[Rough Draft] Part 17: Don't Look Under the Bed
When I was a child, around 4 - 6, I would make up imaginary friends regularly. But only out of necessity: I would always forget them. Then a few days would go by and I’d feel incredibly guilty and try to forget long enough to invent a new one. I feel as though kids’ habits around imaginary friends are indicative of their compartmentalization skills and their particular state of mind.
The imaginary friends allow them to explore themselves and the world without feeling shame, in a mostly healthy way. Any methodology can be taken too far, but most of the time it’s a way for them to learn slowly to take responsibility for themselves. To shift blame from themselves less and less over time as they realize that people will hold them accountable.
I feel like many parents interfere too much in the organic development of this scaffolding. Some by disallowing it, possibly because they find it too whimsical. Some by encouraging the child to lean to hard on such constructs. And this isn’t a judgement, I’m certain that these things are often done out of genuine concern.
So anyways, I kind of came to the realization tonight that Yamikai and Godfrey were just the only two imaginary friends that stuck for me. But by the time yamikai came around, I was technically too old to have one. And by the time Godfrey came around, I was definitely too old to have two. So I misunderstood and misused them. Abuse them at times.
I’m so grateful for every good day where I only have to make my mistakes once and I think that those constructs do a wonderful job of helping with that when I use them properly.
We are never alone.
