Ask The Sides

J:...I actually kind of love that.

Because you're right, they aren't typically meant to walk and you full actual people out there seem to be told you're not meant to do things a lot...by like everyone you meet, I seriously don't know how you all deal with it. But the beautiful thing is, most people are stupid and wrong about a lot of things. So f** them, do what you need to do, and look fantastic doing it. That's how you make me proud.

P: You know...this is kinda sounding like my new favorite song about the bird-

J: This is nothing like the bird flying a rocket song!

P: ...I mean it does sound like it a little.

J: Patton, darling, you are....you, and I love that, and if you play the bird song again I'm going to have to summon a rocket to strap your phone to

P: Oh...gotcha...sorry! *sinks out*

J: Also thank you, I'm happy I exist too. And you are absolutely right, I do deserve a me day! Don't we all?

L: I may have thought about it once or twice. The places I could go, the things I could learn, the PHDs I could collect *sigh*

V: It does sound kinda nice not being attatched to somebody who can..let's face it, be kind of embarassing? But I also don't think I'd last long on my own.

L: You don't?

V: Come on, I'd be awful at taking care of myself.

J: I think I'd be fantastic on my own.

V: The world doesn't need more supervillians

Re: Oooooo I could do stuff without having to fight the rest of you to convince Thomas it's worth trying!

V:...repeating my statement about the supervillian thing

J: What do you say, Patton? I hear dating is easier when both partnere shave their own distinct bodies

L: Does that come up very often?

V: I mean it does around here

P: Oh that would be a lotta fun! But I couldn't leave Thomas, I'd just miss him too darn much.

V: And there's no point in asking Roman

Ro: There isn't?

V: Obviously you'd wanna go off on your own and be a big star

Ro: Well sure, and I would be obviously, but I don't know if I could bare losing my favorite scene partner. I love getting to perform and create through him. It wouldn't be the same. Of course I wouldn't be tied to somebody whose terrible at love, that might be nice.

P: Hey he's doing okay, we're...we're working on it

-Hove (@pattons-time-capsule)

P: Oh yeah!!! Or! Or you could take some peel and cut it into little strips and make them into teeth! Like individual teeth! Or-

V: Or just stick it in your mouth to scare a little kid and then die in your garden like in the Godfather

P: Umm…ok or that

V: …did I grumble that out loud?

Ro: Uh yeah and by the way? Spoiler alert for The Godfather!

V: THE MOVIE CAME OUT IN 1972! YOU DONT GET SPOILER ALERTS ANYMORE!

P: Hey you okay, kiddo?

V: I’M NOT- *deep breathe* sorry

L: It’s the heat this summer. It makes him irritable

V: I could have explained that!

L: Apologies, go ahead

V: Stupid, isn't it?

Ro: Yes, because if there's one character Thomas is best known for, it's not the teacher character! It's not the dad character! It's not the prince! It's the weirdo in the bowler hat

J: You're just mad I thought of it first

V: Right, MORE stuff Thomas is resonpsible for that I get the stress about. THANKS

Ro: And what do you mean you thought of it first?

J: I mean I convinced him to finally just start the thing, you're welcome.

L: Also why am I the lowest tier?

J: Technically Thomas is

L: But out of us, I'm the lowest...and you made Remus the highest!

J: Oh relax, they don't say your names. Besides why are you all upset? I'm the one that does all the hard work talking to these people

P: *Clears throat*

J: I mean...keeping up with our fans

P: There ya go!

Ro: I just don't see why you get to be all over the thing

J: You're just jealous you've only had one solo livestream

Ro: BECAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR! Logan and Virgil do them all the time!

L: Because you shout all the time, it's hard on Thomas's voice

V: And all I do is play jackbox games...it is kinda fun though

Re: I'm the only one that hasn't had any solo livestreams

V: And if Thomas is smart he'll keep it that way

Spoken For ft. Kasane Teto by FLAVOR FOLEY

Ro: I don't understand the virtual singer thing. What's wrong with flesh sing- mmmm....noooo...didn't like how that sounded.

J: Agreed that was terrible never say that again

Ro: I mean if that's your thing, by all means enjoy but not for me. And I don't know if this song is any of us? I hope it isn't any of us. I hope none of us are this miserable.

J: I understand perhaps days when Thomas has to pretend to be better than he truly feels due to some sort of obligation or video related thing, but

Ro: And then it got really dark!

I got a letter for mathematics remedial class. I've been struggling but I don't want to stay more than already-tiring 9 hours. My logic is telling me to say yes but anxiety and creativity are saying no. I really need help like—just comfort.

(for admin, it's not too serious, i just need comfort from these idiots <3)

Ro: Ugh, Math. The enemy of creativity

L: …I think you mean “yay, math. The foundation of…basically everything!”

Ro: I’m only saying if you want to have a day getting in touch with your creative side, you’re probably not reaching for a calculator.

L: Ok! What would you reach for instead?!

Ro: Wow there! Uhh…I don’t know, paint?

L: And how do you think they mix up the ingredients of the paint to get the correct color?? Do you think they throw it all together at random and hope for the best? Or do you think they MEASURE with MATH-

V: Ok! We are getting off topic! Lo, he didn’t mean it. Princey, you know no better than to badmouth numbers around Logan.

L: ..apologies.

Ro: Well you did get a little loud there, but I accept-

L: I’m not apologizing for that, that was completely justified. I apologize for getting off topic. You should absolutely say yes.

Ro: Of COURSE you’d say that! But 9 hours already?? How is one supposed to pursue one’s interests, one’s passions if they’re exhausted from school?

L: I personally find school rather invigorating

Ro: But I’m assuming we’re talking to an actual person and not a man shaped computer, so let’s maybe think outside your box here.

L: Alrighr, Virgil? What do you think? They did say their creativity and anxiety were wary of the choice.

V: How could I answer that? I don’t know all the details?

Ro: Oh since when are details important when giving advice!

V: …right.

L: Virgil it’s fine, just tell them you agree with me and don’t worry about hurting Roman’s feelings.

V: I mean I do agree with you

L: Victory!

Ro: Not fair! You can’t just automatically side with the boyfriend!

L: Of course he can!

V; That’s not why I side with Logan, and it’s sure as hell not for the love of math.

L: I’m sorry I’m confused

V: Math is stressful, more school is stressful. Thomas has been out of school over a decade and this conversation is still making me palms sweat. But, if it’s like an extra math class I’m assuming that might be because it’s something you kinda struggle with?

L: Which, to be clear, there is absolutely no shame in. It’s a complicated subject.

V: But the way I see it, might be better to just take the extra class now than spend the next however much time in school feeling behind in math or science classes? Cause usually if you’re not on top of math stuff, you’re gonna suffer on the science side too. Especially chemistry. Like it’s gonna suck now, but it’ll be better than constant stress later.

L: Virgil, that was very well reasoned.

Ro: *heavy sigh* yeah…I guess that makes sense. Just as long as you save a bit of time for your inner me.

V: I mean whatever you’re gonna do, it’s gonna be okay. They have like tutors and stuff.

L: And maybe you’ll learn you actually love math!

V:…

V: Dead God, why would you do that?!

Ro: Excuse you! I think the correct response is “you’re welcome for the hours of entertainment”.

Re: You could skip the beginning chunks, didn’t get good till Janus and me started showing up.

L: I do feel sort of responsible for this person wasting time oh this silliness

Ro: How are WE a waste of time?!

J: Also they can waste their time however they want.

Ro: It’s not a waste!

L: Oh! Well…thank you! That is an immense compliment that I don’t know if I’m worthy of. And to be given such a compliment by one of my oldest and dearest collaborators!

V: what now?

L: Yes I know today it’s all about typing but back when we were growing up, if you wanted to do some real learning you needed help from good old #2

Re: *slowly starts to rise up form behind the couch*

V: HE MEANT PENCIL

V: I don’t think he has a favorite anything

P: I do too! Just not of best friends, but anything else I do!

V: Ok, how about a favorite stuffed animal?

P: Well first of all you know I don’t like it when you call them that

V: Fine! Favorite plush.

P: I’d also accept “fluffed animals”

V: You’re wasting time because you don’t have an answer

P: I do too!

V; ok. Go ahead then

P: Thomas’s Winnie the Pooh from when he was little

V: Wow! I didn’t think you’d actually have an answer

P: Mmmmmmm

V: You okay?

P: Mmmmmmaand all the others!

V: What happened to have a fav-

P: I’m not going to let anyone feel less loved! I just won’t!

V: It’s okay, Pat. You don’t have to.

L: That’s not a very nice thing to ask someone to do. Virgil, please don’t feel like you need to-

V: The schedule

L: Wow! Had an answer that fast! And it’s my passion project!

V: Schedules and deadlines cause stress. I am stress.

L: But surely you see that it’s important!

V: I mean..logically-

L: Precisely

V: But it’s still annoying. Also the notes you take on our dates.

L: Hey! I stopped doing that after you grabbed my notepad and through it in that lake!

V: I know you stilk take notes

L:…but not in front of you. Look I find them helpful, you know how I get when emotions are involved, the notes make me feel more prepared.

V: I’m just answering the question. You can do it too

L; You mean say things about you that annoy me?

V: Sure. Seems only fair.

L: No

V: Why?

L: I don’t want to? And besides you occasionally on the dramatic side-

V: Occasionally?

L: I don’t find anything annoying about you.

V: Really?

L: Why would I date somebody I found annoying? That sounds awful.

Love him🩷

Ro: Strange, seeing as he’s really the only one of us that can actually give you a stomach ache.

V: Hey! Not true!

Ro: Anxiety can’t make somebody feel sick?

V: Oh I absolutely can, but so can Remus

Re: I believe expiration dates are less instructions and more like fun facts

P: Awwwww! Well you’re one of my favorites too!

V: How can you know that?

P: Because I do

V: It was anonymous

V: Umm…well..I mean yeah, sure. Course I do. They have all this history, you know? Same could be said for the others though. I’m still the youngest. Plus there’s the whole-

I’m trying to figure out how to say this to come out the way I want it to. I’m not great at this stuff. It’s why I usually say the wrong thing. Ok they’ve accepted me, Thomas had accepted me, I’ve changed and been welcome blah blah blah. And that’s great. Honestly! It is! Buuut we all have bad days, right? Everyone does. But I know when I have a day where I’m not my best, where I’m not as kind as I could be or not on the same page with the others there’s like this unspoken THING in the air that would be there if like Roman or something was having a bad day. They’re not just seeing me, they’re seeing who I was. They’ve hurt Thomas and they’ve made bad choices and they’ve gotten it wrong, but we didn’t need a two part special to prove the world wasn’t better without any of them.

I work REALLY hard to be part of the time, like WAY harder than I’m ever going to let any of them realize and I do it because I want to and it’s important me. It’s something I choose every day, they just get to kinda exist as they are without question and I just think sometime they don’t realize how much of a privilege that is.

I don't celebrate pride month much (I'm not in the environment where I can) but most of my pride month went into reading or preparing for exams which is sad (the exams part the reading I enjoyed). But I'm free now to do whatever I want. Last year I watched but I'm a cheerleader for pride one of my favourite movies. I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on it. That's it have a good day and take care of yourselves

J: LOVE that movie.

P: Oh I remneber that one!! It was kinda sweet! I mean…ya know…for-

V: For a romcom that takes place at a gay conversion camp?

P:…yeah. But it had a happy ending!

Ro: Plus Rufio from Hook played a young gay varsity wrestler

V: I thought you’d be happy to see RuPaul. You love that show.

Ro: Wait where was Mama Ru??

V: Mike?

Ro: Huh?

V: The councelor teaching all the guys how to be straight?

Ro: No it wa- OH MY GODS IT WAS

J: That’s why the movie is my favorite.

Ro: Because you wanna see RuPaul in short shorts?

J: not quite. Because the whole movie is fake.

L: All movies are fake? Unless they’re documentaries. This was not a documentary.

J: No, but it’s a movie where young queer people are supposed to learn to be straight, right?

L: And this is one of your favorite movies?

J: Shut up. The house is spit with boys all in blue and girls all in pink, boys fixing cars and girls learning how to change diapers. I mean they live in a dollhouse, the flowers outside are fake!

V: Ok, so?

J: So they go about casting it full of icons of counter culture as the people trying to change the queer kids. The main girls parents are played by the guy who played Harold in Harold and Maude and Mink Stole

Ro: Should I know who these people are?

Re: *jumps down from the ceiling in front of Roman* Mink Stole is a dreamlander. She’s perfect and if you say anything against her I’m going to put sea monkeys in your f***ing toothpaste

Ro: Ah! Ok! holy shit!

P: Am I allowed to ask what a dreamlander is?

J: Nickname for collaborators of a director Remus likes very much whose movies you’ll never see

V: What about Hairpsray?

J: …he can watch hairspray. Point is it’s a premise based in lying to yourself so they cast all the people trying to do that with actors you’d recognize if you were queer at the time the movie came out. It’s greak. Also the soundtrack is good…and Rufio from Hook is a hot gay wrestler

Ro: Oh! Uh,...I hope it didn't sound like I was making fun of your name! I wasn't, I swear!

V: Yeah you really just need to not comment on any name, you always come off as a dick, intentional or not.

Ro: No, but I really really didn't mean to this time.

P: OH! THAT'S WHY YOU SIGN AS A LITTLE HONEY BEE! I LOVE IT! Hey, it's also the name of the little bird girl in Over the Garden Wall!

L: Which is an adapation of Dante's Divine Comedy

P:Nooo, that's about somebody going to hell. Or I think at least taking a tour? This is two little boys lost in the woods.

L: Dante actually goes to more than just hell in those stories, but yes I know. It's still a very loose adaptation.

V: Well that's the thing about anxiety, it's easy to ignore until somebody really is talking about you behind your back.

Or chasing you

or standing outside your window

Or-

L: Hold. Breathe