A.King

I enjoy ending the night together.

At like three o'clock in the morning Before the sun came up. Holding your head Unsure if I could hold my own I finally knew what love was.

We had an odd history with trains.

Coming and leaving And Coming and staying And Disappearing. Like magic tricks

It still feels odd some days That we live two completely separate lives

But that night I learned my mother could choose to love me or not I learned my dad knew love but not responsibility I learned that loving you wasn’t in question

I also learned that I had nothing to offer you But homeless nights And endless train rides And I watched you Sleeping Loving me anyway.

I’m going to have to tell you. But I love you And I’m not ready to see your heart shatter. And I can’t lie Not about this And well It is your fault. You didn’t protect me You didn’t save me But I know you didn’t know how. It wasn’t your job to You were doing what you were taught

We all were

They taught us to hate 
In the name of a God 
All we wanted to do was praise

They taught us to judge

They taught us shame They colored it with blessings And hopes And prayers They fed us eternity Equipped with salad forks and steak knives.

My plastic silverware wasn’t cutting right

But you had your own steak to deal with. You had your own demons speaking to God against you And it seemed easier for him to test us than rid them And I would never make a good Job. But brother I love you.

More than you’ll ever know

I think about the way your heart beats And pray it’s consistent

But secrets can’t dwell in love Or love can’t live with secrets Or living ain’t secret with love Lately i don’t know what order To step in

And sunny

And we made it

Driving half way with our eyes closed.

Hoping the right turns wouldn’t send us left.

Forgiveness doesn’t exist

Nor need to when love is present.

I’m fine with us loving our way through messes we inherited

Like pain

I’m sorry she’ll never apologize

But the pain she caused came from love

How ironic

Like the person giving you nothing

Getting everything.

I’ve learned there’s so much more I could tell you than things you can’t change.

Like I’m excited for you to see this kid.

Like I look up to you

Like healing looks good on you.

Like I see you pain

But I also see you breaking through

Secrets just become memories forgotten

Not worth the dead space

And demons are only angels

Lost

Not sure where home is

Looking for a physical space