I Did This.

[he knew she’d inquire more on the subject. How could she not? A violent death like that hardly required nothing less than curiosity. He opened his mouth to tell her, when she interrupted him. Her words… touched him? Was that even the right phrase? It had been far too long since someone had been that kind to him; he didn’t even remember what it felt like] Thank you. [the small phrase was possibly the most genuine thing that had ever come out of his mouth, and his small but sad smile that accompanied it only proved it more true] I don’t— I don’t deserve you, Arya. I don’t deserve your kindness. [he took a deep sip of the alcohol and winced as it burned his throat, closing his eyes for a moment and then reopening them] I have failed so many people in my life, Arya. Y’see, when I was young, my brother was killed. We lived in a small lil’ town, so it was big news. No one ever figured out who did it. My parents went crazy, moved away to some European town and never came back. So my brother and I moved to New York, tryin’ to start a new life for ourselves. [he reached out and grasped her hand, thumb moving gently and comfortingly across the top of her hand, back and forth] I found out, through, God, years of living oblivious. [his teeth clenched, he threw back against swallow, and fought back tears] My brother, Sean, who I loved so much. Who I lived with and dedicated my life to— He killed our brother. He was the one who killed him. [he looked down, realizing his knuckles had nearly become white and he’d been squeezing her hand. He let go, studying his palm] When I spoke out, Sean called me crazy. Had me admitted for… PTSD. Survivor’s guilt. Total fuckin’ bullshit. But one day, he came to visit me, and— [one tear dripped down his face as he leaned his head back against the wall] —told me for certain that it was him that killed my brother. Who killed Raoul. [he chugged some for a moment, swallowing and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand] I lashed out. Tried to kill ‘im myself. But the police restrained me. Shot me down when I became violent. [he laughed, dryly, humorlessly, sadly] I wanted to be a detective when I was a kid. Funny, I had always thought I would die in a hail of gunfire. [he turned back to look at her, afraid to take her hand, afraid of what she thought of her now] I just thought it would be doin’ some good.

[Arya sipped more—yeah, more. She felt she'd need it. Especially since he said he didn't deserve her kindness. That was some bullshit. She swallowed gulps down carefully yet one by one and smiled up at him. The burn laced through her throat until it left. She listened to him, her smile fading ever so gracefully. She glanced down at their hands when he took hers, and curled her fingers inward to return the small gesture. Lifting her eyes back up at Trevor, she swallowed tightly and took another large sip. It wasn't good to bring forth those memories like that, like he was, and she could see it, and she could empathize.] Trev, [she gasped quietly, feeling the tightness of his grip on her hand. The second he let go, she opened and closed her fingers in a fist and then not as the very slight pain disappeared. She took another swig and closed her eyes momentarily, though still listened. Arya frowned greatly up at Trevor, her mouth twisting when a tear slid down his cheek. This was her friend. She had to remember that. Maybe some things weren't weakness. Maybe some things were strength, and there was strength in Trevor recalling these memories to her. She drank up again, feeling a little warmth creep up through her from the alcohol. Lifting a hand up to his cheek, she brushed the single tear away and swallowed hard] It's okay. [she told him, sighing shakily] It's okay. [whether his story was true, or if he killed his brother himself and did not recall, Arya saw him the same, just as she knew she would] Okay? You're a strong guy. You're... you're doing good, Trevor, you are. Just like you thought you would, you are. Bitter as you may be... and... and full of... self loathing, you're... doing good just by being... good. You are. And whatever you feel, the anger, the feeling of betrayal, something lost—that's completely valid, you deserve to feel that... and you deserve to have good things, too. [she took another large swig and her drink down to carefully—at first hesitatingly—hug him tightly]

Miles held her close wrapping his arms around her and not planning on letting go any time soon. But Arya pulled away far too quickly for his taste, but he held back a sigh as he watched the beautiful girl before him. “The flower? You’re worried about that flower?” He raised a brow. “There’s an entire garden out there for you, Arya. I would give you all the Delphiniums in the world if I could.” He watched her for a moment before asking, “What’s on your mind? It’s not just the flower that’s bothering you, obviously.”

He made it sound like it was silly to be worried about the god damn flower. Arya's eyebrows didn't lower in a frown so much, just slightly as if she were saddened. "It's February, Miles, in New England and it's full of snow which makes me wonder how you got the flower in the first place." She told him with a small smile. Arya pressed her lips together as butterflies fluttered in her stomach—a feeling that was becoming a little more welcome as days and weeks went by. Always with him in mind. Always. "You stupid!" She told him, scoffing lightly. "I was worried about the flower because what if you died? Then I wouldn't have had the flower to remember you by and I'd like to remember you with something that isn't just my memory because if I get old and stuff, my memory could die away if I had nothing from you." She took in a deep breath and let it out. "But here's the thing. You can't die on me. Ever. Not when you mean so much to me. Not when you've done whatever you've done to make me feel how I do because you kind of tickle me pink, Miles. So yeah. I'm kind of upset about a flower." She stared at Miles for a while. What'd she say? Way too much. Things she'd like to pretend were false. "Oh god." She turned from him and began to walk off, embarrassed.

He stared down at her, almost uncomfortable with her sudden action. But his was Arya. Any other girl besides Arya or Tessie, maybe, and he would have gotten up and made a run for it. He could trust Arya, right? It was only a nap. “Night.” He mumbled and began to watch the clock, attempting to calm and stop being so tense.

"It's afternoon!" Arya laughed, already thinking she wouldn't go to sleep if she was laughing. But still, she managed to doze off, looking peaceful. She was asleep until four minutes and thirty seconds, where she woke up in worry she would really sleep. Peeking at the clock, she sat up and grinned. "Okay I'm done wow great nap."

Yeah, sure. [he took a strong, deep sip of his own drink — he thought, at one point after his death, that he’d no longer be able to enjoy alcohol since he no longer needed to eat or drink. However, after his first sip he found himself enjoying it perhaps even more than before] Yes, a’right. Ask ‘em. [he leaned back against the wall, glass in hand, and studied her expressions, waiting for her to bolt and disappear behind one of the hallways. Instead, she looked at him and asked the obvious one — how he died. Trevor wasn’t the most open person in the world, but above all things, he usually did not mention his brother or his death to just anyone. Then again, Arya wasn’t just anyone] I, uh— Was shot. By the police. [he knew she’d ask further than that, but he waited to see what he reaction would be]

[Arya was quiet even after he delivered the most simplest of answers. Though, it was more because she was studying his expression. This top wasn't something he liked, it seemed. It was very touchy. She took another sip and swallowed hard] Why were the police on your tail that drove them to shoot you in the first place? [She herself frowned. Even if she may not, of course, know Trevor all so much, she knew him enough to know she trusted him and that whatever his past actions may be would not define him now. If only she could say the same for herself, but that was another thing entirely] Uh, hey, Trevor. Before... you answer that, okay, um, whatever... whatever you did, ever, in the past... it doesn't—it's not going to change how I feel about you, alright? My opinion of you won't change, I won't look at you differently, ever. Nothing could change that.

"Oh. Oh. That type of weed, right. I get it.” Except she didn’t. Her eyes widened and she turned to look at Arya incredulously, trying to understand what in the hell she was talking about. The redhead spoke with such absolute certainty that Anna felt rather idiotic for not being able to respond with such confidence. “Break some sucker’s heart? How would we do that?”

"Yeah. That kind of weed." Her eyes narrowed at her roommate with a small smirk playing on her lips. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" She asked. Evidently, Anna certainly wasn't the extrovert Arya was, nor did it seem she knew how to use her appearance to her own advantage or she'd definitely know what she was talking about. "Okay, you know you're, like, hot, right? You just..." Just what? What had occurred in her life that made her so very like she was. "You flaunt it! You flirt! And if you like lift your chin up and stare straight ahead with your shoulders back and chest out and think you're going to kill someone, you literally are so unstoppable with how hot you are." She said, nodding excitedly. "Come." She grabbed Anna's hand and dragged her outside for a moment. Catching some guy's eye, Arya looked over at Anna for a moment and back at said guy, working her subtle yet flirty eyes from far off and receiving a knowing smile from him. "Do you see? Do you see?" She whispered, pulling Anna back into their room.

He only nodded, not minding that he was helping a friend out. They both knew the struggle involving sleep and ten minutes could do her good. While sitting there, his eyelids remained heavy. Graham knew better than to close them, though it was rather tempting. Arya’s sudden change of mind helped him open his eyes some more. “Hey, yes you can. Trust me, I’m watching the clock. And if…anything goes on…” Meaning unwanted dreams. “I’ll wake you up.”

Arya nodded, swallowing hard as she took in a deep breath and let it out. "Mhm, mhm." She turned to face Graham's chest and hugged it as if it were some pillow. Arya slept like that if she ever did, hugging something. And she closed her eyes once more. "Five minutes."

[His excitement sparking again, Freddie leaped up with his hands in the air and a wide smile plastered upon his face] Thanks! Isn’t it gorgeous? I’m telling you, if I was a girl I’d curl it or something just so it had some flare.

Freddie calm down, now you're sounding ridiculous. That's like saying you're gunna straighten your pubes—please don't.

"Yeah, pretty much. I, uh, don’t know who my parents are. I was a foster kid."

"Sorry." Arya told her, frowning, though understanding that, too. Except, it wasn't until last year she found out about her real parents. "Anyway, um, this is your room."

"Weed? Like, grass weeds? Does it taste better?" Anna’s eyes flickered brightly and she nodded, crawling over onto Arya’s bed from her own. "Something fun?"

"Oh... wow." Arya was a little shocked and she shook her head. "No... no that's not what I mean." She laughed, shrugging. What was there to do? "We can break some sorry suckers hearts?" She suggested, not exactly having had done so in a long time, and Anna certainly had the face and body for that—she had to be capable of that art.

"Have you done this stuff before?" Anna asked, wrinkling her nose as she stared at the cigarette. "It’s not as fun as it sounds."

"Yeah, and with something, y'know, better. Like weed." She softly laughed. "I've done a lot of stuff." Arya rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah, duh, you're smoking a cigarette, you're not going to have fun with that. Let's do something fun."

Graham looked down at her blanket and smoothed it out a bit. It wasn’t his and he didn’t love it as much, but something was better than nothing. The corners of his mouth lifted slightly and his eyes stared at her knowingly. She looked as tired as he felt. “Hey! Bossy. I was using that.” It was like she knew he’d do it, or maybe he had no say in the matter. Either way, he leaned back against the couch and wasn’t bothered by her demands or using him as a pillow. “Ten minutes, starting now.” 

"Um you were not using your lap you're not alone in your room so." Arya told him with a smaller yawn following. Her eyes closed happily and she hummed lightly. "Okay watch the clock." But in three minutes, she sat up. Even though the relief of just shutting her eyes overtook her, and whatever sleep magic happened the second you felt relax began to work, her paranoia and fear was much more powerful. "I can't do it."

He knew how true that was. “Thanks for saving me then.” He lightly pawed her hand away and pouted a bit over having to get up, though he knew he had to. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Graham raised a questioning brow. “Really? Why, you don’t want it anymore?”

"Yep." Arya wrinkled her nose at Graham and laughed a little at his cat-like behavior. She should probably take a power nap, shouldn't she? But not now. "I'm good, man. I really am." She yawned, her mouth opening so wide it was like she was a lion. "Shit." She muttered. How long had it even been since she last tried to sleep? Arya couldn't even remember. That was pretty bad. "Yo that dance really fucked me up even more, give me." She snatched the blanket from him and laid on his lap. "Watch TV and wake me in ten minutes."

"Awesome," she said following Arya through the corridors. "Originally? No clue. But I grew up in Boston mainly."

"OH, so you're from around here, technically. Right? But uh... how come you have no idea where you're from from?"

"Thank you, for waking me up." Graham flashed a sleepy smile, appreciating that the person kept to their word when he had briefly asked to be woken up after a power nap. It had been risky to doze off, but as soon as he let his hazel eyes shut, the Aussie had been fast asleep. The ten minute nap had been a safe choice and he was relieved. 

"I can't let a fellow insomniac suffer from sleep too much or bad things could happen." Arya told him, pulling him up by the collar of his shirt and having him sit up. "And that's still my blanket. Which you can keep. Really."

"Nope, I know it’s room 132 though."

Arya nodded. "Oh, that's three doors down from mine. So I can totally show you where it is. Come." She said, heading down the hall. "So, where you from?"

"Cross my heart."

"Alright, then. Have you gone to see where your room's at yet?"

"Have no friends. Check. Unless you’re offering, of course."

"Hey I do have standards for my friends for the most part, like, the promise that you won't kill me, for one."