Knight of Swords and Five of Pentacles
Yes, I'm sure your cause is just and your sword is true, but you did almost run over those pedestrians.
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

roma★
Keni
KIROKAZE
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
occasionally subtle
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Stranger Things
sheepfilms

Discoholic 🪩
Cosmic Funnies

izzy's playlists!

JVL
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
$LAYYYTER
todays bird
Today's Document

pixel skylines

⁂
DEAR READER
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@artz-fartz
Knight of Swords and Five of Pentacles
Yes, I'm sure your cause is just and your sword is true, but you did almost run over those pedestrians.

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The Toronto Reference Library
Designed by Canadian architect Raymond Moriyama (1977)
imagine hiring an assassin and they talk to you in a customer service voice
"Hello, how can I help you today? Wonderful, can I get a first and last name? And how would I spell that? Awesome. And would you happen to have an address for this individual? And place of work? Fantastic.
Now, I'm going to give you a number, and I'm going to ask that you send in a photo of your target alongside any additional information you may have- family members, security, combat training, medical conditions, just anything you can think of that might be helpful.
Wonderful, you are all good. All we need now is a piece of government-issued ID, for insurance purposes, and a location for payment pickup. We accept cash, gold, processed uranium, and etransfer.
I'm sorry, we don't take american express.
Good, okay, so it looks like we are all set- when the job is complete, you will be notified VIA discreet codeword that a stranger will whisper to you on a crowded street.
We do not issue receipts, but if you'd like, I can arrange for a specific breed of tropical flower to be sent to your home address. Our associates will be able to validate it should the need arises.
And is that everything you were looking for today? Great! Thank you for coming to us. Have a nice day!"
Alternatively,
"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid the Pope is a high-status target that is beyond our area of service.
Yes, I- no, I'm sorry, I'm not able to do that for you.
Okay. Okay. Yes, I understand.
Sir, if you're going to use that sort of language, you should know that our HR department does operate in a hands-on capacity.
Wonderful. You take care."
They create a perfectly normal call cemter staffed by decidedly amoral college students and paying them at least 4x minimum wage.
hiring manager: you’re not concerned about the ah, services we offer?
a college student who has eaten ramen twice a day for the past year: for $25/hour i’ll pull the trigger myself
Look, the difference between Assassins and Customer Service is that Assassins are paid a lot of money to kill people and Customer Service isn’t being paid nearly enough not to.
Suzanne Fabry (Belgian, 1904–1985) - La capture (self-portrait with a unicorn)
No one ever tell me anything bad about the person who runs this account.
the person who runs this account, Katie Gouldin, is an evolutionary biologist who has an EXCELLENT podcast called Creature Feature which compares and contrasts the weird behaviors of man and beast! she is super cute and funny too!
oh thank GOD
just want to add i love how much she hates elon
yeah okay ill reblog that
She is also credited by the Audubon society with coining the word “birb”
Also source for probably the best reaction image in history:

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Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.
So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.
Task failed abysmally, I'm having a threesome on Tuesday. My job is to look pretty and hand over the props.
That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.
Please stop reblogging this, if it ends up on Tiktok some teenybopper is gonna call me bad ace representation.
I give it like 6 months until the steampunk jokes stop being ironic
You'll realize just how marvelous a contraption can be
Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob
top 5 sexiest injuries:
-bruises
-bullet wound
-split lip
-nosebleed/broken nose
-stab wound
glad to see everyone here is also really Normal
The Way You're Made, 2025 Analog collage

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i fucking love the matrix
Collared peccary (Dicotyles pecari/Pecari tajacu)
“Ain't I Elegant?” by Alan Levine, Public Domain Dedication (CC0)
(x)
The Sphinx & The Griffin
Rahel Rick
Rahel: “My leather jacket is from Awoke Vintage, dress from a London vintage market, and vintage Valentino boots from Osaka, Japan. The tie is also Valentino, glasses Gucci, and bag Right Direction.”
Rick: ”My pants, jacket, and dragon shirt are all vintage, hat and bag by @zambarrett, and sunnies Bvlgari.”
May 14, 2026 ∙ Gowanus
Ricardo Martínez de Hoyos - El Brujo (The Wizard), oil on canvas, 1971

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look both ways ↔️
“i have of late lost all my mirth” should be a valid reason not to come in to work