•An Alien In Love•

I’m the lunatic I’ve swore I’d never be, //I’m the Illness that I can’t pull out and the darkness no one writes home about //Some call it mental//Other day it’s chemical //I’ll say it’s half and half mixed with a wide range of delusional //I’m bit embarrassed slightly tired of this constant fight that is looking like my swinging high for my dimmisishing life. If I’m so lovable where why are all my notes home being returned to sender //it’s getting harder to breathe in all this water //-The one perched on my shoulder won’t stop telling me to fight harder //Scream softer//Everyone hears me but stop answering cause it’s just gotten a messy. //But I’m telling you it’s just getting me to the point where I don’t hear anything but how sick my head is and how I used to be, who I used to be, and why I’m not allowed to be that version of the happier sounder E.My brain won’t let me. I’m trying and tired of failing.//it’s not them.I Found out that’s the chemical make up inside me //And god made me this way and I just can’t understand why he’d make me wrong then tell me to just be strong//It’s not more then I can bare but I’m telling you I feel like I’m strapped to an mental electric chair.// if that’s the case then show me my file cause I don’t have the luxury anymore for denial. Hard facts and denial don’t tell me it’ll be okay if you haven’t seen a case of manic bipolar losing hope but wanting a home. //I’m a out of sanity to spare but if your wondering what it feels like, my heart says it’s a lot like living with despair.

— Ranata Suzuki  (via ranata-suzuki)

— smspoetry 

// “… and then they leave, even when they promised they wouldn’t.”  (via nicoleanntanovitz)