🤫

Auntie Lumen pulling out the tough love card and calling you out, but in all seriousness, if I don’t do it the universe will. And when the universe does it? It will hit you with a painful & harsh lesson that’ll leave you curled up on the bathroom floor crying your heart out and wishing you’d never met them and wishing the heartache would stop because you can’t take it anymore.

So do yourself a favor and look the other way, and focus on the green flags for a change.

"If they cared about me they would have–" did you tell them that? Did you let them know how you feel? How much importance you place on those requirements they don't know they have to meet? This secret criteria and secret signs for your secret feelings? Or are you making them play a game they don't know even exists?

How you respond to others and situations.

Where you spend your time and who with.

The shows, books, news and social media you consume.

What you do with your free time.

What you say to others.

What you think about.

How hard you try.

What you allow or don't allow from others.

Good or bad routines you follow.

What you aim for in life.

Being positive or negative.

Eating, exercising, and resting.

Learning new skills or knowledge.

Who you hang out with.

What you buy and spend on.

Keeping your space clean or messy.

What fun activities you pick up.

Saying "thank you" and feeling thankful.

Knowing when to say "no" or "enough".

What you hope for and dream about.

Doing nice things for others.

Picking one thing over another.

What's most important to you.

What you do every day.

What you feel is true or right.

Keep your standards high. For yourself, your relationships, your career, and everything. Don't settle for less; know your worth. <3

Don't tolerate people who put you down, lie to you, or try to take advantage of you. The more you allow people to mistreat you, the less they will respect you. Stand up for yourself!!

Don't chase. What belongs to you will find you, and the people who care for you will stay by your side. So don't make a fool out of yourself by chasing something that's running away from you.

No more people pleasing. Learn to say "no". You don't have to apologise or explain yourself; saying no is completely fine.

Figure out which people in your circle make you feel good and who is draining your energy. Don't surround yourself with those who waste your energy.

Take care of yourself. How are you going to be confident and respect yourself if you don't care for yourself?? Invest time, energy, discipline, money and love into becoming the best version of yourself. <3

Be mindful and selective of who you trust. Don't take criticism from people who you wouldn't take advice from.

Your boundaries are non-negotiable. Boundaries are about how you respect yourself. If someone oversteps them, cut them off!

2023 is our year of self-growth, what better place to start than setting boundaries and learning to respect ourselves? Wishing everyone a successful and beautiful January!! <3

You set the tone.

You set the vibe.

You make the rules.

You teach people how to treat you.

Save the “casual-ness” for those worthy of it.

Don’t just “let things slide” because you’re “doing someone a favor”

No. There are NO FAVORS when it comes to your worth.

If they’re late- they don’t get another chance unless they make it up.

If they’re making excuses- excuse yourself out of the equation.

If you have a certain love language that they are not willing to love you in - why compromise?

If you are being “bread crumbed” follow that trail back HOME.

You literally hold your standard in your hands.

Do not allow or let someone change or shift what you already know to be TRUE, PRESENT and VALUABLE in your life.

Even the small things. The little things.

You deserve all of that and you need to make sure that someone who is pursuing you understands that boundaries and standards are not just ways to protect yourself but a FINE LINE and the ONLY way to your heart, your space, your mind, your time and your life.

Stop settling for mediocre. Stop giving away free passes. Stop allowing yourself to be taken for granted.

People know exactly how to treat you bc YOU TEACH THEM.

How?

BY LOVING YOURSELF FIRST and allowing someone to see how you do and then proceed to follow.

So love yourself OUT LOUD, how you want to be loved and then love others the same way.

Don’t let some manipulative or narcissistic person come into your life changing things around.

💕 There are men who enjoy providing for you.

💕 There are men who enjoy maintaining you.

• don’t judge others if you don’t know them personally.

• appreciate the little things

• compliment yourself daily

• change self-destructive behaviors

• let go of things or people that disturb your peace.

• write your thoughts down in a journal

• love your body and take care of it

• eat healthy or nutritious foods

Write them a cute letter.

Carefully listen to what they are saying and ask genuine questions.

Wait for them if you notice them falling behind.

Ask them how their day was. <3

Show them your favourite songs, films, and books.

“I miss you”, “I love you, “I’m thinking about you”.

Bake them something. Like the heart jam cookies from Pinterest (should I post the recipe??)

Make them a playlist. :)

If they get interrupted, ask what they were going to say.

Remember their favourite coffee/drink order.

Offer them encouragement and support.

Surprise them with a small gift, something that made you think of them.

Buy them flowers.

Send them links to stuff that you think they might like.

Let them know how grateful you are to have them in your life. <3

As always, Please feel free to add more suggestions and tips in the comments!

How you respond to others and situations.

Where you spend your time and who with.

The shows, books, news and social media you consume.

What you do with your free time.

What you say to others.

What you think about.

How hard you try.

What you allow or don't allow from others.

Good or bad routines you follow.

What you aim for in life.

Being positive or negative.

Eating, exercising, and resting.

Learning new skills or knowledge.

Who you hang out with.

What you buy and spend on.

Keeping your space clean or messy.

What fun activities you pick up.

Saying "thank you" and feeling thankful.

Knowing when to say "no" or "enough".

What you hope for and dream about.

Doing nice things for others.

Picking one thing over another.

What's most important to you.

What you do every day.

What you feel is true or right.

the first step, be clear about what your best version would look like. questions to ask yourself.

what would my best version look like?

what habits would i have?

what would my life be like?

what would be my morning and evening routine?

what thoughts would i have?

what would i focus on?

what thoughts and habits should i leave behind?

how would i like to feel?

and lastly…

what can i start doing to connect with this version of me?

you can also add your own questions if they resonate with you, the important thing about this exercise is that you connect a little bit more with that better version of yourself.

from my experience, it is important to focus and work on these three areas of our life at the same time so that none of these areas are out of balance and we can flow to that version more easily.

it is important because i have realized from my own experience and from other people who send me questions that they only focus on one area, in most cases, the habits, and forget others, then when something happens or we go through a bad moment we feel lost and it seems that everything is "wrong" but if we work on these areas at the same time and we nurture them day by day we will have more control of our emotions and thoughts, then we will not stagnate in "bad times". remember, we can always go through bad times but these always bring us a learning experience.

✨ physical

daily movement, create an exercise routine

eating healthy food, for the sake and perfect functioning of our body.

create a daily routine that will help us reach our goals.

healthy habits

hobbies that help us connect with our best self.

focus on the well-being of our body

✨ mental and emotional

read about personal growth, psychology, and topics that will help us to improve our personal best.

journaling

keep a daily record of our emotions, as well as our habits.

focus on what we do want rather than what we don't want

detect what our negative thought patterns are and change them for - more positive ones according to how we want to think and feel from now on.

affirm positively

work on those areas of our life that we need to improve or are damaged

✨ spiritual

healing and balancing both your feminine and masculine energies

develop your intuition

have faith in yourself and in the process of creation (god, universe, energy…)

read about spirituality

meditate day and night

doing energetic cleansing

connect with your spiritual side

love yourself for who you are now

forgive the people who hurt us and forget the past

practice gratitude

practice compassion and tolerance towards yourself and others

connect with nature

this is what i believe brings us closer to becoming our best version, as i am always learning new things about the subject and evolving both personally and spiritually so i will continue to share this in future posts.

as always all questions related to the topic are welcome and if you have any doubts you can also ask.