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i am offering free art to anyone who would like it. you get free art, i get experience. sounds like a nice deal.

so, if you're interested please check out my website for the type of work i do and contact info. or you can just drop me a message on any of my social medias!

who knew artist studies are actually helpful. i’ve been using acrylic pens A LOT more and i think i’ve found my thing. mayhaps.

original drawing is by xxanemia

watched the FNAF 2 movie recently so the obsession is back once more. been messing around with using colours more and drawing the first thing i see on pinterest.

maybe i’ll make this a tradition or something, i always seem to draw her around Halloween

this could be genuine so my apologies if it is but i've received quite a few of these.

something something chuuya has a light in his eyes but looks sad something something dazai doesn't have a light in his eyes but looks happy something something

tried something new, i think i like it ?? also eye strain warning ???

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woohoo, animation DONE for my uni project based on ghosts and Charles Dickens' works. i chose The Signal-Man to focus on. i thought it was interesting, with the foreshadowing, lost of insanity and slight arguing. the song felt perfect for the Signal-Man and Narrator's interactions.

anyways, CHUUYA MY BELOVED

Bit of a ramble piece but I just need somewhere to put this.

I don’t often show or talk about this much, although I really should as it’s a huge part of my life, but I’m deaf. Or hard of hearing, whatever you prefer. I’ve created artworks around this before so it’s no secret, but I became deaf from treatment for cancer. Childhood cancer. I’m cancer free, have been for a while. Yippee.

Again, it’s no secret, no biggie. I tell everyone I’m deaf and those closest to me how and why I’m deaf. And a bunch of strangers on the internet too apparently.

The whole point of this is because of something that happened on Tuesday. Long story short, as a class at uni we did a sound walk. Sounds fun, right? Well, not really for me.

It just got me thinking about how isolated I feel. I’m stood there, in a crowd of twenty-something people that I know and I’ve never felt so alone. They’re doing something I will never get to experience, feel things I’ll never get to feel.

I felt alone, sad and hurt, because none of them will ever truly understand. They try, but they’ll never truly get it. It’s all made even worst when you’re ignored by those who are suppose to help you.

I didn’t go into this completely blind, I knew it was coming. I spoke to my tutors weeks ago, but they weren’t much help. They were kind and caring, but they weren’t much help. By the end of that conversation I was told to basically just wait and see what happened.

Then the day came and they were full of smiles and I’m just stood there, staring at them, wondering if I’m even crossing their minds.

Taking part in the group activity afterwards was the worst. I had to sit there and watch, not listen watch, as the others shared what they noticed and we had to draw it.

We were in the markets, not our usual studio, and there was so much background noise. It became so overwhelming. I’ve never wanted to curl up and cry so much before. It got to the point where I couldn’t even hear what they were saying.

How can you force a deaf person to take part in a hearing world? A world that was never created for them?

But then you feel guilty for that feeling, don’t you? You feel like you’re making it all about yourself.

I told them about it days later, it felt like fake sympathy during that conversation. Or maybe that’s just what I think and it wasn’t the case. I mean, they’re good people. This isn’t their fault, but it also isn’t my fault either.

But what else can you do? How do you fix this? Hearing aids doesn’t completely fix my deafness, in some cases it makes it even worst. I’m forever broken and there’s nothing that will ever fix it. Nothing will bring back my hearing, nothing will fix what cancer destroyed.

I will forever have that gap between me and other people. I will always be disconnected from them no matter how hard we try.

Hearing is a privilege that others have, and I never truly realised that until now.