try to get a new one.
Itβs their first day after the academy and they desperately try to be the best guardian angel and save their human from every possible danger. Even if itβs from things that the human doesnβt think is that dangerous.
This guardian angel has very unconventional methods to protect their human.
Sometimes when you do stupid stuff, you just know your guardian angel will be disappointed in you.
Your guardian angel is still in training and it shows.
Being the guardian angel of an extreme athlete is not an easy job.
Having a fight with your guardian angel is not a good start for the day.
Sometimes guardian angels donβt have a lovely singing voice and a set of fluffy wings, sometimes they have a deep frown on their face and a very bad attitude.
It feels like this human just doesnβt want to be saved.
People normally donβt meet their guardian angel. Which makes it very suspicious when yours comes to your door.
Who needs a guardian angel, when you can have a half-decent demon? (#248)
I had fun coming up with them and that last prompt is one of my all-time favourites from my blog!
- Jana
umbrella scientist miri π€
slowing intuiting the rules and goals of solitaire through trial and error on what the computer does and does not let me do rather than looking up the rules because it's a much funnier way to learn
just learned you can move cards between stacks. how lovely
i did it.
Yay!
What have you learned about how solitaire works?
FIRST RULE OF SOLITAIRE: aces are useless. put them on the top right. SECOND RUE OF SOLITAIRE: two's are about as useless as aces. discard them to the ace pile as soon as possible THIRD RULE OF SOLITAIRE: it's hard. FOURTH RULE OF SOLITAIRE: it's really hard; FIFTH RUlE OF SOLITAIRE: you need to make the cards count down. But watch out. You must Alternate The Colours FOURTH RULE OF SOLITAIRE: make if you already have a red king and only have one more spot to add a king do not add another red king. You will lose. SIXTH RULE OF SOLITAIRE: make sure to do every possible move with cards already on the board before adding cards from your draw pile. You WILL screw yourself over SEVENTH RULE OF SOLITAIRE: good luck. Don't forget to beyourself and have fun
I don'te. Know
this tiny ass taxidermy shrew is so fuckin funny to me

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i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? π" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY
i sent this meme to 7 people, and 4 of them asked me to translate for them. i legitimately do not think that was necessary.
I made this in reference to comic/game stuff but Iβm glad to see this oneβs going over well with all the writers
me writing: i am a god and reality bends to my whims
me proofreading: im too stupid to be alive

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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leon sadandemotionallyunavailable kennedy :<<<
When i first drew this i made him like way too buff and then i had a crisis for like 6 hrs trying to fix itπππ