DID advice from a DID system

this is a point that has come up several times in the past, both in tags and in other depictions such as United States of Tara.

so, as a reminder, alters are not actual medical or mental health professionals. they are not able to diagnose, treat or provide therapy. they may seem like they have more expertise but they do not come with actual history in the necessary fields, or required learning about protocol and the dangers of things such as transference and dual relationships.

alters can sometimes seem really, really good at their roles! but please realize that this is from the perspective of someone who likely doesn’t actually have experience in that particular field, and therefore does not have the insight to help them pick up on when they’re doing a shit job bc they’re not actual professionals. it’s entirely possible that the alters have absorbed information based on stereotypes or media depictions, or based on understandings that the system has about people in a particular field. this does not mean that said alters are actually capable of making the same kinds of calls that professionally trained folks in said fields are able to make. alters are based on metaphor and integrating information from both internal and external sources - professionals have a collective of both educational and practical experience that gives them such places of authority and information.

this point isn’t made often enough and while we’ve brought it up in the past on this blog, it still needs to be reinforced once in a while.

-e (of SN)

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Adding that even if the alter has professional training because you/the system has professional training? That training still can’t be used to diagnose or treat you! Therapists/doctors can’t be their own patients or treat friends/family for a reason. They’re too close to the issue and so not objective enough. You can 100% have the training required and still fuck everything up when it comes to trying to figure out what’s going with yourself and what to do about it. Alters are no different here. Even if they feel separate from you, whatever’s going on with you directly affects them, and they can’t be objective enough to be professional even if they are actually capable of being professional.

Overview

Derealization is included in the name and symptom structure of what previously was called depersonalization disorder and is now called depersonalization/derealization disorder

Dissociative fugue is now a specifier of dissociative amnesia rather than a separate diagnosis

The criteria for dissociative identity disorder have been changed to indicate that symptoms of disruption of identity may be reported as well as observed, and that gaps in the recall of events may occur for everyday and not just traumatic events

Experiences of pathological possession in some cultures are included in the description of identity disruption

Dissociative Identity Disorder

Criterion A has been expanded to include certain possession-form phenomena and functional neurological symptoms to account for more diverse presentations of the disorder

Criterion A now specifically states that transitions in identity may be observable by others or self-reported

Hey there anon! From what I understand, the answer to both of these is yes. I don’t have first hand experience with either of these, but I’ve certainly heard of things like this happening to other people.

I know of several systems who have had alters die, and a few that were the core or host. Sometimes it’s also possible for the core or host of a system to be dormant for years at a time, making it appear that they’ve died when they actually haven’t. And it’s also possible for alters to front for long periods of time, even if they don’t realize that they are part of a system. Many systems don’t have an original or core, and the host is just the alter that’s out most often. It may even be that the current host doesn’t realize that they aren’t the original or core of the system.

Many systems don’t entirely believe in “cores” or “originals” though, so it all depends on your personal beliefs on that particular topic.

Do any of my followers have anything to add to this? I know that there are plenty of systems on here that have talked about these experiences before.

I cannot say this enough times. Possibly barring extremely unusual circumstances involving programming, alters cannot die. They are dissociated parts of the mind! Just as you can’t “kill” a preference, opinion, trait, or ability, you can’t “kill” an alter. Alters can go dormant or they can integrate, and either of these options can seem like death. This is especially true if the alter integrates with the system instead of any other particular alter or if the alter was comparatively less differentiated and so doesn’t make as much of a noticeable difference in those that they integrate with. However, the dissociated materials that formed the alter cannot disappear, only be integrated into another alter or left to drift as fragments until a later time.

Please stop encouraging the narrative that alters are physical, objective, fully separate entities. They are a part of the system that creates them, no matter how dissociated, individual, and unique they may be or seem. This doesn’t make them any lesser, but it does make them slightly different from an individual with their own body, and one of these differences is that they can’t simply cease to exist unless the system itself ceases to live. Even if the conflict, tension, or trauma that created and sustained the alter was resolved, the result of that resolution would still be an integration of their materials into the system or another alter.

I understand that some people can have the subjective internal experience that an alter has died just as people can have the subjective internal experience that integration involves a loss. However, the “death” of an alter is not and never could be a death in the true sense of the word. Calling it such encourages people to view alters as more separate than they truly are while giving false ideas of how alters can be “gotten rid of.”

Friends, family members and loved ones of learning disabled and mentally ill people need to have a working knowledge of what Executive Dysfunction is, and respect the fact that it is a prominent feature of that person’s psychology and life.

Executive Dysfunction is best known as a symptom of autism and ADHD, but it also features in depression, anxiety disorders schizophrenia, OCD (which by the way is also an anxiety disorder), personality disorders; etc, a whole myriad of mental illnesses and disabilities can result in executive dysfunction.

(fact: I have personally known people diagnosed with each ofthe above mentioned disabilities. let me tell yea having mental disabilities in aneurotypical world turns your life upside down and we often feel suffocatedand trapped by it with no way out)

Years ago when I was like 14 and had recently learned of my autism diagnosis, I watched a youtube interview between autistic people, and an autistic woman said something along these lines, “Sometimes, a lightbulb will burn out, but I cannot change it. I have the physical capability to change the lightbulb, and I want to change the lightbulb, and I know I need to do it, but because of my autism I just don’t do it. So the lightbulb remains unchanged for weeks. Sometimes people have to change the lightbulb for me.”

When she said that I related so much, because constantly throughout my whole life I have wanted and needed to do things with my wanting and needing being akin to my spurring an extremely stubborn horse who refuses to move. For the first time I learned that I wasn’t just “lazy”, I had a condition that prevented me from doing things as easily as other people can, but unfortunately it took me years since then to understand that.

Actually, I like the horse analogy. Imagine that you are a horserider, but your horse is entirely unwilling to move even if you want to move. You dig in your heels, you raise the reins, but the horse refuses to respond. Your wants and needs are the rider, and your executive functions (the parts of your mind responsible for getting things done) are the horse.

Hey there! That does sound pretty scary. I’m sorry that happened to you guys. I think the best advice I could give is maybe you can try to teach your little how to drive. I know that not all littles can, but many young alters are extremely advanced for their age. I’ve heard of toddlers writing in full sentences, four year olds that can do college level work, and even young alters that can learn to drive. I myself have a two year old alter named Quiet who doesn’t speak louder than a whisper and only says certain words, but she’s still managed to get complex ideas across to my boyfriend.

If you think it’s possible, try taking your little alter to a big empty parking lot where you can teach her the basics of how to drive. After a while, she may get the hang of it! That way, if anything happens while driving, she can at the very least find a place to pull over until someone else can front and do the rest of the driving. Try to think of how you learned to drive and teach her in a similar way. It’s always easiest to start in parking lots though, because there’s nothing to accidentally hit.

I hope this works out for you!