signs you’re recovering from long term abuse:
bursts of rage, or continuous rage at what was done to you
desire to overpower, restrain, chain up, torture or murder your abuser
clarity and full belief in your perception, complete rejection of abuser’s point of view
no longer caring what the abuser thinks of you, knowing their opinion is worthless and filled with lies
cutting off abusers easily as soon as you notice they’re toxic to you
willingness to do whatever it takes to fight for your life
rage at anyone who would cause any further abuse to you
strong conviction that hurting you is evil, and that anyone who does hurt you should be villified for it
full belief that anyone who hurts you is not to be excused for their actions, not given further trust, and that they should pay for it
valuing your freedom of movement, freedom of mind, safety of resources and ability to survive more than any kind of uncertain hopes, promises or validation
unwillingness to depend on someone’s view of you, opinion of you, or affection towards you, as it could change at any second and causes instability and anxiety
valuing stability more than highs and lows
ability to detect when someone is trying to confuse you, divert your point, make you look bad with the intention of punishing or controlling you, silence you or make themselves superior to you, and reacting with rage
avalanche of rage at any attempt to gaslight you, not willing for one second to doubt your own memory, being completely clear that anyone who pretends they didn’t do and say things they did is lying
unwillingness to consider yourself less valuable or important than other humans, and getting angry whenever you’re treated in such manner
refusing to do as you’re told, even if it makes people angry, knowing that what you want to do is more important than what anyone else wants from you
owning your life for yourself and knowing nobody else has any right to it
anger at everyone who could have helped you while you were abused and didn’t, anger at anyone who sided with your abusers, anger at system which allowed for you to be abused for so long, anger at helplessness to change it
recognition of your situation and full awareness you were helpless during abuse, and that none of it is remotely your fault
unwillingness to pretend and act in social situations
unwillingness abandon your morals, feelings, opinions and personality for the sake of pretend friendships and pretend relationships, only seeking real connections that don’t require you to make yourself socially acceptable
distrust in anyone who you notice is demanding authority, control, abuse and exploitation of another’s life, recognizing abusers and those who abuse the power of their social or economic standing and being actively disgusted by them
no delusions about people “only wanting the best for you” or “only wanting to help” while they’re hurting you, rejecting all harmful and useless advice and minimization of your pain
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