Drunk Spider

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

please give us updates

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

op will not die of natural causes

That’s the most interesting comment anyone has ever left on one of my posts

She absolutely is

Is that Ariana Grande??

all women born after 800 AD do is tempt, blaspheme, witchcraft, eat potent herbs to aid in their foul divinations, and lie

Maybe we don’t hear as much about organized crime these days because they’ve gotten REALLY organized.