Out of Fire

Along with the AMAZING surprise and joy of Sunday, I have had the most wonderful week haha. This has definitely been my best birthday yet! It was a whole week full of celebration and fun! Not to mention the fact that I got to spend a whole week in Amsterdam with Anthony :) On Monday my roommates decorated the room before I woke up with balloons and a banner, and then my classmates bought a ton of treats to celebrate and surprised me after coffee break :) On Tuesday we celebrated my birthday and Anthony and my's engagement. We got to hear all FOUR sides of the story of our engagement (that's right, there's four stories to what happened haha) and just had a wonderful time of laughter and joy. On Wednesday was a national holiday (King's Day!) so we didn't have class. Anthony and I visited the Van Gogh museum in the morning (loved it) and then walked through the streets to take in some of the celebration. The streets of Amsterdam were full of people dressed in orange, street food venders, and live music. I had Anthony try kroket (Dutch food) and we ate churros covered in warm chocolate and powdered sugar from the street fair. And the last pictures are from Friday when we went out to eat :) I just posted them because it was a really fun too, but not because it's a good story 😜 Along with all the celebrating and fun, God has been working things in my heart and bringing freedom! Along with this, He is being faithful to His promise to grow Anthony and I more and more in our relationship. By today (Saturday) I feel so contented and happy with the week and all it included. Thanks to everyone who made it possible, who celebrated with me, and -to Anthony- for such an amazing gift :)

This amazing man. I can't even express to you how much I love him. I tried to express it in color and shape (because that's how my brain works) but it turns out no one else understands what white and turnip-shaped means/feels like haha. So I'll stick with trying to write it out in sentences ;) I literally can't understand how much he loves me. It is 100% the most beautiful representation of Christ and the church, and we aren't even married yet! I've been given so much more than I ought to have or ever dreamed I could have and I just say THANK YOU JESUS for loving Anthony and I enough to make something so brilliant and beautiful come forth in our lives. He flew to Amsterdam just to propose to me. Oh my word, what? It's insane and I love it. I'm so grateful for the selfless love I receive from this man. He is seriously my best friend, someone I feel completely safe with and loved and respected by. Through our relationship I taste the sweetness of the Lord's restoration. And He (God) gives me freedom to delight in this carefree love :)

Wow. It's only been one week and all I can say is wow. This seminar is going to be JAM PACKED with goodness. Our schedule is so full it's crazy, but I'm quite happy to have so much to do. Sure, it might be a pretty tiring 6 weeks, but it'll be the sort of exhaustion that feels good -like going to bed after a day of accomplished work. It feels great! This week we started out with teachings on shame and breaking its power. Hey-oh! God wrecked me haha. Once again, I thought I was coming to learn how to help others and God is doing work in me instead. (I'm starting to understand that they go hand in hand.) I won't lie to you, it's been an emotionally draining week. But that's how I know (already) that my time here is going to be SO refreshing and transformational. My Daddy is quite obviously shaping and growing me even more into His image, and I am always grateful for that. Along with lectures on shame, we learned incredibly eye-opening truth about sexuality and God's plan for it. We received further understanding of the reason for male and female and the importance of both parents in developing a child's understanding of God and, consequently, him or herself. Following these two days of teaching, we learned about prophetic justice and were shown that the root of injustice is within ourselves. We can't look around at the injustice of the world until we recognize and make right the injustice we, ourselves, have committed against God. The world sees injustice as what is done wrongly against self or others, but God sees injustice as what is done wrongly against Him. With this understanding of justice, we don't have to feel overwhelmed by the problems of the world. We now know that the key to a just world is repentant and healed hearts. The Bible doesn't tell us how to solve each specific injustice of the world. However, it DOES tell us the way to be right before God (and thus bring justice to God). We know quite clearly from scripture how this is accomplished -through Jesus Christ's sacrifice and gift of life. As we continue to walk out the justice we DO know (bringing justice to God) and disciple others to do the same, we see the injustice of this world fade away as a result. At the end of the week, we heard interesting teachings on the roots of homosexuality. That's not something I'm going to try and explain on here haha, but it was extremely thought-provoking! The truth on this topic is something I have long sought after. Only about a month ago, though, did I realize that my heart was hard toward the Lord's voice in this area. Even though I claimed with my mouth that I did not know what I believed, my heart was hard and bitterly stuck on one idea. I repented of that and asked God to show me the truth. He's the only one I trust with this. I opened my heart to His answer, no matter what He said. From that day on, I've seen understanding fall before me in different ways and I know that my Papa is leading me into truth. I've thoroughly enjoyed this week of class. We've had introspection and Spirit-led healing, new understandings on justice and sexuality, and case studies to give us practical tools to minister. Along with class, we participate in weekly outreach. Our school split into two groups and partnered with different, already existing ministries on base to pray for and serve the community. For the next 6 weeks, my group and I will assist the Evangelism team with their Hidden Treasures ministry. Every Monday night we'll go out with the team to serve hot drinks to community members who have fallen on hard times and get to know residence of our neighborhood on a personal level. I see that the Lord has been shifting me into this sort of ministry throughout the past year, so I'm eager to discover what God has in store for this time and the future. As far as prayer requests, I would greatly appreciate prayers for strength and endurance through this time, as well as courage and willingness to face that which the Lord is redeeming in me through this season. I really desire to be fully present in every moment, whether it's external or internal growth. So general prayers around that would be fantastic. Thank you all so much for your love and support! God bless!

So our base is huge! This is just the Northwest side of the building as I'm sitting in the courtyard. So yes, there's just as much building behind me, plus a couple more floors and a roof with trampolines haha. It's a maze of a place but oh so lovely!

Wednesday- Friday are pretty much the same as Tuesday, except that Wednesday night (7:30) is a more chill time for a movie or class discussion. Thursday night (7:30) is “The Gathering,” which is their base worship. And Friday night (7:30) is class time. So you can see that we will be having a LOT of class and therefore a TON of information to take in and process. I’m excited to learn, but I know I’ll need prayers for focus and perseverance. Thank you for continually supporting me in prayer! As always, let me know if you have any questions.

The sun always shines brightest after rain

Perfect love casts out fear and sets the multitude free.

His freedom is for all. Pray for the broken today. Let them know that He is holy, that He will turn their brokenness into beauty and set them free.

Oh, hello there Amsterdam. Thanks for the rain.

Today's the day! I'm at the airport, waiting to board my first flight for Holland. This day definitely snuck up on me, and so I'm filled with mixed emotions-- a little uncertainty, a little excitement. No matter how I feel right now, though, I know that this next season will be INCREDIBLE. God never fails to bring something new and amazing out of each season I walk through, and I know my time in Amsterdam will be no exception. Stepping into each new season brings doubts that God will really move in me, especially when I'm just back at home. Now that I'm at the end of my three months of home time, though, I can look back and see that God purposed the time very specifically for my healing and freedom. As if I didn't get enough over DTS! This past season (three months at home) has been about uprooting fear. Upon returning home in December, I quickly became aware of the stronghold of fear over my life. EVERYTHING had potential to make me afraid, whether it be my dark bedroom or a new relationship. I realized this fear had been a part of my life since I was young --something I'd taught myself to conjure up in any situation. My wild imagination, I called it. Now I see how it had control over much of my life. At the end of January, I entered into a new relationship (yes, one with a boy) for the first time since my trauma. God was present the entire time and had a voice in every decision and yet I was TERRIFIED to agree to date this boy. Why? Fear of being controlled, fear of being held back, fear of being used --you name it. Fear kept me from entering into something God created to be good. Throughout the following months of dating (up till I'm writing this post) God continued to uproot lies and fear and throw them out. Every time a fear/wrong belief would come up, I'd freak out about it to God and He'd give me the truth. Plain and simple. I recognized something in my thinking was flawed, I asked God to show me the problem (and He did), and then I asked for truth. And He gave me truth. Like, without me doing a single thing. Literally one night I laid down to go to bed and God dropped understanding into my mind about sexuality and how it's GOOD and BEAUTIFUL (because I could not bring myself to believe that) and I had incredible breakthrough! This giant tangle of a knot in my thoughts was untwisted and laid out straight in two minutes flat, with no effort from me, save for asking for the revelation. And that's it, guys. We just have to ask. Fear is still around, but I know now not to give into it. I still get freaked out when I climb into my bed in the dark at night haha. But I feel the grip of the fear loosening, and I know this is all part of God's ingenious plan. While fear of my dark bedroom and an intimate relationship may not have any direct ties to the work I'll be doing in Amsterdam in the next two months, I see the beginnings of exterminating fear. One bit at a time, this nasty plant is losing its roots in my heart. With each segment that is cut off, I'm increasingly more free to step out in faith and do the work of the Father in the tough times and the scary places. It's so great to see the ways that God works. He ALWAYS wows me. I know He's going to do some seriously crazy stuff in the days to come. And I can't wait for that.

Nothing brings me more joy than going to where God is calling me, no matter the destination. In this season, He’s taking me to Amsterdam for further equipping in anti-human trafficking work and for the purpose of bringing His love and hope to the sold. I’m eager to see him move in these next two months ❤️🇳🇱

Looks like it's about time to go

Hey everyone! I'm very excited to announce that I have been accepted to attend YWAM Amsterdam's SHINE seminar in April. The seminar is a six week "course" on the Christian response to injustice and anti-trafficking work, as taught by experts working in the field. Along with our training, we will gain practical experience by working in and around the Red Light District. For more information, go to http://ywamamsterdam.com/en/training/shine-seminar I'm hoping to purchase plane tickets as soon as possible. I'll keep you updated on my progress and support needs. Thank you all SO much for the loving prayers and support you have always offered me! You are truly the reason why I can go out and serve.

Essentially, this post is just to give God glory. He is incredibly faithful, all the time. Ask and you shall receive! And remember, when He promises something, we can be certain that He’ll make a way. Be encouraged by this today! Don’t back down and allow the enemy to keep you from the calling God has placed on your life! If God has called you, tell Him you need the finances, tell Him you need prior commitments taken care of, tell Him you need someone to rent your house! Whatever it is, He ALWAYS makes a way for us to step out in His will —we just have to ask :)

So I’ve felt super purposed since being home. They told us at YWAM that the key to a good transition was to be proactive, and they were right! And seeking after all these opportunities is getting me pumped for future mission work! More on that to come ;)

Packed and ready to leave this beautiful home! It’s been the most amazing of times, South Africa. I can’t wait until I get to see you again ❤️🇿🇦 (at Cape Town, South Africa)