Stacey Evans

JAKE: Why wouldn't I be?

HEYITSSTACEY posted:

HEYITSSTACEY posted:

The alarm sounded and instructions to begin preparations for the first official challenge were being spread across the house. People were getting dressed and rushing out. But Jake was laying in the closet of his bedroom, Chinese food in one hand and a bottle of hard liquor in the other, almost definitely asleep. 

When the alarms sounded, Stacey was one of the first to make her way downstairs, taking the steps two at a time as the smile on her face widened. Once it appeared that everyone had lined up, and the instructions were explained, she took a moment to study her competitors, formulating a game plan in her mind. Looking down the line of other housemates, she realized there seemed to be someone missing. Jake. Rolling her eyes, she did her best to push forward, running towards the pile of challenge items to begin sifting through. Still, the voice in the back of her mind nagged her, refusing to leave her alone. Shaking her head, she stood, turning to run full speed ahead towards the house, entering and running right back up the stairs. “Jake!” She called, searching for him as she stuck her head in every room she saw. Finally, she found the right one, seeing his foot sticking out from one of the closets. Entering, she ran her hands over her face. “You have got to be fucking kidding me!” She groaned. Stooping, Stacey placed a hand on the man’s shoulder, shaking him roughly. “Hey, jackass! Are you serious right now? The first challenge is happening, and the literal entire world can see you making an ass of yourself right now. Could you get the fuck up?”

Surprise!! Now that would have been a good one for sure but we both know that I’d never come up with such a beauty. You’re still the nr1 pranker of the Evans family. That being said.. I’m so staying in my room, ha. You’re more then welcome to visit. I’ve been good. Busy, but good. Missed you too, sis. Any tips on how to survive this thing?

Surprise indeed. Don’t sell yourself short there, Sammy. I’m sure with the right time and influence, you could have. Though, I’ll happily take that title and straighten my crown extra today, it’s not often one receives such a high compliment. Rude. Absolutely rude. I cannot believe you have so little faith in me. I’m wounded, and will forever remember this moment. I’m joking, obviously, you’ve got the right idea and are probably safer where you are...Maybe. For now, at least. Did you think I wasn’t already on my way? Do you want anything? Blaine is making muffins, you’ll have to chow down on those with me later, no exceptions. I’m glad you have been, I feel like I see you everywhere these days. Awe, you’re getting sappy on me. Don’t stop, I’m thriving. Really, just be yourself. Everyone is super nice, and surprisingly there has been very little drama. So far, at least. I’m sure that’ll change in time, the longer we’re here. I’ve heard whispers of some kind of party, but nothing solid yet. Are you looking forward to spending this much time together?

Really? I can’t say I’ve ever met someone who didn’t like baked goods, but I do make desserts too. I’ve also never met anyone who didn’t like dessert so I hope I’m safe. If you’ve ever watch a Food Network show, they all have KitchenAid stand mixers, and most of them are the 6 quart kind. It’s just a bigger bowl and attaches a little different than normal ones. Stand mixers do all the hard for work you. It’s like a giant hand mixer. Basically a fancy robot though. Muffins are a comfort food for me. I started making them and made them almost exclusively while I was home healing after an accident in high school. They are easy to make and just made me feel really good because they are warm and fluffy. I can’t believe you haven’t had a muffin in years… I’ll make you some. How about classic blueberry?

I’m sure there are a few people out there, but it doesn’t seem like that’s something to worry about here, so I think you’re safe. Except, you know, maybe Mr. Greek God Clarington himself. OH! Yes, now I know what you’re talking about- makes sense, makes sense. Thanks for the point of reference. But I’ll admit even watching shows like that, I’m totally in awe by the fact that they all know how to use those things. I’d make a mess, I’m absolutely sure. That’s cool, everyone has a thing like that I think. At least, everyone has stuff they do for comfort. It’s nifty that yours just happens to bring other people joy too. Sorry to hear you had to go through something like that though, that sucks. I know, it’s tragic. But blueberry sounds AMAZING. Thanks, Blaine, I’d really enjoy that. I used to love those little blueberry muffin mini-pack things, but I’m positive yours are going to be a million times better. I’ll have to do something to repay you. 

Happy April’s Fools everybody! Since I don’t have a tingle-thing that warns me for pranks I’m considering staying in my room today. You know, just to be safe. Or is it too much of a precaution and it’s okay to come out of hiding?  

Look at what the cat dragged in, would you? At first, I thought this was a whole prank in itself, so I guess the joke really is on me. I’d say you’re safe to come out, but the truth is we’re in the house together, so that should answer your question. How have you been, Sam? I’ve missed you. 

JAKE: I didn't know we were here to make friends. You wanna be my friend, Stacey?

Well, the good thing about baking is that like, everyone loves baked goods. All is have to do is bake something really awesome and I feel like everyone will want to be friends. Maybe it’s not the best way to make lasting connections or anything, but at least I won’t be on anyone’s negative list. A kitchen up to par is one that has everything in it that I would need. I mean, of course I could get by without a 6 quart KitchenAid stand mixer with all of the attachments, but it’s those things that make the entire process easier. And I’d have to say, as basic as they are, my favorite thing to bake is muffins. Any kind. If you have a favorite kind, I’d be happy to whip some up for you.

I guess you’re right, in some shape or form. I’ve met a couple people in my time who were exceptions to the rule, but I know most people considered them oddballs. Maybe you’re onto something there. Lure them in with the baking, keep them with that dazzling personality. Would you judge me if I said I had no clue what a 6 quart KitchenAid stand mixer is? Sounds like some kind of fancy robot or something. Muffins? Why muffins? Any particular reason? Uh- I’ll have to get back to you on that, unless you’re just looking to whip some up. I’ll eat them if you do, but picking out a specific kind will be hard. I don’t think I’ve had a muffin in like...5 years?

What’s up, guys and gals and everyone else! FinnyD in the house! I had to beat this tricky ass level in Elden Ring real quick but now I’m here to check out the social media scene here in the Project Real house. This is next level cool, my dudes. Grilled Cheesus really did me a good solid, sending me here. I almost wish I hadn’t eaten it. Are we ready to party or whaaaaaat?

...You know, I have to admit, you got me. I’m not sure what to say, about any of this. I have questions- many questions, and many of which I am kind of afraid to ask. First, Grilled Cheesus? Care to elaborate on that, Finn Hudson? Hey, by the way. Long time no talk. What kind of party did you have in mind?

I can’t say I’m a magnet for scandal. I have always been a guy who stays out of trouble as much as I can. And I’m not even remotely mysterious. Plus, I bake, so there is nothing interesting there either. It’s nice to meet you, Stacey. I bake all kinds of things from all over the place, but usually I do it in San Francisco. I hope the kitchen it up to par here!

Under any other circumstance I would say that’s a good thing, but in this case it just means we don’t really know each other, which sucks. I’ve heard good things about you, and your creations. At least we’ve got the chance to meet now, though. I have to say though, there is plenty interesting about baking. It’s a science, and one I suck at tremendously. But, maybe that’s the caveat. It’s always the unobtainable things that are the most interesting. What’s your favorite thing to bake? I’m sure it is- I say that, though, with absolutely zero knowledge of what it means for a kitchen to be “up to par”. 

Hello! I’m Blaine Anderson and I’m bringing a taste of San Francisco to the table. It’s nice to meet all of you!

Blaine Anderson. It’s funny- I’ve heard of you, but I don’t think you’ve ever done anything quite scandalous enough to warrant appearing on my channel. I’m Stacey Evans, Gossip Blogger according to some of the folx here. I can’t say I’ve ever tasted a city before, but I’m looking forward to it. Are you settling in alright?

JAKE: Who's ducking? We're all locked under the same roof. But it was still just fucking.

JAKE: I'm good. Just hanging in my room.

STACEY: Right. You talk like I'm not aware. I am. Thanks for the memo though. Glad we got that out of the way

STACEY: I shouldn't be surprised that you seem to be fucking and ducking.