we're more alike than anyone could ever tell

TIde and sketchy, I’ll totally remember that, thanks man. Yeah, slushies totally suck as well as the puckheads who still think throwing them are cool. But it’s fine, I can deal with them myself, and besides I don’t exactly think Madison would be willing to help me out anyway. We’re not exactly on the best terms anymore.

No problem, and if you ever need any help just holler! You’re the only former Warbler that I’d help right now because you aren’t being the Kanye to the Tswizzle that is myself and the rest of the glee club. I still can’t believe they are throwing slushies again. You could report that to someone higher up because that counts as contraband as sweets and anything too sugary isn’t allowed. Just don’t get hurt because we totally need you and your skills for Sectionals and because I actually like you and wouldn’t be a happy McCarthy if you were hurt. Well, maybe you two just need some time and things will get better again. Don’t count your pom poms before they’re distributed. 

Oh right… I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t that. First of all, I love the Angry Birds reference, that’s just genius. 

Thank you, it was the first thing that popped into my head when they decided to insult us and our uniforms but I kept my mouth shut because I’m trying my best to tolerate them so we can win.

He may have the voice of a choir of angels, but he looked like Borat. We almost didn’t go to prom because he was worried about the taffeta making his ungelled hair particularly fluffy. But, it was fine, because he had Kurt. I’m not sure it’ll quite make it to Buzzfeed, but maybe… wear a hat?

Borat? That sounds like a nightmare. Never seen the movie, but from the posters that I’ve viewed through a quick Google Search  to look like that sounds like a nightmare. I don’t blame him though. Prom pictures last forever and I want to be able to view my prom pictures and not cringe every time because of terrible hair. I could try a hat, but I don’t believe I’m allowed to wear them with my cheerio uniform.

Oh, come on! You totally could! You’re just a tad too tall, though.

I’ll somehow put it into mind as a possible Halloween costume and will send you pictures if I end up choosing it. I go through about 5 different ideas of costumes per year but I’ll put it into consideration just because you suggested it. I could be the World’s Tallest Hobbit.

Private || Jake ⇄ Mason

Alrighty. Normally I don’t do things like this but the overall morale between the REAL New Directions and the Angry Birds is very problematic and there is absolutely no hope as of right now. BUT, my main focus is only on one Warbler who happens to be your best friend. This same Warbler who also happens to be highly interested in my amazing and beautiful twin sister who you know as Madison McCarthy.  There’s been some rough barriers in between them lately and I believe that helping them...mend the broken pieces could somewhat help this rift between us and the League of Angry Birds. Let’s be real, the Rydison train is too cute to pass up and I totes know that Ryder is a good guy who I know could handle Madison and appreciate how beautiful she is. Now I know what you’re thinking “Where do I come into this?” Ryder is your best friend and I know his time here since returning has been a total disaster like Hilary Duff’s comeback album but I feel as if some time with Madison and putting more flame on that spark could help the both of us out. She says she’s too busy for dating but if Beyonce and Jay Z can make their marriage work out even with their constant tours and out-of-home trips than Madison and Ryder could date without there being problems. Now, are you in? Kitty was going to be an option but you know Ryder better than her and you wouldn’t accuse me of possibly trying to sabotage their relationship because of a non-existent love love...like...weird love for my sister.

Maybe they’re like us and they have some weird Warbler pack mentality where they don’t have to talk out loud to know what they want to do, which is why they never say each other’s names and can finish each others sentences. Same! Like I’m so glad they sit on the other side of the choir room because that means I don’t have to smell it. But we should totes do an investigation. I’ll totally keep any notes and theories in my journal.

How are they able to do that when they aren’t related? This doesn’t make any sense. Are they even human? If they even try to sit on our side of the chior room than there’s going to be a huge problem. I have no problem with challenging them to a sing off because we will wipe the floor with their blazer bird selves. I’m all for an investigation because we ar ethe only ones that are willing to do this kind of thing because clearly we have the most sense right now. We could get Jane to help because I’m sure she doesn’t like them either because of their unwillingness to recognize talent. On the brighter side, I know their weaknesses. Women and water. That’ll help us if the time is ever needed.

Oh my gosh, you were slushied? Ryder, who did this to you? I know how badly hair gel mixes with certain things and I feel your pain. That is one of the lowest things someone can do and I’ll be willing to help you in any way that I can. Madison is better at getting people than me and I’m sure she’d also be willing to help. Tide and sketchy dry cleaners are your best best!

Sounds like Blaine. You should see the pictures from our senior prom, it was verging on tragic but was still pretty cute. Any chance you left it in a locker room or a class room?

Mr. Anderson could totally pull that look off way better than I could. Have you not seen some of the post about him? There are women out there that love him no matter his hair look. Even on Jacob Ben Isreal’s blog that is totally shown. Oh ym god, what if someone took a picture of my ahir the way that is was after practice and I end up on some Buzzfeed article talking about “How to totally not have your hair if you’re naturally curly.” My career would already be ruined.

I wouldn’t say that’s exactly a bad thing. Frodo’s kinda cute, you know.

You think Frodo is cute? Are we looking at the right movie interpretations? Because I couldn’t pull of that look.

Don’t you think it’s weird how their names haven’t been said yet? This is proof that they are hiding something from us. I vote we investigate, tbh. I agree with you 100%, we need to plan out how to go about this. Not only are they trying to steal the spotlight but I can’t stand the smell of their hairgel. That brand was clearly amazon bought.

We only need twelve people, one of them is totally expendable.

Emergency?

It’s for when my hair somehow gets messed up throughout the day. Sometimes it can get really hot somewhere and I’ll accidentally start rubbing and it causes my hair to go scary curly. Seriously, I look like one of the hobbits that haven’t cut my hair for 500+ years. Miss Berry, this is serious! The hairgel cost about $30 and my parents won’t be happy.

Oh no! That’s so weird. Are you sure you didn’t accidentally take it home?

I KNOW RIGHT? The sweat from cheerleading is going to totes ruin my hair along with all the exercises we have to do. I’m going to look like Frodo.