//. 𝔸ℝℝ𝕆𝔾𝔸ℕ𝕋 𝔹𝕆𝕐

         he knows he should leave this relationship. he knows he should have ended things a long time ago. it wasn’t good for their of them but he doesn’t want to be alone. he would rather be in an unhealthy relationship over alone. despite the struggles he faces with jiwook he loves him. he feels something for the other he can’t just turn his back on the other. he knows he should but...his heart feels so strongly for the other male. 

     tightening his arms around the other, he is clinging to jiwook. he had been so close to leaving and now, he was clinging to him. he doesn’t know why he sorry– sorry for almost living? sorry for loving him too much? hearing his words he nodded his head. “i won’t leave...i’m sorry, i’m not going to leave.” chen couldn’t bring himself to leave. he knows how bad this is for them but but he won’t leave him. “i promise, i won’t go.” 

           why was he so weak when it comes tojiwook? chen had never allowed someone to hold this control over his life. his mind is screaming at him to go, screaming to let jiwook go and break this off...he can’t though, he knows he could back to china and live happier. yet, when jiwook asked him to stay...he can’t help but cave him

      he never thought those words could sinecure coming from jiwook. a sigh escaped the male as he wrapped his arms around him. his heart has chen pulling jiwook closer to his body. humming softly when he apologized once more. ‘i’m sorry.” he mumbles, he didn’t know why he was sorry. he feels like he should tell him he sorry for something. “i’m here and i promise i’m not leaving.” 

           jiwook really didn’t UNDERSTAND why chen was so attached to him. then again, jiwook had no idea why he was so attached to chen. they should’ve left each other when they had the chance--shouldn’t turned their backs on each other and never turned back, but here they are: dependent, needy, and unable to let go. 

     kiha places his fingers   gently   on each side of jiwook’s face,  fingers brushing along his cheeks.  he tries to not make it   so obvious   that he’s stalling his dinner,  but he thinks jiwook can tell.  he’s never been comfortable   with just letting himself eat  —  jiwook knows kiha doesn’t only love him for his blood.  why does he   still   act like this ?     ‘  you’re so pretty.  ‘     he says with a   pout,  and kisses jiwook’s lips gently.     ‘  can we   cuddle first ?  i’ll eat later,  promise ~  you’re just   so cozy. ‘

     when the fingers grasp his wrist he freezes. chen knows he would’ve walked out of the door… he would have left had jiwook not grabbed him. the only thing, the only person keeping chen here was jiwook. the male wanted to leave– go back to china, be anywhere else but this god awful place. the only reason he stays is that he loves jiwook.

    hearing the words he shook his head. eyes cast down a long sigh escaping the male. “WANTING to love me sounds like you will never love me.” chen knows he is asking too much of jiwook...that he wants too much but he can’t help. “i’m not leaving jiwook.” despite wanting to leave he can’t bring himself to go. not when jiwook is standing here begging him to stay.

           jiwook doesn’t expect chen to actually stop, to pause and listen, to let jiwook put his dirty fingers back under his skin and sink into his ALREADY BLEEDING HEART--but he does, and jiwook’s just a little relieved that chen isn’t totally set on leaving jiwook. 

                              ‘  brought  meself  .  ‘ll  give  you  a  kiss  for  it  ,  yeah  ??  best  pucker  up  ,  get  y’  out  of  that  mood  .  ’

     kiha    stops    in his tracks,  comes back down the steps as eyes blink at jiwook for a moment  —  his lips parted.     ‘  oh … oh,  i forgot … that’s why we came home in the    first place …  ‘     he hadn’t been thinking of blood,  only of being in jiwook’s arms  —  his kisses an   added distraction.   ‘  can we cuddle    a little    after ?  ‘