paint me like one of your french-canadian hockeys @art-on-ice - Tumblr Blog

Jacques le Moyne de Morgues. A Young Daughter of the Picts. c. 1585 // David Pastrňák in a floral Gucci suit, via his Instagram. October 9, 2019.

#under normal circumstances i am not...how do u say...friendly to the boston bruins #circumstances being what they are it is better for the red wings if boston beats the caps in round 1 so #let’s go pasta deke on those old old very old men!!#david pastrnak #david pastrňák #boston bruins #bonus tags:#if you’re thinking to yourself ‘isn’t there a don cherry suit that would work better here?’ the answer is yes of course #but he’s the Worst so this gucci suit will have to suffice #i think this is more sophisticated anyway

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Sandro Botticelli. Madonna of the Pomegranate (Madonna della Melagrana). c. 1487 // Kirill Kaprizov photographed by Harrison Barden, 2021. (inspired by this post)

#would you believe me if i told you it was almost impossible to find a botticelli angel pretty enough for this #even this is...like they look like the same exact person except unfortunately ya boi is still too pretty #must be tough being so cherubic #kirill kaprizov #minnesota wild

Nico and Nolan catching up postgame vs. a couple of dandies. (Robert Dighton. Portrait of George ‘Beau’ Brummell. 1805. & Mattheus Verheyden. Portrait of Gerard Cornelis van Riebeeck. c 1755.) (inspired by @swish-swish-nyoom-nyoom‘s tags on this post)

#when i tell you this has been rattling around my brain for m o n t h s #me: DON’T make me think of them as dandy gentlemen i won’t survive the impact of that blow #also me: here’s a side by side visual comparison with my works cited #swish-swish-nyoom-nyoom you’re a genius for that tag but now you’re never allowed to change your url lmao #nico hischier #new jersey devils #nolan patrick #philadephia flyers

sugar-cult

.. I knew this looked familiar

art-on-ice

Michelangelo. The Creation of Adam. c. 1512 // An airborne Travis Konecny during Round 2, Game 6 of the 2020 Stanley Cup Playoffs, photographed by Dan Hamilton. September 3, 2020.

#i’d like to give a warm welcome to another visionary in our midst #admirable work good buddy #travis konency #philadephia flyers

Vincent Van Gogh. Noon - Rest from Work (after Millet). 1890. // Lexi Carrick. Marty and Mitchy Snuggles. 2018.

#i don’t go here but lexi deserves recognition for her talents #also i have a(n) (ir)rational hatred for matt martin idk what he did but he did somethin #‘spiritual meaning and emotional comfort expressed through symbolism’ could be said for both of these #mitch marner #matt martin #lexi carrick #toronto maple leafs #new york islanders

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This blog is so upsetting (I say this as a compliment)

#i CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH: everything about this response is a joke #idhsksj sorry anon your ask just made me think of this quote so i googled it and this image came up and i laughed for approximately 20 min #i just love terrible facebook edits #the absolute irrelevancy of the joker. the fact that this is not a banksy quote. the edgy background. like... it’s trash meme perfection.#anyway this ask is concerning bc i don’t think i’ve posted anything upsetting since the jamie benn one #and that wasn’t even my idea! i hate that man ask anyone!#and that’s only upsetting if u hate him as much as i do probly #the seguin one? upsetting for the same reasons for me personally but i SAW yall simping in the notes so #also the crosby one like. that’s not my fault that’s on him and the pittsburgh penguins for being nasty nasty men #the parallels already exist anon i simply point the spotlight in their direction #anon

William Dyce. King Joash Shooting the Arrow of Deliverance. 1844. // PK Subban’s iconic celly on home ice after his goal during the 2nd period in Round 1, Game 2 of the Stanley Cup playoffs. April 17, 2015.

#get it cuz he’s a KING #and also legitimately one of my favorite nhl players of all time and just one of the best people in general tbqh #the man the myth the ICON #pk subban #do i tag the habs in this?? idk man #montreal canadiens #new jersey devils

girouxes(.)tumblr(.)com/post/629515783754612736 Anotha one

the post (trigger warning for weight related numbers)

certified Compact Dad™ claude giroux

#i know that tw might seem silly but it can be viscerally upsetting to find out you’re Heavier than an nhl player lmao #my bdd thanks you #we’re cool tho anon u seem cool no worries #anon #claude giroux

Edward Armitage. The Remorse of Judas. 1866. //Joe Thornton photographed by Christian Peterson. 2018.

#for legal reasons this is a joke #this one might be what the kids call: Too Soon #joe thornton #san jose sharks #or i guess now it’s actually:#toronto maple leafs #oof

girouxes(.)tumblr(.)com/post/627554233692078080

(for anyone interested here is the post)

listen i knew what was coming and even so, i couldn’t prepare myself for just exactly how Little he looks in these pictures. my brain just can’t process it, it’s nothing but dial-up noises in my head right now, it’s like looking at that one picture of 3 girls from some university standing next to each other and 2 are their tallest volleyball players and third is their shortest cheerleader and they literally look like two different humanoid fantasy races. like my brain gets the information from my eyes, glances at it, then hands it back and says “no <3”

#the ones where he’s stading next to jake are particularly distressing #and the one at the end where he’s standing between thornton and burns #the classic x-files ‘i want to believe’ quote on a t-shirt except mine would have that pic and say ‘i don’t want to believe’#a little giroux sandwich #claude giroux #anon

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Have you seen the post that is just photos of Claude Giroux being small?

(ʘ_ʘ)

i have NOT

#please know i have the moste delicate hold on my own sanity #claude giroux #anon

the best part about discovering G is small is he's not just short he's pretty damn skinny compared to the other guys on the team too. if you look at him out of padding with guys like Jake, Provy, or Raff he's got chicken legs. Even TK who's still an inch shorter than him is bulkier. it makes his early career, check heavy style even better bc its just this short skinny ginger blowing up 6'2+ dmen at center ice.

#i was torn between this and a ‘so you think i’m SKINYYY’ joke #you’re my dad!boogie woogie! etc ad nauseam #i really do just adore him what an icon #have u seen that one pic of him in The Shorts tho? he at least a little thick #claude giroux #anon

Vincent van Gogh. Self-Portrait. 1889. // Claude Giroux photographed by Chase Agnello-Dean. 2020.

#these tags have nothing to do with the post itself but:#i haven’t been the same since i found out claude giroux is short #i’m a different person. my life can be divided into two halves. life before knowing claude giroux’s actual height and life after #like! he’s little!!#but kudos to him for having 6’-4’’ energy nevertheless #a sneaky short king...#claude giroux #philadephia flyers

malkinzhenya

spot the difference

malkinzhenya

and i oop-

art-on-ice

op has The Vision™

#i wish i had thought of this first #op you absolute visionary #jt compher #colorado avalanche

Two women fighting in the street from Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles, c. 1475-1500. // Meghan Agosta (Team Canada) and Anne Schleper (Team USA) push each other in the second period of the gold medal game at the Sochi Olympics, February 20, 2014.

#idk how to feel about this one but it’s been living in my brain for weeks so #also the quality is shit but there’s no better images of cent nouvelles i promise u #meghan agosta #anne schleper #woho

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i think the name and year of the paintings is part of the Aesthetic of the Post

lol i agree, i’ll keep adding them to all of my posts. the carter hart one was a one-off because it was literally like a full paragraph and i was finally like “jfc no one is actually here for an art history lesson” and then deleted it

#but now i am filled with regret so thank you for the inner turmoil this evening was shaping up to be too peaceful #(i’m mostly joking we’re cool anon)#anon

carter hart + pre-raphaelite muses

(inspired by this post)

#i was going to do just one comparison like all of my other posts #the problem i found was that carter hart looks like every pre-raphaelite muse #every picture of him could have been painted circa 1860 #he’s got the glowing complexion the puffy red lips the fluffy hair the virginal aura #it is frankly unsettling #also i didn’t cite the paintings bc i feel like no one is actually interested in those and it was just a wall of text #but if you ARE interested lmk and i can tell u what painting they’re from #the carter pics are straight off google if anyone is curious but i feel like. again. probably no one cares #‘we’re here for the aesthetics u annoying bitch!’ i hear u #carter hart #philadephia flyers

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paint me like one of your french-canadian hockeys