My Little Secret...

Everyone talks about how good it feels to lose weight with ed, but not a lot of people talk about how it feels to gain all the weight(and much more) back.

I have gained 105 lbs (around 48 kg) because my “recovery” turned into a constant binge-eating.

Nothing fits me anymore.

No more shopping at my favorite stores

No more wanting to go out

No more guys having crushes on me

No more being popular..

I took all those things for granted. I was never happy with my body, always wanted to lose more, but looking back, I should have been. I’m not saying I was happy at that time, I had no energy whatsoever, hair falling out and nails brittle.

But now it’s hard for me to walk upstairs without running out of breath, I have a lot of knee problems because of my weight, stretch marks because of rapid gain weight, being moody all the time because I hate the way I look.

People are constantly commenting on my weight, but this time it’s not them asking me to stop losing weight, this time it’s them asking me to lose weight.

I keep my room clean, I am more organized, I take better care of my skin, I wash my hair every 2 days, I shave daily, I’m on top of my work, I put more effort in my make-up and clothes, I am more social and I do a lot more instead of always staying in my room.