do nuns have pockets

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

imagine hiring an assassin and they talk to you in a customer service voice

They create a perfectly normal call cemter staffed by decidedly amoral college students and paying them at least 4x minimum wage.

Look, the difference between Assassins and Customer Service is that Assassins are paid a lot of money to kill people and Customer Service isn’t being paid nearly enough not to.

the person who runs this account, Katie Gouldin, is an evolutionary biologist who has an EXCELLENT podcast called Creature Feature which compares and contrasts the weird behaviors of man and beast! she is super cute and funny too!

oh thank GOD

yeah okay ill reblog that

She is also credited by the Audubon society with coining the word “birb”

Task failed abysmally, I'm having a threesome on Tuesday. My job is to look pretty and hand over the props.

That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.

Please stop reblogging this, if it ends up on Tiktok some teenybopper is gonna call me bad ace representation.

I give it like 6 months until the steampunk jokes stop being ironic

You'll realize just how marvelous a contraption can be

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

glad to see everyone here is also really Normal

i fucking love the matrix