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trying on a metaphor
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ur hair looks small
NEW GIRL 2.13: A Father’s Love
NEW GIRL 2.01 - Relaunch
Mike Wheeler *heavily implied to be queer*
The GA: you’re all delusional! he’s the straightest person on the whole show he’s been obsessed with the super powered girl since he was 12 years old which can have no other plausible explanation for a young nerd except for romantic attraction and straightness!!
Will Byers *comes out as gay to nearly every character on the entire show and leaves absolutely no room for misinterpretation*
The GA: this was so unnecessary to the plot and it shouldn’t even be in my super cool very straight sci-fi show, it’s woke garbage!!
Soo to recap: don’t tell no one (Mike) because then they’ll just call you straight and don’t tell everyone (Will) because then they’ll just call you a waste of screen time.
TRULY Shroedingers Homo.
It’s almost like there’s just no right way for a character to be queer in the eyes of the GA.

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Nancy makes an offhand comment to Mike one day about the painting™️ and how odd it is that El commissioned that scene in particular when she’s not interested in d&d and one thing leads to another and Mike finds out the truth and is understandably hurt by all the lies from all sides, Will and El, and what it all led to. Years of confusion and repression he still hasn’t fully admitted too.
During the argument, Jonathan being the wonderful brother he is immediately comes to Wills defense and tells Mike he needs to take it easy on him and Will did nothing wrong. He was just doing what he thought was best at the time.
Nancy hears this and scoffs and when Jonathan asks if she has something she’d like to add she says “you’d probably feel differently if it happened to you.”
Jonathan says no, he wouldn’t. He’d be totally understanding of someone’s reasons for lying or omitting the truth to protect their feelings. Nancy tells him that in that case this seems like as good a time as any to tell him that his camera, his most prized possession, the thing he cherishes most isn’t from her. It was a Christmas gift for Jonathan from Steve. Always has been.
Jonathan’s eyes widen as he speedruns years of interactions and feelings he wasn’t prepared to analyze.
Now there’s a cacophony of voices all trying to be heard over one another with Will all but ignoring his brother and Nancy and pleading with Mike for forgiveness and Mike is folding in three seconds flat without a second thought because of Will’s sad doe eyes and he can never stay mad at him so he’s telling him no HE should be the one asking for forgiveness after the way he treated Will the summer of 85’ and now they’re hugging and Jonathan is demanding answers from Steve who is shouting questions about how he got dragged into all this and it’s not even a big deal it was so long ago it’s just a camera but Jonathan won’t let him off the hook because what do you mean he bought that camera at a time when he thought Steve hated him and why lie about who it was from why lie and it’s at this point that Nancy just slinks away from the chaos with a smirk on her face feeling a sense of righteousness that no, she was never delusional, because yes all the men she loves are gay morons and they would have figured it out eventually but she’s tired and they could all use a win.
having pussy is gender neutral. having cock is gender neutral. having tits is gender neutral. using 3 in one body wash, shampoo and conditioner is for men though
gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me
This still fucking cracks me up
The real bloopers were the S5 episodes we watched along the way 💙

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The unresolved snowball effect of lies between these 3 will make me insane forever
“everyone is so nice here and ive made lots of friends”
The next day
El lied to Mike and then Will lied to Mike ABOUT El and then Mike lied to El because of the lie Will told him and El knew he was lying and they NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT AGAIN
And not one iota of this mess was resolved in any way in S5.
“landed the plane” my ass
Every so often if I’m feeling down I remind myself that Erid and Vulcan canonically orbit the same star, 40 Eridani A, ergo during the events of phm they shared a single Petrova line.
So that means Rocky and Grace are the historical figures who saved Vulcan from extinction.
Since Mary’s ship logs were dispersed and studied, I like to imagine that Vulcans think of Rocky and Grace with a sort of reverence. Maybe they have statues of them in the Katric Ark. In the Kelvin timeline, after the events of Nero, the old symbols and statues are resurrected on New Vulcan, this time with some new additions.
And that is how the city center of New Shikahr ends up having four prominent statues; an Eridian and a Terran who saved Vulcan’s planet, and a Vulcan and his Terran Captain who could not save the planet but managed to preserve Vulcan culture along with the Elders and save as many lives as they could which allowed the Vulcan race to avoid extinction once again.
Bonus HC: Jim and Spock argue for years over whether Grace was more prominently a ship captain or a science officer, both wanting to claim him as one of their own. Scotty always happily reminds them that the real hero was the engineer who saved him.
Oh nothing just thinking about Will Byers taking off his belt in front of Mike Wheeler on a wet bathroom floor bc that’s totally platonic and not gay
if there was one glance, just one peak from fw like in that bedroom scene, it would've been game over, mike would've gotten that gay vecna montage instead
Instead of a little girl catching them (weird) it’s Lucas sticking his head up through the hole like a meerkat and seeing Will wriggling out of his belt while a soaking wet Mike encourages him to undress faster. Lucas sighs and just climbs back down the ladder.
Joyce: what is it? is everything okay? Lucas: oh yeah, totally.
Joyce: oh thank god we’re gonna save the kids. Lucas: oh, no no. Definitely not. We’re all gonna die. Joyce: …….
Lucas: but those two idiots finally figured something out

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“They were never gonna break up the flagship couple of the show!”
Correct. Which is why Lucas and Max are still together.
Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices