Martha At Your Service

You know you can still live with me. At least until you can find something stable.

catch me gardening topless at 5am telling my baby tomato plant about my bad dream

I deeply desire a Victorian glass greenhouse with all kinds of flowers and herbs, air ferns hanging from all places, and a trickling water fountain to create an atmosphere of serenity.

gardening has this reputation as a gentle and chill hobby but you know what?? gardening is actually a constant and brutal conflict between the human need for control and the will of life to spread - a battle between life and death itself, even. in the garden I am the Overlord Supreme, Peerless Queen of the Dirt, Arbiter Above All, the ultimate and final judge over who gets to live and who must die. I drowned an entire anthill today for daring to exist in my realm, and the blood of hundreds has soiled my soul. my thumbs may be green but my hands are black and deadly.

This explains more about Samwise Gamgee than anything else I have ever read.

I just want to have a good life. Is this too much to ask for?

I wouldn’t let you touch my plants if you weren’t my friend!

Martha, please, think about the way you phrase things before you say them.

What? I don’t let an ordinary person walk into my green room and touch my roses, daisies, and venus fly trap.

Martha, I swear to all that is holy, shut the fuck up. You’re doing this on purpose now.

Maybe so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 💛 But genuinely, I trust you. And that means a lot I hope you know that that’s a rare occurrence.

I wouldn’t let you touch my plants if you weren’t my friend!

Martha, please, think about the way you phrase things before you say them.

What? I don’t let an ordinary person walk into my green room and touch my roses, daisies, and venus fly trap.