Ask Dib and Lard Nar!

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Dib sat in the seat, body trembling as he left Earth seemingly unnoticed. As soon as he passed the moon, though, the ship growled at him. It wasn’t in Tak’s voice, but it wasn’t in Gaz’s either. “STOLEN IRKECCCHHTTT….” The voice cut out, but it was enough to immediately terrify Dib. He frantically pressed buttons, many of them containing completely foreign symbols. The main lights in the cockpit suddenly shut off and were replaced by dim violet ones, reminding him of the deepest parts of Zim’s lab. He shuddered. A different, much calmer voice came from the out of sight speakers. Its voice was much deeper and lacking any emotion. “Rerouting stolen VOOT CRUISER to nearest Irken docking station for immediate repossession. Please stand by for an officer to determine your legal status. Thank you.” He groaned and sat back, arms falling into his lap. “…… Well, that was an over polite way of saying that I’m totally f- GAH!” The ship made a sharp turn and an immediate increase in speed. His breath was taken away by the gravity of it and it was all he could do to make shallow pants to remain conscious.

It didn’t last long however, before the ship had made an immediate slow down. He jerked forward violently, caught by the mandatory seatbelt. “Changing speed for most efficient fuel utilization.” Dib gasped, catching his breath and tried to remove the belt. Nothing, he was completely stuck. The buttons were somehow locked, the screens turned off and there was no further talking from the computer. Dib slumped as best he could underneath his belts. There was a small chance that the guards who caught him would be stupid and completely incompetent, allowing him to somehow escape… But he wasn’t going to get his hopes up. Stress had kept him awake for what seemed like a day. He had hoped they caught him soon. He was cold, hungry and had to pee… Badly. But exhaustion finally took over him and he eventually dosed off, comforted only by the soft hum of machinery. “Warning. Enemy ship detected.” “Warning. Enemy ship approaching.” “Warning. Enemy ship has captured the sto-”

-

The Irken cruiser takes a while to be properly secured inside the Resisty’s docking bay, the equipment (like most of the ship) is fitted together from scavenged parts and barely held together, and it shudders and jerks as it works. Lard Nar winces at the high pitched whine it emits, and mentally adds it to the ever growing list of things he has to deal with.

The more competent of his crew are lined up in the small hanger, equipped with what small firearms the Resisty’s managed to scrounge up - most of them can’t shoot worth shit, but Lard Nar's hoping on any Irkens inside the cruiser not knowing that.

The Voot Cruiser docks with a low metallic grinding that actually shakes the floor and Lard Nar stumbles slightly, delicate footing thrown off. He’s quick to catch his balance through years of practice and - after a quick check to make sure his crew is following - strides over to the ship. He stops to the side of it, protected from any possible attack by the bulk of the ship and reaches up to hit the hidden emergency release lock. By right he shouldn’t know about it, but so much current Irken technology uses adapted Vortian inventions that it’s almost ridiculously easy for him to find.

The protective bubble screen - darkened to provide cover for its occupant Lard Nar assumes - pops off with the sudden hiss of air stabilisers and for a moment the docking bay falls deadly silent as the Resisty wait for the expected attack.

It doesn’t come. In fact nothing at all happens, and Lard Nar hesitates for just a moment or two before shifting forward slightly to peek around the edge of the ships bodywork. There’s no stranded Irken Invader inside the little pod at all, in fact there’s no Irken anything. The ship seems a patchwork, bits a pieces of crude alien technology fused and forced onto the sleek designs of Irken-Vortian work. Lard Nar winces slightly at the mutilation. For a moment he’s baffled, and emboldened by the lack of resistance so far, slips further out of cover until he can look into the small cruisers pilot seat.