Ask The Head Shaker

🪭👀 Many thanks for the tag @kazzaheartsmxtx, but I don't usually play such little games!

🪭 Unless it involves using human pawns in a real-life game of revenge... 🪭

Last song I heard: Cleansing, elegantly played on the guqin by my devout san-ge as he tried to help calm his sworn brother.

🪭 ...Spitefully mixed with parts of a deadly song from the Collection of Spirit Turmoil, so that the devious Jin Guangyao could murder my beloved da-ge...🪭

Favourite colour: Anything decadent, I like to look my best!

🪭 Especially when I finally reveal my true, competent self to the cultivation world. Got to look sharp! 🪭

Last movie I watched: Bao Chou (1970) - a delightfully relatable story about one man's quest for vengeance against his brother's killers.

🪭 Though I think I did a much better job of completely crushing my nemesis, both body and soul... 🪭

Last show I saw: Oh, I don't know… probably some shadow puppet show as I shirked my clan leader duties and meandered through Qinghe instead.

🪭Jin Guangyao putting on a stellar performance as a grieving friend… What a show! 🪭

Last book I read: Urgh, I don't really read much at all, I do flick through the occasional piece of illustrated erotica... Does that count?

🪭 I did read through the Yiling Laozu's manuscripts so I could "help" Mo Xuanyu conduct the sacrificial ritual needed to bring Wei Wuxian back from the dead and further my plan for revenge... 🪭

Sweet/spicy/savoury: I don't know... I really don't know!

🪭 Whatever flavour revenge is! 🪭

Relationship status: Single and loving it! No one to complain about me not doing things, no one to whine that I'm too preoccupied with fishing and bird watching when I have duties to attend to! Bliss!

🪭 I have much more important things to contend with than finding myself a wife and fulfilling my duty to produce an heir...🪭

Last thing I googled: Hmm... local animal shelters in Langye 😇

🪭 Best way to cleanly behead something 🙀...🪭

Current obsession: Collecting fans and bird watching, of course!

🪭 Exacting revenge for the gruesome murder and disrespectful dismemberment of my da-ge's corpse 🪭

What am I looking forward to: Collecting more exquisite golden edged fans!

🪭 Seeing the look on Jin Guangyao's face when he realises he's been completely played by the bumbling "Head Shaker"...🪭

What a delightful game! Tagging @the-worst-jiujiu 😊

I'm not sure what I've done to deserve such high praise and reverence! I can only imagine you enjoy bird watching and exquisitely crafted fan as much as I do! 😍

🪭 hides behind fan 🪭

If any of you so-called fans want to form a horde of mindless minions to perform the dirty tasks a refined gentleman such as myself should not be doing...such as, but not limited to;

Killing and nailing dead cats to doors

Luring moronic children into dangerous situations and possibly their potential demise

Digging up and hiding the precious remains of people's beloved mothers

I may be persuaded to break the habit of a lifetime and take you on as an unofficial lackeys.

Or, perhaps not... I do tend to work alone, after all.

🪭 snaps fan shut abruptly 🪭

Me? You want me? The person whose brain was the last thing to develop inside their mother's womb?! I don't know about long division...I really don't know 😓

Why not ask Wei-xiong? He might help you cheat if you beg and cry?

🪭 hides behind fan 🪭

The beauty of this is there's no risk of you getting punished, because Wei Wuxian will be blamed for it all if you get caught, thanks to the wonderful classist world we live in! Excellent grade, zero consequences!

Here's my personal cheat formula, just for you!

* gasps * How very rude of you to say such things! A man's love life is personal!

* hides behind fan *

What makes you think I'm a cut sleeve? I can't think of anything that would insinuate I am...

To be honest, I am more focused on enjoying my hobbies, and revenge when the need should arise, rather than matters of the heart.

Why do people keep asking me this question? * cries pathetically * I already know it's my duty to ensure my clan thrives and I need to produce an heir! I don't need constantly reminding!

I'll settle down with a nice young maiden eventually, just let me get over the death of my san-ge and the shocking revelations that came with it.

* hides behind fan*

No. I didn't have a crush on anyone during my days studying at the Cloud Recesses. I was too busy having the time of my life, drinking alcohol, reading erotica and not having to practice my stupid sabre!

Then I was too wrapped up in seeking revenge for my poor da-ge's grusome murder.

* Wails uncontrollably *

I...*sniff* I...don't know...I...r-really don't knoooowww! * faints *

Five hours later...

* sits bolt up right and hides behind fan *

I'm as mentally stable as I've ever been, perhaps even more so. Of course, I was devastated by my da-ge's horrific, untimely death. But the need for revenge helped me through my grief. Now I'll show the world how capable I truly am and bring honour back to the Nie clan's name. My da-ge would be so proud!

I don't know... I really don't know...

* hides behind fan *

Me! For both answers simultaneously!

No, seriously... I mean, there's not much competition for the best sect leader really, is there?

An angry man so consumed by jealousy and hatred he does not have the best reputation amongst the common folk and seems to neglect his duties. A teenage boy whose temperament isn't much better than his aggressive uncle's - though he might be a threat as he matures, now he's being influence by Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, so I should keep a close eye on him... And then there's Xichen-ge! Who is a mess! Yes, perhaps a little because of me, but still!

Now I've revealed my true, competent self during the coffin sealing ceremony and have my sights set on becoming the next Chief Cultivator, I'd say I'm the best!

After a very understandable panic attack of course.

I don't know! I don't know...which year of studying at the Cloud Recesses are you referring to? I was there for more than one year, because I "accidentally flunked" and my da-ge "made me" return.

*Hides behind fan*

Or... In other words, my clever plan worked and I was able to shirk my responsibilities and score extra time to do whatever the hell I wanted to without my beloved Da-ge nagging me.

Seriously? I certainly wouldn't have a panic attack that's for sure, I'm secretly too calm and collected for that.

Nope, I barely said two words to him since the we studied at the Cloud Recesses together. Why would you think that? Very random!

*Hides behind fan*

Sect leader Jiang clearly thinks I'm a waste of space and an incompetent idiot who can't lead a sect, just as everyone else does thanks to my brilliant performance! Why would he even give me a second thought?

I drew you again! Except this time I drew you as a woman. I don't do full body drawings often so please forgive how strange it looks. I almost had a mental breakdown drawing this because of how bad it looks lol. Hope you like it tho :)

Oh wow! Art work of meeeee? How utterly flattering! Thank you so much!

* hides behind fan *

I don't know! I... erm... really like fans 🤔 A huge fan collection is definitely my biggest weakness! Oooh I love a nice golden edged fan!

* hides behind fan *

My dearly departed Da-ge was my biggest exploitable weakness... And someone already murdered him and tried to stop him from taking his rightful revenge. Now he's had his revenge, I no longer have a weakness to exploit!

I did what to cats?! Why would the Nie sect leader do such a thing?

* hides behind fan *

Yes... There are plenty of strays on the streets! I'm cleaning up the local community as well!

And by the way... I did more than just nail them to the doors of the juniors guest rooms. I put a cat corpse in their soup and left them in bedsheets as well.

I don't know...who you are referring to?

Where is this Yi City you speak of? I don't think I have ever visited such a place 🤔 Is it nice? Would I enjoy a break there? Lots to see?

* hides behind fan *

I had heard of Xue Yang being up to no good in a literal ghost town. I knew something was happening there and that it sounded dangerous.

Xue Yang is one of the reasons my Da-ge argued with Jin Guangyao, so I detest him. I was also aware of his and the Jins attempts at restoring the Stygian Tiger Seal.

Other than that, I only heard about Xiao XingChen bringing the brat to Golden Scale Tower and demanding severe punishment for his heinous crimes, only for him to get off lightly. As well as his friend Song Lan losing his sight in an act of revenge by Xue Yang and Xiao XingChen giving up his own eyes for his friend. Tragic.

TL;DR:

Xue Yang - Turd

Xiao XingChen - Cinnamon roll

Song Lan - Da-ge vibes

I don't technically know A-Qing but I feel if I did I'd probably have some respect for her as a fellow deceiver!

I...don't know

* hides behind fan *

Easy, A-Qing!