主♡命

[Hasebe drew his blade without hesitation and stepped in front of you, holding a protective arm out to block the enemy’s path to you.]

Master, do you wish for me to cut it down?

[When he looked into the hallway, Hasebe’s eyes, trained from countless night battles, saw through the darkness and recognized Tsurumaru’s distinct white coat. Still, he continued to be on guard, angered at the person who had thrown his master into distress. The situation remained unchanged. He repeated his question with the same amount seriousness.]

Using just my mouth? Is this a tradition from your time, Master? Very well…

[Hasebe paused for a moment to assess the strange situation before him and after a while, he bent down to carefully take hold of one end of the pocky stick with his teeth. Then, in one swift motion, he attempted to pull all of it out of your mouth. He was ordered to eat the entire pocky stick, after all.]

[He stood up straight again and ate the portion he had obtained from you like he normally would, but when he got to the end, he noticed that some of it was missing.]

Ah… My apologies, Master. It seems that I may need some practice to perfect the technique needed for this tradition.

However, I do not intend to leave any of my orders from you unfulfilled.

[He stepped much closer to you now and reached out a hand to gently tilt your face up towards him. His hungry, determined eyes were firmly locked on your lips– or, more specifically, the tiny piece of pocky left between your lips.]

Do you still wish for me to complete this task?

Then… If it’s an order…

[More out of consideration for you than out of his own hesitation, he slowly leaned in closer and closer until the gap between his lips and yours no longer existed. Then, carefully, gently, as if not wanting to frighten you, he parted your lips with his tongue to collect the last piece of the pocky stick…]

……………

[Having completed his given task, he tore himself away from you before he lingered for too long and took a step back to gather himself again. Though it was an order, Hasebe’s cheeks still warmed from the close contact, despite his desire to keep his appearance professional. He lowered his head to you and his hair thankfully hid his slight blush from your view.]

My favorite food? Ah… Surely, compared to you, we swords haven’t tasted nearly enough kinds of food to choose a proper favorite, however…

When I’m not on duty, simple dishes such as omurice and gratin are the ones I seem to make the most for myself. Simple though they may be, they fill me with a sense of… What’s the word…

…”Home”?

[Hasebe laughed a small, quiet laugh, as if he couldn’t believe such a word came from him.]

A strange thing for me to say, isn’t it? Perhaps “home” isn’t the right word after all. But, from all the descriptions of it that I’ve come across - a warm, comforting place one returns to for a sense of peace - …it seems to fit this feeling.

[He was quiet for a long moment with his eyes cast down. He seemed to want to say something, but remained silent. Then, finally, he lifted his head to look at you again and spoke slowly, unsure of his words.]

Master… The day you gave me this form… The day you took me in…

It seems that the shock of the transition had taken most of my memories of that day away, but…

[Hasebe placed his hands over both of yours, seemingly indulging in your touch for only a split second before gently bringing your hands away from his face.]

Master…

[He held your hands down for just long enough to make sure you understood his intentions and not a second more.]

I am your sword. For the sake of your missions or for your own satisfaction, you may do with me as you wish. Kiss me, praise me, break me, dismantle me… I am yours to use however you see fit, Master.

However…

[He looked at you with the unwavering gaze of an ancient warrior. The gentle violet eyes he always looked at you with now appeared to take on the same distant coldness and deadly shimmer as the steel of his blade. The tone in his voice, however, was as pleasant as always when he spoke to you.]

Please do not be careless with your orders.

Every action you take will have consequences, be they strategical, emotional, or otherwise. Should you regret giving a certain order, it would have already been too late.

It’s easy to allow your emotions to sway your decisions, to allow yourself to become selfish, cruel, and drunk with power…but calmly thinking over your commands to avoid any future regrets would be a much wiser approach.

[Hasebe paused, slightly confused at your question, but after a moment, he simply closed his eyes as a smile spread across his face.]

“I love you…”

“The heart you’ve given me is filled with nothing but love for you.”

“Each day that I am unable to express my feelings for you pains me. This pain in my chest grows more and more until it feels like it might break me at any moment. I’ve never experienced such a terrifying pain before… And so I need to tell you now before it destroys me…”

“I love you.”

“More than a sword, more than a retainer, I wish to be closer to you… To be the one you share your heart with, to be the one you share your life with… I wish to be the one you love.”

“To ask you to return my feelings like this… Would you forgive me for making such a selfish request?”

[He opened his eyes and looked at you with the same kind, gentle expression he always wore.]

…Was that the kind of confession you were expecting to hear from me, Master? If these sweet words are all it takes to make you happy, then I will repeat them as many times as you wish.

But in all seriousness… Posing this question means that you are interested in learning more about me, is that right? If that’s the case, I’m very grateful. However, I have nothing to hide from my master when it comes to information that would affect our duties.

If our resources are low, if there are damaged swords, if there are new missions to be completed, I would always notify you at once.

As you’ve heard from Mitsutada, both he and I had replicas of ourselves created to keep you company while we are away fighting. My replica, a new blade as he is, had become damaged on our way back to the citadel and he has been in repair since our return. However...I've been monitoring my replica since we’ve obtained him and...

Perhaps bringing him here was a mistake.

No... Perhaps his existence itself was a mistake.

That swordsmith... As skilled and, as Mitsutada put it, special, as they may be…something about the replicas they’ve produced troubles me. And the thought of them being by your side unattended makes me feel...uneasy.

Leaving you alone for long periods of time was never my intent while I am tending to my duties as your sword, but... Is there not a better way to make you feel more at ease while we are gone?

Perhaps my replica is simply missing Kunishige-san’s craftsmanship, but surely a newly forged sword does not hold the same soul as swords who’ve lived for hundreds of years…

That aside, Mitsutada’s replica seems to be harmless enough so far. Hopefully, my replica will be the same. No, more than that, I hope he proves himself useful to you.

For the time being, I will continue to monitor him and inform you of any changes in his status. If you’d like to check on him yourself, his repair room is available to you at any time.

[Hasebe tensed up when he heard your suggestion and was quiet for a moment before he spoke up.]

Master, please forgive me, but if that is not an order…then I would like to decline.

Refusing to appear at the calls of my master goes against all of my principles. Even the thought of it leaves me with a sickening feeling…

On the contrary, if you were to deliberately hide from me, I would feel as if I had wronged you in some way… Desperately searching for you and not being able to find you… That feeling of abandonment is something that I cannot say I enjoy.

Most importantly…

[You could see the concern in his eyes as he tried to search for the right words, but there was no way to sugarcoat it.]

Master… The last person in hiding who I was used to find…was murdered because of me. Even though I am now able to control my own blade thanks to this new form, if possible, I would rather not go through such a similar experience again.

However, even with all that said, if you still wish to play this game…

[He cast his eyes down and lowered his head to you.]

[Hasebe looked at you in confusion as to why you, his master, rejected his sword, but he kept a careful eye on your demonstration anyway.]

I see… So the objective of this game is to hit the ball as far as one is able to? Very well. Allow me to show you how skilled I am at anything my master requires of me.

[He placed his sword back on his hip and picked up the wooden bat and a ball. Copying your form exactly, he threw the ball up and, with perfect timing and perfect aim, he hit it with so much force that the wooden bat exploded into splinters all around him. The ball had gone so far so quickly that it was now no where to be seen.]

Tch…

[Hasebe had his back to you again when he scoffed and dropped what was left of the bat to the ground. He turned to you with his hand on his sword again, but this time, he didn’t offer it to you. This time…he drew his blade out of his sheath. His eyes glinted with steadfast seriousness as he spoke to you.]

As I thought, these “bats” are far inferior to any sword I’ve ever come across. Master, please, put more faith in my blade. Allow me to show you what it can do.

[Holding his sword in his right hand, Hasebe picked up another ball.]

[Hasebe’s face heated up at the mention of your lacy underwear and he bowed in apology to you but it was also a convenient way to hide his blush.]

Please forgive me for acting without orders, Master. However, protecting your honor is also part of my duty. It wouldn’t have been acceptable of me had I allowed something like this to go unpunished.

As for Mitsutada… There is no need to worry about him. He has already been fully repaired. 

[Hasebe stood up straight again and looked at you with concern in his eyes.]

I understand that he is important to you but… Master, please do not be too lenient on him and the others, lest something worse should happen. You are a very kind person and I am truly grateful for that, but sometimes discipline is required to ensure that your retainers do not act against your will.

Ah--!

[Hasebe had his eyes on the stack of paperwork in his hands as he walked towards your room to deliver it to you when he was caught by surprise by your hug. His first reaction was irritation at being interrupted while he was busy, but when he looked behind him and saw that it was you, his irritation dissipated, but his body remained tense.]

...Master, please let go of me. It isn’t right for you to hold me like this.

[He lifted your hands off of him and turned around to face you.]

A proper hug is done face to face, is it not? If you wish to hold me, then...

[He carefully placed the stack of paper down on the floor, then stood up again, turning back to you.]

Pardon me...

Master!

[Hasebe ran towards you at top speed when he heard you scream and arrived at the tree a few seconds later, quickly drawing his blade and surveying the surrounding area for enemies. When he didn’t find anyone other than his allies, he looked up at you in the tree for an explanation.]

[He looked to where you were pointing and when he saw the toad, his grip on his sword relaxed and he lowered it as he slowly approached it. He stopped behind the toad and stared at it at his feet. His eyes glanced from the toad to his blade and back again. If it weren’t for your specific instructions, he would’ve done away with it immediately, but orders were orders, even if they were strange ones, and so he stayed his hand.]

...........

[The toad didn’t move even though Hasebe was standing right behind it, so he gave it a gentle nudge with his shoe. The thought of simply kicking it and sending it flying crossed his mind, but again, orders were orders and he was to chase it away.]

...........................

[Hasebe gripped his sheathed sword tighter in his right hand but relaxed again when he heard your request.]

Master… If words are what you desire, then I’m afraid that I may not be able to provide you with the kind that you seek. However, since long ago, swords have given their masters a sense of security when they are kept by their side, so if you wish for me to be with you, you needn’t even ask. It’s only natural for me to be by my master’s side.

In times of fear, in times of sadness, in times of anger… If it is your wish, then I will always be with you, Master.

It is said that a sword is the soul of a warrior, that it is part of their very being. If a warrior is filled with grief, rage, or otherwise, it is shown through their sword. However, since I now have a form that allows me to wield my own blade, I am no longer able to act as a direct extension of my master’s sword arm, but… I am still your sword.

No matter what form I take, I do not intend to abandon my duties as your sword. So, if it pleases you, Master… Please, tell me of everything that upsets you. Tell me of everything that angers you.

Master… Why do you look at me with such a face? Why do your words falter when you speak to me? I am your sword, one of many others whom you’ve given form. There is no need for you to act like thattowards us. No…you mustn’t act like that towards us. Please, do not let our new forms deceive you. We are all still weapons, every single one of us. Including me.

When it comes to matters of the heart, the only part that a sword truly knows is the blood that spills out of it when it is cut. I cannot love you the way you wish to be loved. I cannot love you the way you need to be loved.

[Hasebe cast his eyes down as concern clouded his face.]

I swore to you that I would always protect you…not only your body, but also your mind, your happiness, everything. If it is something that I can prevent, I cannot allow my master to suffer any unnecessary pain.

[He reached out to you and carefully took your hand. Though his eyes were on your hand in his, his focus seemed to be on the growing chaos inside him.]

So please…don’t allow yourself to get hurt so easily.

[He lowered his head to you, but it wasn’t in his usual respectful bow; it was as if he no longer had the strength to keep his head up.]

Please…don’t throw such precious emotions around so carelessly. 

[He squeezed your hand gently to mask the trembling in his own hand.]

Please…

Please…don’t speak such words that weaken my resolve…

[He closed his eyes tightly as he fought to keep his composure, but when he spoke again, the emotions that tormented him showed through clearly as the only words that were able to pass his lips came in a shaky whisper.]

Master…

[Hasebe’s gaze fell away from you as many different conflicting thoughts and emotions flooded his mind and heart, robbing him of his words. Although he was the same strong, composed, reliable sword he always was, as he stood before you now, something about him seemed different.]

[He closed his eyes for a second or two and took a deep breath in and out. His eyes didn’t meet yours when he began speaking again. He didn’t dare to look his master in the eyes for what he was about to say.]

Master… I am a sword. I was forged to kill, to destroy, to be used as my master sees fit….not to love. I was used to kill, have killed with my own two hands, and will continue to kill until my last breath. My very name originated from when I took a life.

[Even though he kept his head down, you could see that his eyes, his face, and his very being were engulfed in a strange mix of what seemed to be resolution, and sorrow, as if he had submitted himself to it but at the same time, claimed it as his own.]

For someone like me….for something like me to love someone…it’s laughable, isn’t it? 

[A weak, heartless laugh came from him as he shook his head.]

No, Master. Surely, a weapon is incapable of even understanding love as you humans do.

So… Have I, a weapon whose only worth is in his ability to kill, ever loved someone?

[He finally lifted his head up again, but when his eyes met yours, the warmth and gentleness that he had always greeted you with were now gone, and in their place was a cold, lonely emptiness.]

I’m afraid that my duties will keep me occupied for some time, so if you would allow me, I humbly ask for your patience as I continue to respond to your letters.

For your sake, I will fight. For your sake, I will defend this citadel until my last breath. For your sake, I will do everything I can until it is peaceful enough to return to my place at your side. So for now, please understand...

[Hasebe bowed low to you, touching his head to the floor as if he were too ashamed to show his face.]

[Hasebe placed the baseball glove down, gently took the bat from you, and examined it carefully. Whether his eyes were filled with jealousy or just interest, it was hard to tell at first, but soon, it became very clear.]

[He took a few steps away from you and, with his back towards you, swung it like a sword. A scoff escaped his lips before he remembered that you were still within earshot.]

Tch…

[When he turned around to face you again, the disgusted look on his face was replaced by his usual pleasant expression.]

Master… This “bat” is not worthy of being in service to you. It was forged of inferior steel, possesses almost no weight, and would surely break in its first battle.

[Hasebe dropped the bat without care as he approached you.]

My blade is far superior to that inelegant, dull scrap of metal. So please…

[He knelt down on one knee in front of you and offered his sheathed sword to you with both hands.]