all i did was try my best.

I know I am. Why are you apologizing? There is no impression, it’s just a fact. Your hair is brown. You like bow ties. A part of you- it is irrelevant how big or small that part may be, the important thing is that it does exist- trembles in fear every time you sense Sue Sylvester approaching anywhere within a 5 yard radius. 

🎭 

That wasn’t meant to be an apology. And I’m afraid you’re wrong, Hunter. I’m not afraid of Sue Sylvester. I just don’t like the idea of her watching my every move, that’s all.

At what point did holidays become exclusively synonymous with parties? If someone could explain that to me, I’d be grateful. As I’ve explained to Emile already, whatever gave you the impression I’m a ‘Party Person’ was dead wrong, and I most certainly wouldn’t dream of stepping foot within a mile of anything considered a ‘big party’. I’m sure you’ll have a blast, though. I suppose. I’ve told both Sebastian and Emile that I’ll attend, if only momentarily. I wouldn’t want to dash anyone’s hopes. Thank you, your service is appreciated. Aside from…All of that, how are things going this year? I expect you’re keeping your grades up. 

🎭 

Never, although I do have to say that there always seemed to be an increase of fundraisers and dinner parties around the holidays when I was a kid. And I think the average college student just takes any excuse to party. But don’t worry, I didn’t think you were the 'Part Person’ type. I think Emile’s party is more of a small get together, though? So I was just hoping we’d see you there, and I’m glad to hear we will. It won’t be the same without you. Things are pretty good! Thank you for asking. I feel like my classes are definitely more challenging than last year, and I’ve really been enjoying them so far. How about you?

So what I’m hearing you say is, you want me to ask you out on a date, killer. And then you’ll show me your underwear.

🎭 

Hypothetically, yes. That would be a good start.

Sounds great, I will see you there.

🎭

Perfect! I’ll see you there.

Asking about your thong? No, not me. Not yet, anyway. Inquiring minds have to say though… pics or it didn’t happen.

🎭 

You could at the very least ask me out to dinner before asking for pics of my, if I may point out, hypothetical underwear, Smythe.

Name the time and place and I’ll be there!

How about tomorrow at the Lima Bean? Maybe around 6?

It dawned on me today that despite the date, there have yet to be any Halloween parties or shenanigans occurring around campus. Frankly, I’m pleased. I realize it’s a holiday (on a technicality at least), and a popular one at that, but at no point should that give anyone license to act foolishly, especially when on school property. That said, have your fun if you must, but consider this my formal request to be excluded from pranks, tricks, parties, or even small gatherings comprised of more than four people. Happy Halloween, all. 

🎭 

I was actually thinking of throwing another Warblers-exclusive Halloween party this year, but I think Emi already beat me to it. And I’m pretty sure that at least one of the Cheerios will throw a big party as well. You will be making an exception for us Warblers, right? You won’t even have to wear a costume if you don’t want to. Pranks and tricks aren’t really my thing either, but I’ll make sure to let people know to exclude you from any of those.

Aw, thanks Emi! That’s really kind. And don’t worry, it’s not weird at all. I’d love to hang out sometime, actually! Platonically.

Please tell me that wasn’t you?

I could offer some frilly, coincidental explanation. But, I think we both know the truth is, she is. Look sharp, Anderson. Under any other circumstance I’d say don’t let her smell your fear, though considering that’s your personally concocted brand of cologne, I have nothing further to offer. 

🎭

I’m afraid you’re right about that. And I’m sorry, but what exactly gave you the impression that I’m afraid of Coach Sylvester? Because I’m not.

Far be it for me to deny you any kind of pleasure, killer. All I can say is when and where? You had me at “we.”

🎭

If only I’d known it was so easy to persuade you... Maybe we can go to the Lima Bean after practice today? Or we could just get a coffee to go and go to our dorm? Something tells me the people at the Lima Bean probably won’t appreciate it if we burst into song spontaneously. 

I’m not stopping anyone from taking my criticism as constructive.

🎭

I hate to tell you this, Santana, but that’s not exactly easy when it comes to your criticism.

And the needle on the creep-o-meter just peaked. 

Coach S has the omnipresent quality of a miasma; but, if she’s stalking you, she’d doing a pretty shitty job  — everyone knows the first rule of stalking is to watch without being seen.

Just when you think it can’t get any worse...

Yeah.. I mean, I tried that, but I ended up kind of rewarding myself with an episode of something on Netflix when I finished a problem and now I’m just binge watching and not really.. getting this homework done. I mean.. you’d really do that? It’s cool of you to offer and I do kind of need the help, so.. yeah. I’d really appreciate that, man. Thanks.

🎭

Yeah, that might be a bit too much... I was thinking more along the lines of grabbing a snack when you finish another page, or getting to do something fun after studying for a certain amount of time. But yes, of course! It’s honestly no problem at all. Just let me know when you’re free.