This heart's on fire @asadsadclown - Tumblr Blog

It really fucking sucks falling in love with someone who seems perfect for you but then they change and before u know it you’re just completely different people and totally incompatible but you still really care for each other??

#its so unfaaaaair #i literallt barely even like him??#hes fucking boring and stressy and totally not fun to be around #i enjoy spending time w him on the rare occasion he actually attempts to have fun #but its so rare it barely even counts #and like if i met him now i literally wouldnt look twice at gum #yet i still have an urge to spend time w him just bc i USED to enjoy it??#and its unfair bc i feel like i based so much of my life around out rs #like i really tried to be a deficated gf #and he just??? didnt fucking try at all????

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I feel like it has taken me months to learn what I should have realised a long time ago, but if two people aren’t compatible, no amount of love can make it work.

#do i even love him any more??#i dont think i do #i dont know any more and maybe its a sign that i dont

I used to think that the reason you can’t be friends with you ex is that one day one of u is gonna start dating someone new. Buuuut I think the real reason is that if they disappoint you as a partner, they’ll continue to disappoint you as a friend.

asadsadclown

Ok I did it I messaged I needed to know 👀

asadsadclown

Yeahhhh I’m a dumb bitch

Ok I did it I messaged I needed to know 👀

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I either know exactly what he meant and it’s breaking my heart, or I’m on COMPLETELY the wrong lines fuck.

#im literally so fucking tempted #just one message

asadsadclown

Ok my mind has just leapt to a stupid conclusion about what “I’m sorry” means and I am PANICKING and all I want to do is message him and ask but that’s dumb right??

asadsadclown

Im freaking outttttttt

#why does he not post on social media i need to stalk 😩😩😩

Ok my mind has just leapt to a stupid conclusion about what “I’m sorry” means and I am PANICKING and all I want to do is message him and ask but that’s dumb right??

.

#AND (yes i have more to say on this)#he was all #oh these are just songs for us to listen to while we work #but like theyre pm the only thig ive heard him play since we broke up #aahhhhagagshsuabs dhakbdhskandbsjjs WHY DOES THIS ONE DUMB THING UPSET ME SO MUCH

For some reason it hurts me so much that he has a playlist of songs another girl introduced him to

#i check it everyday lol im such a fucking stalker bitch #never made a playlist of somgs i introduced him to #and even if he did #it wod probably barely reach lp length #THIS HURTS ME SO MUCH AND I CANT EXPLAIN WHH #i guess i always thought we never really bonded over music bc he was p set in the stuff he liked #and im p set in the stuff i like #but then as soon as another person is like hey listen to this #hes like omg these are the best sobns ever #people ask him to put a song on and he always puts one from this dumb playlist #like it once actually ruined my night #he put a song on and they were singing it and it was like OOF well never do that #its shit music anyway idk why i care #like literal boring af music like youd hear in a lift #ik i listen to sick music i dont need approval #still it would be nice???#ok these tags are dragging on

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Sorry for what?? 😩

#messaging me?#something he did in the past?#something hes just done?????#halp

Today he just messaged me “I’m sorry” and I literally can’t stop thinking about it and I didn’t respond but I really want to and I’m sort of half pissed off at him for breaking no contact but half desperate to talk to him and happy he wants to talk to me and fuck this is why I went NC in the first place 😭😭😭

#alice 3.0

It’s weird how just going 48 hrs without talking I can all ready feel myself becoming more of an individual with a life of my own. I feel like I’ve spent the last 2 years defining my life around him without realising that he wasn’t doing the same and it’s really badly affected me now that we’ve broken up because I just don’t know what to do with myself. I can already tell that no contact was the right decision and I really regret not pushing for it earlier now. But I was weak before, now I’m strong 💪🏼

#alice 3.0 #im actually embarassed of how codependent ive become #cant fucking wait for the day i look at him and feel nothing

I feel like I’m regressing hard.

#alice 3.0

Ok but do you ever have a dream where you live out your worst fear and it’s just as horrible as you expected it would be??

#ive woken up screaming at the idea that my ex will never love me again #its not pleasant #ive had the same dream 3 nights in a row :(

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Me when I was in a relationship: why do people get so upset about displays of public affection like come on just ignore them they’re happy :)

Me now: if you even touch your boyfriend’s hand within my eyesight I will murder both you you and piss on your corpse

You’d think NC gets easier with each day but it actually just gets progressively harder :////

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This heart's on fire