aroace loser

In the first few books he is responsible for the sneaking and scouting missions. I’m especially talking about before the battle of Limmat. When him and Hal are preparing for the invasion, his abilities to be unseen is described similar to those of the rangers’s.

But then Lydia shows up and she takes over all scouting missions. Now, I’m not complaining about giving Lydia assignments (Flanagan’s inability to believe that she can be of any value to the crew when they are sailing is another rant).

But several times they want someone to go with her to “be the muscles” is case anything goes wrong. Most of the time that’s Hal. I understand he wants to survey the area because he’ll be the one to make the plans. But something Jesper should be the obvious choice.

-Stefan is a shapeshifter 

-Jesper can turn invisible

-The other seven members are alive and have no idea the three beings above exist, except Edvin, who can detect magic. However, their names are invoked in curses

-There’s a murder and these three spirits/demons are blamed.

It’s a small year for the Brotherband competition. Almost worryingly so. Erak almost called off the whole thing, but Svengal convinced him otherwise according to the town gossip. 

(“They need this sort of thing in dark times like these. There has to be a bright light somewhere.”) 

Edvin’s sixteen and is really getting too old to be sent off everyday by his parents and grandparents, but he can’t help it. His grandma has been dithering for weeks, fretting and placing plants and runes all over the house. Even his mother and her practical mind hasn’t had the heart to throw the bundles away when she discovers them. 

Edvin’s parents are older than most, yes, and they hold towards more recent shifts in thinking towards demons that skew towards pragmatism (Edvin’s father always scoffed when he heard about the tide whale and Edvin’s mother searches for an explanation for the shadow folk that walk across this realm) but his grandparents are the ones who tell Edvin he has a gift. They’re the ones who listen when he tells them about his new friends who can turn invisible and change shape as a child.

“I’m off to the opening session,” he calls out at the door, only partially hoping that he could make a quick escape. He won’t be home for months and families are discouraged from seeing the competitors during the competition. His father had to leave early for the docks, but at the sound of his voice, his mother and grandmother appear. 

His mother presses a kiss to the top of his head and gives him a once over. 

“You’re sure you have everything packed?” 

“I’m sure, ma.” 

“You have your jacket and your needles?”

They’re both packed neatly in his rucksack. “I’ve got everything I need.”

His ma isn’t convinced, but she nods her head and steps back to let his grandmother hug Edvin. 

As his grandmother embraces him, she stuffs a small carved figure, no, several, into his hand. The wooden one is of a man with two wolf heads, teeth bared in a not quite snarl, not quite smile. The second is made of a cloudy, almost translucent rock that is also in the shape of normal man. The third is a humanoid as well, though there are extra features like horns and scales and the like scattered across the body. 

“Keep these with you at all times. I fear you’ll need them soon.” 

Edvin curls his fingers over the figures of the spirits that he played with as a child. He hasn’t seen them in years, hasn’t seen Ulf, Wulf, Jesper, and Stefan. He hasn’t seen many demons around Hallasholm in years (“Spirits, Edvin,” corrected Ulf lazily as he played with young Edvin. “We’re spirits.”) The recent drought of spirits was good for Edvin’s headaches, but he knew that Hallasholm needed the spirits to properly function. 

With her warning given, his grandmother melts back into the house beside her daughter and both wave to Edvin as he sets off. 

The walk doesn’t take long at all to get to the meeting site and the sun is shining brighter than it has been in a while. Edvin takes this as a good sign. He’s pretty sure Tursgurd will be chosen to be a leader, but maybe the other leader will pick him.

–

(“We can’t have a brotherband of two. Hal will lead the third brotherband with four members instead of the six.” 

“Won’t that put us at an unfair disadvantage?”

Erak stared down at the newly appointed leader of the Heron Brotherband. “Boy, we’re all at an unfair disadvantage.”)

–

The competition goes about as well Edvin has expected considering the fact that they’re down two members and he, Hal, Stig, and Ingvar are pretty much outcasts in society. Ingvar is a nice enough guy, but he’s practically blind and his stature made him an intimidating figure around town. Stig is strong and athletic, but even Edvin can see he’s got a chip the size of Erak’s helmet in his shoulder. 

Of course, Thorn and Lydia, the girl who Thorn and a ranger brought back from Limmat several years ago, were always around the brotherband as often as they were allowed to. Thorn pushes them and improves their skills, while Lydia mostly watches and sharpens her dirk. 

Edvin values their company, but he feels a sense of unease around both of them. He doesn’t get the sense that they’ll hurt him or anything like that, it’s the sense that Thorn and Lydia have spent a lot of time on the outskirts of someone filled to the brim with magic and that scares Edvin more than he would care to admit. If they spend so much time around magic (which Edvin isn’t even sure that could happen in Hallasholm without people’s knowledge- that’s more of an Araluen practice) then Thorn and Lydia could probably detect the magic around Edvin and maybe turn him in. 

It’s not a comforting thought. 

Still, the brotherband improves leaps and bounds under Thorn’s instruction and soon the brotherband period is almost over. 

— 

Before the final non-sailing task, each member is allowed to go back to their homes for one night. Hal melts into the night, off to visit Thorn, Karina, and Lydia. Stig hurries home, eager to see Hanah and help out with the clothes. Ingvar walks Edvin to his front door, seemingly unconcerned with the possibility of encroaching darkness. 

(“Have a good night Edvin. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“You as well. Be careful walking back.”

“I will.”)

It hadn’t been five seconds since Edvin’s opened the door before his grandma flings herself in front of him, her eyes wide open and scared. 

“It’s happening tomorrow. You must be ready!”

“What’s happening tomorrow? I don’t understand.” 

She grabs him and reaches for his hands. “Do you still have the figurines?”

Wordlessly, Edvin shows the figures of the demons to his grandmother. 

“Good, good. You’ll need them in the coming days.”

Edvin desperately hopes she’s wrong.

—

The final land competition is a brutal game of capture the flag. The Sharks destroy the Herons easily, but lose to the Wolves. However, in this last round, the gods have been smiling down on them and if the Herons win this round, they could get second place. Thanks to some ingenious plans from Hal and Stig’s quick reflexes, only Rollond is left guarding the flag. 

It’s getting late, later than the competition should be running, and Edvin’s pretty sure Erak and Svengal already left to grab more people to referee and find the flag. Luckily, the cabin is right in front of them, ready to be broken into. 

Hal lets out a breath when they stop in front of the door. “Are we ready?”

“As we’ll ever be.”

Stig walks in first followed by Hal and Ingvar with Edvin bringing up the rear. The cabin is dark and the front room is almost empty except for furniture scattered around. 

“I don’t like this,” murmured Stig to Hal, who nodded slightly in agreement. 

“It feels…” Hal wiggled his hands in front of him for lack of a proper word. Edvin was inclined to agree with him. Unless Rollond was taking an ambush approach, which probably wouldn’t have gone well for him considering it would be four against one, he should have been confronting them by now. 

Stig mirrors Edvin’s thoughts. “Keep a careful watch as we go into the next room. Rollond is up to something.” 

As Stig sets a careful pace towards the backroom, Edvin feels his head start to ache in a familiar way. A ringing sound starts to pulse in his ears and he feels the thrall of magic near him. Nothing good is coming from that room. 

“We need to turn back-”

Stig opens the door and Edvin trails off, too late at his warning. Dark stains surround Rollond’s still body, on the floor and on the wall. 

They’re fresh. 

Drawn on the walls are three figures, three figures that mirror the figurines in Edvin’s pockets. 

Ulf and Wulf, Stefan, and Jesper.

Rollond is clutching his dagger tightly in hand, which irrationally makes Edvin a bit relieved in his shock. Rollond will make it to Vahalla. He’ll be eating and feasting with Hulde at this moment; it’s a small comfort, but it is a comfort nonetheless. 

For a moment no one moves and Stig breaks the stillness. Brave, perceptive, wears his heart on his sleeve Stig.

“Three demons called, three humans needed,” murmurs Stig, bowing down next to Rollond. “This was a trap.” 

He looks up at them, skipping over Edvin and his face crumpling when he gets to Ingvar and Hal. On their chests is a rough figure, each one matching a shape on the wall. Stig’s eyes slowly slide down to his own shirt where a dark red figure of a humanoid has appeared. 

Those markings show up when demons are summoned and Edvin knows that the three spirits he played with as a young child have just been summoned to kill the brotherband leader. His mind feels like it’s practically been split in half by an axe from the pain. 

Three quarters of the brotherband have just been given death sentences for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and Edvin is right alongside them. It’s the only thing he can do in penance now.

Hal takes a step back at the sight but staggers when he gets to the door, physically unable to leave the house. Edvin is frozen in place beside Ingvar, who has finally come to life. 

“Someone summoned spirits, but it can’t be them… not these three.”

Ingvar turns to look at him and Edvin becomes aware he’s babbling. He flushes, but Ingvar continues to stare at him. 

“You know these demons?” It’s not an accusatory question, but there’s some sort of force behind Ingvar’s words. Magic isn’t outlawed, but social exile happens more often than not for magic users. Somehow, Edvin gets the feeling that Ingvar knows more about spirits and magic than he lets on.

“Yes.” It’s a condemning statement. 

“Do you think they did it?”

“I- I don’t- if they were compelled to magically, maybe.”

“Figure out who murdered Rollond and bring back the truth.” 

There is no room for doubt in Ingvar’s order and Edvin wonders how Ingvar got so confident so quickly. 

From the window, a small flame appear on the hill and the Herons realize that they are minutes away from being joined by half the town

“Run, Edvin! Run!” Ingvar roars at his friend and for the first time in his life, Edvin can see why the people of Hallasholm walk ever-so-slightly faster around Ingvar and his family. He takes a breath and steels his nerves.

“I’m not leaving you to face the town alone.” Stig lets out a strangled, manic laugh at this from the floor.

Hal pins Edvin down with a stare. “Our trial will take time, especially if they can’t find the spirits to testify. They can’t kill us without the testimony of the spirits. You aren’t leaving us alone.” 

“What if they do? What if they forgo the whole trial? The city could kill you and the spirits as soon as they’re seen.” 

“Get Lydia and Thorn. They’ll help you, but you have to leave now.” 

It doesn’t escape Edvin’s notice that Hal dodges his question, but his skirl has given him an order and Edvin doesn’t dare fail him now.

—

Edvin runs as fast as he can for as long as he can. The little voice in the back of his mind tells him that running only makes him look guilty, but a voice that sounds like Ingvar insists that he won’t let that happen. 

Branches scratch at his face and the salt from his tears stings when it hits the scratches. The farthest place he can think of right now, a place that no one will go to for a long time is by the cliffs. There’s a grassy clearing right by the sea and the thick forest protects it. Edvin just has to make it to the clearing and unleash his gift. 

The clearing is just ahead when his knees give out and Edvin drops to the grassy ground, hanging his head and feeling the soil beneath his aching hands. He knows what he has to do- the headache has been building for days now- but that doesn’t mean the process will be any more pleasant. 

He whispers their names, their true names, not the names he naively gave them as a child and he lets his tears and blood fall onto the figures. “The Wolves That Howl As One. Ever Changing Like The Sky And Sea. Born Of Air And Theft.” 

In the distance, a horrific howling sound erupts from both the sky and the forest. The sea crashes into the cliff and lightning flashes close enough for Edvin to close his eyes to avoid the light. When he wrenches them open, three still bodies lay in front of him on the wet grass. 

One figure is a human, with broad shoulders and two wolf heads where his head should be, his arms splayed out across the grass like a starfish. Another figure is barely more than a wisp in human shape, the green color of grass showing through the body. The third figure is still, but Edvin can see the features and limbs shifting constantly without thought, human to animal to human again. 

His headache feels alleviated, if only for a brief moment before coming back and Edvin uses that pain to push himself up to his knees, ready to stomp over to the spirits and drag them back to court. Childhood friends or not, he’ll set the pyre himself for the murder of Rollond. He only needs them to confess who the three people were who summoned them. 

The Wolves That Howls As One let out a whimper that stops Edvin right in his tracks. It’s unlike any other sound he’s heard the spirit make. It’s almost identical to the sound of a wolf getting stuck in a trap. 

Evin pushes away a stray tear from his eye, flicking it away, and takes a better look at the spirits. A pulse of cold flashes through his body as he sees Born Of Air And Theft grow progressively murkier and redder. The Wolves That Howl As One whimper again and they shift to clutch a leg that looks shredded. 

Even though they murders his friend and broke the laws and Edvin fully intends to turn the in to save his other friends, Edvin can’t help but drop to his knees and start to figure what he can do to heal the injuries. He’s only a physician after all. And these are his childhood friends. 

“What have you done?” 

It’s a soft whisper and Edvin isn’t sure he said it out loud until Ever Changing Like The Sky And Sea writhes closer. 

It takes a considerable amount of energy for the spirit to eke out “It wasn’t us… trap set... sorry for..” 

Soooo, I took a moment to think about this, and I think I finally came to a conclusion. I've known that his name is pronounced 'Yesper' for some time already but I always read it 'Jesper' because I've been corrupted by the English language.

However, I think the nickname 'Yes' sounds cringy only in English (assuming English = Araluen) and similar languages because in other languages and mainly, in Skandian, the word 'Yes' doesn't have the same meaning as the Araluen (English) version of it. It doesn't have the meaning of an expression of agreement, but it can just be a nickname.

I tend to forget that the Herons do not usually speak Araluen (English) but Skandian. (Btw, I have written a whole thing about my headcanons for the language abilities of the crew, but back then I considered Araluen and the Common language as two different languages.... and I am still not sure about it.) However, to be honest, I think that to be able to see the right perspective, I would have to learn some Scandinavian language and read the BB translation of it... let's call it a long-term project.